Fifty Shades: Whole Again
by SusieCC
Summary: Christian and Ana worked hard to make their family and their marriage truly whole again. They think the threat has been neutralized but the reality is that the trouble has only just begun. Will Christian listen to what Allyson has to say or will it already be too late. Lot's of family fluff and lemons along the way. *Sequel to Broken Hearted read first* **NO CHEATING!**
1. Family Time

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

* * *

"Good morning sweet boy." I whisper to my son as I lift him from his bassinette. "Daddy is still asleep and lord knows he's going to be grouchy since he decided to get drunk with silly Uncle Elliot, yes he did." He gripes and groans as I prop him up against my chest, rubbing his back in soft circles.

I giggle as I look at my husband who is lying on his front, hugging the pillow with his head turned to one side, drooling, only Christian Grey could make drooling look adorable.

"Matty, this is why you shouldn't drink when you're a big boy, because hangovers suck and your wife or girlfriend will do everything she can to make you suffer whenever you have one." I sit back down on the bed and untie my robe, managing to remove it with one hand whilst holding my son in the other then drop the strap of my nightgown.

"It's alright sweetie, there you go." I say as I guide him to my breast and he latches quickly, his little arms bouncing as he suckles. I feel my eyes get heavy, I am completely exhausted but the baby in my arms doesn't appear to adhere to my schedule!

Just as I am about to drift off to sleep Matthew pulls away from my nipple, indicating that he's either finished, or has gas… I am hoping for the former.

"Are you done baby boy?" I ask him, leaning down to kiss his little button nose. He pulls his little footed feet up to his chest which tells me he has wind. I prop him up on my shoulder; barely managing to get two repetitions of the pat-rub routine before he belches loudly.

"Good job, such a good boy Matthew." I slowly return him to the crook of my arm, kiss his sweet forehead and gently rock him back to sleep which thankfully doesn't take too long. I creep over to the bassinette and lower him inside, holding my breath as he fusses at the motion but calms after a few reassuring murmurs from me. Once he's settled I climb back into bed, I snuggle into the side of my husband and lay a few butterflies kisses on his shoulder before sleep claims me once more.

**~o0o~**

I wake up an hour or two later and decide to get up, I doubt my husband will be awake for quite some time yet. I change into a pair of leggings and a baggy off the shoulder sweater with a cami underneath before making sure that I take Matthews monitor with me and pad downstairs, finding Grace and Carrick sitting with Olivia in the breakfast room.

"Good morning darling, how did you sleep?" Grace asks as she sets her cup of coffee down.

"I slept okay thank you, how about you?" I take a seat beside my in-laws and pour myself a glass of orange juice, taking a grateful gulp of the ice cold sweetness before reaching for my daughter; I sit her down on my lap and whisper my good-morning into her hair.

"We slept fine dear, is my son awake yet?" Carrick answers with a smirk.

"I doubt it, I woke up around four to feed Matthew and Christian was hugging the pillow and drooling. He hasn't moved or made a sound since, except for the occasional sleepy grunt.

"I think our grandchildren should wake their fathers this morning don't you think darling?" Grace chuckles at me.

"I think that's a wonderful idea Grace, and although it's a rare joy to watch Christian let loose and have fun for a change, he was completely wrecked last night. It'll be nice to watch him suffer the consequences of having to look after small children with a hangover." Carrick agrees.

"I could count the times I've witnessed Christian drunk on one hand, and if I'm being honest, he is quite an adorable drunk." I giggle at the memory of his drunken fuck last night; it was quite spectacular if I'm being honest.

"Mama, dah!" Olivia tugs on my arm impatiently, then holds both of her hands out, palms up and shrugs in question; obviously wondering where her father is and why he isn't with us.

"Daddy's sleeping button, he'll be up soon though, okay?" I smile down at her and kiss her chocolate curls.

"Tay mama." She nods at me and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Do you want some breakfast baby?" I ask her as I stroke her back. Her head is leaning against my breast with her hand laying over the top swell.

"Mama, yeah." Olivia nods excitedly; she loves her food which pleases her father immensely

"What would you like, cereal, pancakes and fruit or some oatmeal?"

"Cake, fwoot?" She tells me with her toothy grin.

"Okay, can you sit with Grammy and poppa while mommy goes to get some pancakes for you?" I ask her, she nods excitedly and claps her hands. I give her over to Grace and kiss her hair before going over to the kitchen. Gretchen is standing at the stove cooking up a storm; the scent of bacon lingering in the air is making my mouth water in anticipation.

"Hello Mrs. Grey, is there anything I can get you?" She asks me with a tight smile, I still don't like her since she looks at Christian like he's a piece of meat she'd love to nibble on but I push that aside and concentrate on my best, most gracious and polite smile.

_When in reality you want to slap the shit out of her._

"Hi Gretchen, I just wanted to know if there is any pancakes ready for Olivia?"

"I'm just about to start on those just now; I'm also making Belgian waffles. Breakfast should be done soon though. I just have to make the pancakes and waffles, everything else is ready and in the warmer. Is there anything you'd like me to serve with them for Olivia or the other children?" She asks me as she stirs the buttermilk batter.

"Just some fresh fruit, and could you serve a bowl of whipped cream as well please, I'll add that and the syrup once you bring her plate through. I only give her a small amount because she gets it everywhere and trying to brush out a toddler's hair that's matted with syrup isn't fun at all." I tell her with a sardonic expression which earns me a smile in return.

"No problem Mrs. Grey, would you like me to bring you anything?" She asks me as she flips the golden pancake. I don't particularly like the woman but I can't deny that she makes the best buttermilk pancakes I've ever tasted, even better than IHOP and don't get me started about her waffles, they are the perfect balance between crispy on the outside and warm and soft in the middle, just delicious!

"Just a cup of tea, bag out please. I'll be in the breakfast room, thank you Gretchen." I tell her once I've snapped myself out of my daydream then make my way back to the table.

"Mama, cake?" She frowns at me, wondering where her pancakes are.

"They aren't ready yet button. Miss Gretchen is cooking them for you though; you'll get them soon." I tell her, she's sitting on Grace's lap with her arms crossed in front of her chest and a pout on her adorable face.

"No, now mama." She whines with her lower lip jutting out, I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at her as she is obviously in the huff.

"Olivia Katherine, stop pouting. You can't get them now because they aren't cooked and you'll get a sore tummy, say sorry for speaking to mommy like that." Grace admonishes her while she looks at her feet, like they are the most interesting thing on the planet then she sighs heavily.

"Sworry mama."

"Thank you for saying sorry button, I love you so much. I'm sure Miss Gretchen will bring your pancakes soon." She holds her arms out to me, indicating that she wants to sit with me instead of with Grace, probably because she got into trouble from her Grammy. Just as I get her settled on my lap, Gracie comes shuffling into the breakfast room, her pigtails in disarray, one leg of her pyjamas is hitched up to her knee and she appears to still be half asleep.

"Good morning bug, did you sleep well?" I ask Gracie as she comes over to me and hoists herself up beside me, I have Olivia balanced on one thigh and Gracie balanced on the other.

"I guess it was okay 'cept Ava's snoring and Ted he talked when he was asleep." She grumbles and rests her head against my shoulder.

"So have you woken up a little grumpy bug today?"

"Yep, I'm gonna be a grumpy bug all day 'cause I'm overtired." She sniffs haughtily and I can't stop myself from giggling.

"You are so like you're daddy baby girl. How about mommy makes it her mission to un-grump my bug?"

"It's not gonna work mommy, I'm grumpy in my bones today." I can see Graces shoulders falling up and down with the accompanying sounds of choking due to restrained laughter behind the newspaper.

"What about if you have pancakes, fresh fruit, whipped cream and syrup for breakfast?" I whisper in her ear and she pulls back to look in my eyes.

"Are you messing with me mommy? Cause that's mean if you are…"

"I'm being serious; will that un-grump the grumpy-bug?"

"I think it just might do the trick mommy." She giggles and kisses my cheek then kisses Olivia.

"Mornin' Livvy." She tells her little sister who is snuggled into my side sucking her thumb. I hope she gets rid of that habit soon, especially when she tries to speak with her thumb in her mouth.

"Grams, I had fun here last night, I think we should all live here all the times cause it's so much fun… but we has to bring Nana, Uncle Jason, Uncle Luke and Lacy." She says to Grace with a grin on her face "Oh, and the puppies!" She adds with an adorable nod of her head.

"We can't all live her bug, wouldn't you miss your bedroom and all your toys, what about our back garden, your tree house, the fort and the playground daddy and your uncles built? Wouldn't you miss all that?" I ask her and she contemplates it for a few moments.

"I guess so, but it was a nice dream while it lasted." She sighs wistfully and I completely lose it, along with Grace and Carrick.

"You are absolutely adorable sweet girl." I give her a big kiss on the cheek before she hops down and sits on one of the booster seats so she can reach the table and I put Olivia into her highchair.

"Morning mom, Grams, pops." Ted says as he plops himself down at the table.

"Hey baby, is Ava awake?" I ask him as I run my hands through the gorgeous disarray of sleepy wayward copper curls in an attempt to tame them.

"Yep, she's in the bathroom then she's coming down. Have I missed breakfast?" Ted asks as he rubs his tummy.

"No, it's getting made right now, should be done soon." I tell him while he pours a drink for himself and Gracie. Olivia has a Sippy cup on the table but she doesn't want it.

"Morning Steele." Kate says as she walks—waddles—past me with Ava following behind her mother.

"Morning Kavanagh, how are you feeling?" I ask her, her bump is getting bigger by the day. I can't believe that in less than nine weeks I'll have my first nephew, I am so excited.

"We're fine, a certain someone who is inside my belly kept me awake all night with his incessant need to audition for stomp." She admonishes her tummy lightly, which causes us all to laugh lightly. Mia and Ethan file in and take their seats, it's lucky that Grace and Carrick had enough foresight to pick out a table that seats twelve comfortably and fourteen at a push. Gretchen pushes in the warmer trolley laden with food, and Olivia starts bouncing in her highchair clapping her hands.

"Mmmm cakes, fwoot mama!" She hums as she takes in the scent of the delicious breakfast foods available, pointing at the tray. Gretchen transfers the serving dishes from the tray onto the table and once she's finished she heads back to the kitchen to get the toast, tea and coffee.

"Is there anything else I can get for any of you?" She asks.

"No, I think that's everything Gretchen dear, unless anyone else wants anything?" Grace says to her and we all shake our heads, eager to dig in, and as soon as she leaves the room, we do.

"Teddy, Gracie… just wait a second and mommy will give you your breakfast; just tell me what you want okay?"

"Okay mommy." Gracie nods and Ted waits patiently, his eyes devouring the food on the table.

"Gracie, would you prefer waffles or the pancakes?" I ask her and she rubs her hands together and licks her lips.

"Um, waffles." I spear two waffles and pop them onto her plate, giving them a light dusting of powdered sugar over the top, it's not as if the kids get something sweet and sugary for breakfast all the time, the most they ever get is pancakes with a little syrup so this will be a treat. I spoon on heaps of fresh fruit salad, then a spoonful of whipped cream before drizzling on some syrup.

"Do you want me to cut it up for you bug?" I ask her and she nods with her eyes wide, as does Ted and Ava. I cut her waffles into four and hand her the plate with a fork.

"What do you want Ted?" I ask him.

"Um, can I just have the same as Gracie, except I'd like three waffles, if that's alright? Oh, and maybe after the waffles I can have some bacon and eggs."

"Sure thing buddy." I dish up his, the exact same way as Gracie's then hand him his plate."

"Can I have the same as Gracie and Ted mom?" I hear Ava ask.

"Sure sweetie, I think I'm going to have the same… it looks so yummy." Kate laughs as she plates up the same items for the both of them.

"If daddy and Uncle Christian don't get up soon there isn't going to be any left for them." Kate looks at me and we both smirk.

"Serves them right, it's their own fault that they're hung-over!" Kate giggles.

_Too bad for them, they shouldn't have gotten so drunk._

"Mamaaaa cake for me?" Olivia whines.

"I'm getting yours baby, just two more minutes okay." I say as I grab a pancake and add it to her plastic bowl, cutting it into small pieces.

"Tay." She seems satisfied watching me get her breakfast ready while my stomach growls impatiently for me to get my own. I add some fruit, whipped cream and syrup into her bowl then place it on the tray of her highchair, then hand her the plastic fork; which is pretty pointless because she prefers to use her hands. I fill her Sippy cup with orange juice and hand it over to her then start getting my own breakfast ready. Once I'm done I grab my fork and knife and dig in.

"How bad was Christian last night Ana? Elliot was completely wrecked and practically poured himself into bed." Kate shakes her head as she munches on a strawberry. I feel completely stuffed, I ate every bit of food on my plate and Christian wasn't even here to witness it.

_That is pathetic you know…_

"He wasn't that bad but he'll still have a headache whenever he decides to roll out of bed though." I giggle, shaking my head at his drunken antics. I can't believe he was about to ask if he could fuck me right in front of his parents. I finish the juice in my glass and groan at the amount of food I've just eaten as Ted sets about eating his bacon, eggs and sausage.

"Can me and Ava watch cartoons?" Gracie asks.

"It's fine with me as long as Grams and Poppa say its okay with them. So you better ask nicely." Gracie jumps down of her chair, goes over to Grace and bats her little lashes sweetly.

"Grams, may I please watch cartoons in the family room." _Oh, that kid is good!_

"Of course you can sweet girl." Gracie jumps up onto Grace's lap.

"Thanks Grams, you are the bestest Grams in the whole world." She kisses Grace's cheek then jumps down, grabs Ava's hand and the both of them skip out of the room giggling.

"Mama, me sthicky." Olivia reaches her pudgy hand out to me, clenching and unclenching her fist to illustrate its level of stickiness.

"You are most definitely all sticky, little girl! Let's go get you cleaned up. Should we visit daddy and wake him up once we're done?"

"Mmmhm, dahh." She nods excitedly. I go to bathroom and grab a small face cloth to wipe her hands before taking her upstairs because if I don't, she'll get syrup in my hair. I go back to the breakfast room and wipe her hands and lift the tray from the highchair. I pick up all the soggy bits of pancake and fruit that's stuck to her pyjama bottoms before lifting her up.

"Mama tum thee dah." She pats my cheek trying to convince me to take her upstairs to see her daddy.

"We'll go upstairs and get you dressed then I'll take you to wake daddy up with kisses okay?" I tell her, she responds with a loud squeal and kicks her legs as I balance her on my hip. I can't believe she's twenty-two months old. She's almost two; it's unreal how fast time goes by.

I take her upstairs and into the guest room just along the hallway from Grace and Carrick, where they put up her pack'n'play. I dump her on the bed so that her butt bounces, earning me giggles of delight. I grab a pair of brown leggings with a cream cashmere sweater dress, paired with chestnut ugg boots. We decided against putting them on since we're in the house and there's no point in wearing boots inside, well according to Gracie anyway and since Olivia heard Gracie and I arguing about that precise topic, she's decided that she won't wear boots or any kind of shoe in the house. I'm just about to take Olivia into Christian's childhood bedroom when I hear Matthew begin to cry, perfect timing or what?!

"Shall we go wake daddy?" I ask her in a whisper, she responds with an excited nod of her head. "Okay, let's go wake him then. I'll dump you on the bed and you can tickle daddy, and give him lots of kisses okay?"

"Tay, me waked dah?"

"Yes you… mommy will hold Matthew since it's only you that's allowed to wake daddy up today." She beams at me obviously ecstatic at the thought on getting one up on her baby brother. I plop Olivia down on the bed while I go to Matthew who is fussing that adorable newborn baby cry, it just seems to pierce my heart each time I hear him cry it.

"Hey little man, are you ready for your breakfast?" I ask him as I rock him in my arms.

"Dahhh, waked waked." She whispers into Christian's ear before smacking her lips on his cheek then sits back waiting for his reaction.

"DAHHHH!" Olivia shouts as she sits on her knees at the side of her father, he stirs and groans but is generally unresponsive.

"Tell him to wake up baby, you have to shout though." I tell her with a giggle.

"WAAAAKED UPPPPP DAHHHH!"

"Oh g-god, I think I've gone to hell!" Christian groans and buries his head into the pillow.

"Mama, dah not up." She frowns at her father then decides another tactic. She pulls herself over to him and somehow manages to sit on his lower back and begins to bounce.

"Waaaaked up, waaaaaked uuuuup." She continues to bounce while Christian prays to the gods.

"I'm up, I'm up. Just please stop bouncing." He lifts his arm behind himself and braces Olivia while he turns around. His eyes are bright red and bloodshot, and although it's completely horrible I burst out laughing.

"Ana, it's not… oh god I think I'm going to throw up." He tells me before jumping out of bed and running headlong down the hallway to the bathroom, as Kate comes up the stairs.

"Mama, me got dah up." She gives me a toothy grin and giggles.

"You did little miss. Well done, I think daddy is feeling yucky though." I tell her as I run my hands through her wispy curls. I kiss her forehead and inhale the scent of my sweet baby girl.

"One down, one to go… let's go wake Uncle Elliot Livvy." Kate holds out her hand for Olivia to take and leads her down the hallway to the room they shared for the night. I hold my son in my arms and enter the bathroom to find my husband praying to the porcelain gods.

* * *

Oh fuck, what the fuck did I do last night, I rake my brain for some semblance of a clue to why I feel like shit? Then it hits me, I was drinking with Elliot, and oh shit, what the fuck did I drink last night, and why the fuck is Olivia jumping all over me and squealing?

""Oh g-god, I think I've gone to hell!" The longer I ignore her, the louder she squeals and the harder she bounces so I give up the ghost of pretending to sleep while I suffer in silence.

"I'm up, I'm up. Just please stop bouncing." My eyes are still shut and I can't for the life of me persuade them to open with my head buried in the pillow, which is where I'd prefer it to stay but I suspect my wife has other ideas. I can feel my daughter sitting on my back and about to start bouncing again so I lift my arm and brace her so that I can turn around without fear of hurting her. I manage to open my eyes although I can't see for shit and for some unknown reason my wife finds that fact amusing.

Oh shit, oh fuck… I'm going to vomit. Oh please don't make me vomit.

"Ana, it's not… oh god I think I'm going to throw up." I manage to croak out before feeling the saliva build up in my mouth and I know my stomach is going to begin expelling soon so I toss the sheets back and jump out of the bed, I run down the hallway just in time to empty my stomach contents.

Oh Jesus lord that fucking stinks, why does it always smell so damn rancid when you vomit due to alcohol and the taste oh fuck the taste is even worse.

"Oh god, please make it stop. Oh fuck, oh…" Each time I think I can't possibly puke any more, my stomach decides to prove me wrong and I vomit.

"Are you okay honey? Do you want some water?" Ana asks in a concerned tone while my son fusses in her arms.

"I'll be fine baby, just take care of Matthew, it's my own fault for drinking like a twenty year old when I'm middle aged." She lets out more glorious peals of laughter and my fucked up, hung-over head can't even appreciate it since the sound pierces my temples and burns right through my brain. I don't want her to leave me; I need her to take care of me.

"Christian, you don't have to pretend, I know how much you hate being nauseous. I'm going to take Matthew down to your mother then I'll come back up to take care of you okay?" She tells me while rubbing my back, soothing me in my time of need.

"Oh thank fuck, please hurry back baby." I say with my eyes watering… because I've vomited, it's not like I'm crying or anything.

_Yeah right Grey, you big fucking wuss!_

Ana leaves the bathroom while I hug the bowl, my head leaning against the cold porcelain which feels amazing against my sweaty brow. A few minutes pass then Ana comes into the bathroom and kneels down beside me, she wraps her arm around my back and soothingly rubs up and down while I dry-heave.

"I have some water and Advil for you; do you think you could try a few small sips for me? I don't want you to get any more dehydrated than you already are." I lift my head and take the glass of water and take a gulp, swirl it around in my mouth and spit it out which sort of helps with the rancid taste. I take the two pills and toss them into my mouth, swallowing with a small sip of water.

"I hate being sick." I tell her as my stomach lurches and I feel the bile rise in my throat but I push it back and control my breathing.

"I know you hate it, but Christian… you never let loose and just have fun. It was wonderful to see you having a good time with Elliot last night, even though you got completely shit-faced." She giggles as she rubs her hand up and down my back. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this wonderful woman?

"I love you Ana, can you just hold me please?" I ask her in a pathetic, weak and shaky voice. She wraps her arm around my waist and I bury my sweaty brow into her neck, taking comfort in her delicious scent.

"It's okay sweetheart, you'll feel better soon." She tells me in a soothing voice. Just her presence soothes me.

"I'm never drinking in excess ever again. This is the reason why I don't drink alcohol." I whine, my head is banging and my stomach is doing summersaults.

"You need to eat something; I brought up some ginger ale and a few crackers. If you at least try to eat them, they'll soak up whatever's left in your stomach." I know she's right but I don't think I can possibly eat or drink anything right now. She moves me slightly and stands up.

"Baby, where are you going?" I ask, worried that she's going to leave me to sit in my own self-inflicted misery.

"I'm just getting a cold washcloth…" She tells me as she turns on the cold tap at the washbasin. A few moments later she sits back down beside me, moving so that my head is resting on her lap as I lie on the floor and presses the cold cloth to the back of my neck.

"That feels nice, thank you for taking such good care of me." I whisper, running my hand up and down her legging-covered thigh, even when hung-over 'Big G' starts to twitch…down boy, not now… my head hurts like shit!

I don't know how long we lie here in silence with Ana continually giving me gentle caresses wherever her soft hands can reach and pressing the cold cloth to my neck and forehead until it becomes warm.

"How do you feel now sweetheart?" She asks me, her fingertips gently brushing up and down my bare back.

"A little better, I don't feel so sick anymore but my head is still pounding. If I ever even hint at getting drunk with Elliot, please remind me of how shitty I feel right at this moment and it should deter me from ever thinking of doing this again."

"Do you think you could try something to eat?" She asks with a hopeful lilt to her voice. I'm just about to tell her that I can't eat anything when my stomach answers for me with a loud, fierce growl of hunger which causes my love to giggle sweetly.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, let's get you dressed." She moves me off her lap and stands up, offering me her hand which I take gladly and pull myself to my feet. I go over to the counter and turn on the cold tap, I take a handful of water and splash it over my face, I repeat the action as it feels amazing against my warm, clammy skin. I quickly brush my teeth, thankful that it manages to completely remove the taste of alcohol infused vomit. Once I'm done we go back into my old bedroom and Ana fishes out a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt, clean socks, boxer-briefs and hands them over to me.

Once I'm dressed, Ana takes my hand and leads me downstairs to the family room where my parent's, Kate, Mia, and Ethan are sitting with the kids. Ava is holding Matthew in her arms, feeding him his bottle with a massive smile on her face.

"Uncle Christian… look, I'm feeding Matty by myself!" She tells me excitedly.

"I can see that sweetie; you need to get some practise before your little brother gets here." I tell her, trying to subdue the aching at my temples, hoping that if I ignore the pain it'll somehow disappear.

"Is Elliot up yet?" I ask Kate and she smirks.

"Oh he's up alright, Olivia made sure of that. He's still in the bathroom vomiting I think." Poor bastard, I got the same wake-up call but at least I have a wife who is empathetic to my hung-over state.

"How are you feeling darling?" Grace asks me.

"I have a bad headache and I vomited quite a few times." I answer with a pout, feeling more than just sorry for myself.

"I'm just about to make him something light to eat to try and settle his stomach." Ana answers, rubbing her hand up and down my back. "Are you alright with Matthew while I make something for Uncle Christian to eat honey?" Ana asks Ava and she nods with a smile.

"I'm fine Aunt Ana, I like feeding and holding him. I can't wait until mommy has my little brother; I'm gonna be the best big sister ever." She answers with a grin. "If my arms get tired I'll give him to Grams or mommy." Ana seems satisfied with that answer so she takes my hand and leads me through to the kitchen.

Gretchen is tidying the last of the breakfast dishes when we enter, she looks up at me, instantly blushes and starts fluttering her lashes at me, right in front of my wife.

_Get over it Gretchen—it's just a face._

"Oh Mr. Grey… is there anything I can get you sir, anything at all?" She asks me as she squares her shoulders, trying to make herself seem more appealing.

"No thank you Gretchen. My wife is just going to make me something to eat." I answer in an even, uninterested tone. I have never shown her the slightest bit of attention in the fifteen some years she has worked for my parents, you'd think that she would take the hint that I'm not interested in her.

"I'm happy to make something for you Mr. Grey; it is my job after all!" She narrows her eyes at Ana and I feel my blood begin to boil. "Now what can I get you, anything in particular that you're… um… hungry for?" Her pupils dilate with desire as her skin flushes and her breathing increases at the double entendre in her words.

"I'm more than capable of seeing to my husband's needs Gretchen; that will be all." Ana almost growls, making me smirk happily. I fucking love it when she gets jealous and possessive, but Gretchen isn't backing down.

"The cooking and cleaning of this house is my responsibility, so please allow me to continue to do my job to the best of my ability." Gretchen almost growls, if I wasn't so fucking hung-over I would have served her ass to her by now. I'm just about to say something when I feel a gentle hand at my elbow, moving me out of the way.

"Gretchen, I think you'll also find that it is in your job description and in your best interests to treat my family with the respect they deserve. Please go perform your other duties elsewhere, my daughter-in-law would like to make her husband something to eat and I think she'd prefer for you not to be in her general vicinity for the remainder of the day." Gretchen lowers her head and quickly scurries from the room like the little rodent that she is. I look up at my wife and I can see the fire in her eyes, it's not often that it's there but when it is… I know that I am about to have some very rough, very hard fucking in my not-so-distant future.

_Fuck yes!_

"I can only apologize to you darling, she needs to learn her place or she'll find herself swiftly unemployed."

"It's fine Grace, it's no secret that 'Gretchen' has a thing for Christian, she's just never been quite so obvious in her hatred for me." Ana says wryly. She's fucking glorious. I remember very little of what transpired last night but I do remember fucking the shit out of Ana, twice.

"I'll be having a very long discussion with her this evening and determine if she is going to remain in my employment. I am really sorry for the way she just spoke to you darling." Grace says as she wraps my wife in her arms.

"You have nothing to apologize for Grace. Thank you for sticking up for me." Ana replies, rubbing her hand up and down Grace's back before stepping away from the hug. "I suppose I should make your son his breakfast then huh?"

"I think he'd appreciate it since he is positively famished." I quip with a grin, which earns me with an eye-roll and a slap on my shoulder from my wife.

"I'll leave you to it then my dear, I'm going to go back to the family room and spend some time with my beloved Grandchildren." Grace says as she kisses our cheeks and leaves the kitchen. After what feels like a split second later Ana fists her hands in my hair and is attacking my lips with wild abandon.

"Mine." She whispers against my kiss-swollen lips.

"Yes baby, yours… always yours." I tell her as I run the back of my knuckles down her cheek and neck while peppering her lips with butterfly kisses.

"What are you hungry for, besides me?" She asks with a cheeky smirk.

"I dunno… just give me whatever you're making as long as it isn't too greasy because my stomach still feels kinda iffy." I tell her as she moves me to sit at the breakfast bar.

"How about a cheese and ham omelette, whole-wheat toast, followed by fresh fruit that's topped with cherry yoghurt? Oh, and a cup of coffee and a glass of Orange juice with bits?" She asks me with her head in my mother's refrigerator.

"That sounds perfect baby." I say with my head resting on my hand and my eyes closed. The throbbing at my temples is just as bad, if not worse than when I woke up.

"Hey daddy." I open my eyes to see my daughter standing at the side of me who is still in her PJ's with her pigtails all mussed up.

"Hey princess!" I lean down and lift her onto my lap, placing a chaste kiss at her temple.

"What's the matter daddy… you look kinda sad?" She says with a frown.

"Don't worry baby, daddy just has a sore head. Do you know what'll make me feel better…?

"Um I dunno." She says, looking up to give me a cheeky, dimpled grin. Fuck she is just precious and adorable. I know for fucking sure that by the time she is fifteen I'll be beating the boys off her with a steel bat. "I need a special love-bug hug." I tell her, kissing her temple.

"Uncle Lelliot has a sore head too; Aunt Kate said that he's a… silly-goose, well she used another word that I'm not sposed to say so I won't repeat it cause I'd get into biiiig trouble from you and mommy." She whispers the last part as if she's telling me a deep-dark secret.

"Well I'll be giving Aunt Kate into trouble for saying bad words around you." I tell her with a kiss to her temple.

"No… It's okay daddy, Ted got me two dollars for my promise not to tell you… aw drat. I just told you didn't I?" I try to stifle my laughter at her; she's holding her head in her hands in exasperation at herself. I look over at Ana and I can see her shoulders bobbing up and down in silent laughter.

"Ted says I'm just not very good at keeping my mouth shut, so they gosta know that by now so why even bother daddy, they're just wasting good money?!" She tells me incredulously. Jesus this kid is my clone.

"I don't know why bug… maybe they just want to give you their money? But you're never supposed to keep secrets from mommy and daddy so it doesn't matter that you told okay?"

"Okay daddy. Mommy, can I have some juice, I'm thirsty?" She asks Ana, swinging her legs back and forth from her seated position on the high back stool at the breakfast bar.

"Sure baby girl. Do you want Apple, Orange or Grape?" Ana asks as she takes a plastic princess cup from the cupboard.

"Ummmm… can I have Apple please?"

"Sure sweetie." Ana quickly pours out her juice and brings it over, then continues to chop up my fruit while the omelette cooks. The scent that accompanies my breakfast is making my mouth water in anticipation.

"Guess what daddy…" Gracie rests her fuzzy, mussed up head against my shoulder and looks up at me with a grin.

"Okay, I'll bite… I'm guessing what?" I lay a kiss on her dimpled cheek and spin her around a little so that she is sitting sideways on my lap.

"Well…" Oh boy, whenever Gracie starts a conversation with the word 'Well' it tends to last a while. "Ava was snoring all night and Ted was talking in his sleep so I woked up a grumpy-bug and mommy said she was gonna try and un-grump me but I told her it was simpossiple—no wait, that's not how that word is aposed to sound—simpossible, yeah simpossible. So mommy whispered in my ear that she was gonna give me a special treat for breakfast to un-grump me, you wana guess what my treat was daddy?" Damn, this kid is so adorable and even though I am currently drowning in the fifth circle of hell—more commonly known as hung-over—it's impossible not to find her completely adorable.

"Okay, um let me think for a second… uh did mommy let you eat a slimy toad with lots of warts?" She wraps her arms around my neck and giggles heartily.

"No silly sausage, guess again." She tells me with an indulgent look on her face.

"Uhh… did she let you eat a million cookies with a scoop of every flavour of Ben & jerry's ice cream?"

"Daddddddyy, be serious—if mommy had let me eated all that I'd be bouncing around the house like a ball of energetic sugar on a sugar high." Ana and I both giggle at that,

_Oh sweet girl, that's you on a good day._

"How about, did mommy let you have a chocolate bar for breakfast?"

"No daddy, d'ya just want me to tell you cause we're gonna be here all mornin' for you to get it?" I kiss her button nose and her forehead with a loving smile and gaze into her eyes, my eyes exactly copied into her small beautiful face framed.

I never thought it would be possible for me to love someone, anyone. I was always convinced that I'd leave fifty percent of GEH to Elliot's family and fifty percent to Mia's because I'd accepted that I'd die alone, that I'd never have an heir to my throne so to speak. When I met and married Ana and she told me she was pregnant, I was so terrified that I'd be a terrible father, I couldn't help but fear all the what-if's, like what if the only person I'm able to love is Ana, how could I learn to love someone else when it took me twenty four years to learn to love and accept love from my family never mind a small, sticky, vomiting shitting machine who'd take all of Ana's love and attention from me when I'd just found her for myself. Everything changed the moment Teddy's wriggling, pink body all covered in blood and white much was placed in my arms and he owned my heart, along with his mother, I didn't have to share the love I felt for Ana because my heart immediately doubled in size the moment his eyes met my own. It was the same for all of our children, the moment I held them I felt the most indescribable love pass between us. Ana and our four children own me mind, body and soul.

"Daaaaaddddyyy, hellooooo anybody hoooome?" Gracie's impatient voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Sorry baby, I got lost in my thoughts."

"What were you thinking of daddy?" She asks me and I smirk and tap my finger on the end of her nose.

"I was thinking of how much I love you and your brothers and sister, and how much I love mommy."

"We love you too daddy, lots and lots and lots and sooooooooo much. You're the bestest daddy in the whole word and that's how come we love you so much." She tells me as she squeezes her arms around my neck so tightly; it almost brings a tear to my eyes.

"So you were telling me about your special treat…" I steer the conversation back to her original point with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah, well mommy let me have two waffles, fruit, wiped cream and lots and lots of syrup. It was so yummy daddy but you missed it because you're hung-up."

"Wow that sounds delicious, I'm kinda sad I missed it…wait I'm what?" I shake my head trying to work out what she means.

"Well, Aunt Kate said that it was too bad that you missed our special yummy breakfast cause you and Uncle Lelliot were hung-up." Fucking Kate! She needs to watch her mouth around my children.

"Sweetie, daddy and Uncle Elliot were on the telephone for work and they got held up that's why they didn't get downstairs for breakfast but they ended up getting… hung-up on." Ana frowns and bites her lip hoping that Gracie will accept her explanation.

"Aoooh. Well that's okay daddy, mommy is maked you something to eat now, but it won't be as yummy scrummy as what we had. Sorry dude." She gives me a big smacking kiss on my cheek before she hops down and runs out the kitchen to get up to her usual Gracie Grey mischief. I look over at Ana and shake my head.

"Jeez, that kid is like a freight train." I don't know why but Ana burst into hysterical laughter, crossing her legs and holding between her thighs to stop herself from peeing from the hysteria.

"What, what's so funny?" I chuckle, catching her laughter.

"It's… it's just… oh god… my stomach, my stomach, oh it's just… that's what I used to… say about…you!" She sputters out while bent in half with giggles and tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks.

"What?" I ask her as I wipe my own eyes. She takes a few deep breaths and wipes away her tears before coming over and kissing my lips.

"Your lips are always so soft when you've been crying." I tell her in a small voice as I cup her cheek, my thumb absently brushing away the residual moisture lingering under her eyes.

"Well, whenever we would fight or argue you'd steam-roll me to get your own way I'd say that I'd just been run over by a freight train, a freight train that is and was my much beloved husband." My mouth opens in shock which makes Ana giggle some more, and as she turns around to continue to cook my breakfast I land a ringing, harsh smack right on her right ass cheek.

"You better believe there's more where that came from, your ass is going to be nice and pink by the time I'm finished with it and you'll know just how much of a freight train I can be!" I tell her with a smirk, finishing my comment with a wink.

"Oh… promises, promises sir." She murmurs over her shoulder, looking down at the floor before meeting my eye and biting down on her lower lip coyly. I feel my cock twitch in anticipation of a good, hard, kinky fuck when we go home and get our babies into bed and I for one can't fucking wait _pun intended!_

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**Authors Note: **_Just a fun fluffy chapter to kick the sequel off! I have to apologize for taking so long to post this, regrettably my family life has kind of taken over but rest assured that I'm on track and can't wait to unravel the second part of the story that has taken hostage in my brain!_

_What do you guys think, isn't Gracie just the sweetest?!_

_Lots Love & Laughs  
Susie ~ x_


	2. Bedtime Blues

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

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After another fun filled afternoon at Grey Manor, Christian called Taylor to come pick us up since my R8 only has two seats, he brought Sawyer with him so that he could drive my car home while Taylor drove us. Although we had a great time with the family, the kids are still bouncing around with over-excitement and I can't seem to get them to calm down enough to get them to bed. I've asked Gracie to stop running around so that I can get her bathed and bedded but she just won't listen and Christian is in his office catching up on work, I'm fast approaching my wits end right now.

"Phoebe Grace Grey it's time for your bath, I will not ask you again." I yell as she runs around in circles with the puppies.

"No mommy! I don't wana get in the bath I'm playin' wif the puppies." She crosses her arms over her chest frowning in the huff.

"Tough, it's time for your bath then it's bed time. I know you're running around having fun but you have to listen to mommy right now okay, let's go."

"NO I DON'T WANA!" She stomps her feet and starts rubbing her fists in her eyes as she cries loudly. I sit down on the sofa and hold my head in my hands. Gracie is acting up because she's over tired, I just got Matthew down for the night and Olivia is in her pyjama's but still isn't in bed, its 9:30 at night and I am so beyond stressed and exhausted.

"Gracie, do what mommy says. You're making mommy sad! You have to get in the bath or you'll be stinky and no one will want to be your friend. Quit being mean to mommy, she loves you lots and you're being horrible to her right now." Ted tells her in a stern voice. She sniffles and wipes her eyes before coming over to me. I still have my head in my hands but I see her little sock covered feet standing in front of me.

"M-mommy, I'm sorry for bein' m-mean to you." She tells me as she cries. I look up at her sad face, her eyes are bright red and her cheeks are tearstained.

"Thank you for saying sorry love-bug, I think you're still grumpy from being over-tired earlier today and all the playing you've done with Ava at Grams and Poppa's and then you've also played all evening here with the puppies hasn't helped. I think you need a nice bath and lots of snuggles with mommy while I read you a story, what do you think?" I ask her as she pulls herself onto my lap and buries her face into my shoulder as she cries.

"U-uh-huh mommy. I want you t-to snuggle wif me cause I'm sleepy." She tells me with a pout.

"Okay, let's get you upstairs into the bath baby." I kiss her temple and squeeze her in a tight hug then she hops off my lap and tries to pull me to my feet while Trix looks at her with her little head cocked to the side as if to say 'Hey, what about playtime with me, huh?' Gracie notices this and picks up both of the disgruntled puppies.

"Night nighty puppies, we can play tomorrow after school cause I has'ta go in the bath and go to bed cause I'm sleepy and you twos gotta be sleepy too. I love you both lots and lots and lots." She gives them both a kiss on their heads and sets them both back on the floor, Trix immediately starts whining because her best friend Gracie has put her down and Yoda just doesn't care. I pick them both up and pop them in their playpen Trix stands up on her hind legs and scrapes at the inside of the playpen trying to escape which makes Gracie giggle.

"Come on button, its way past your bedtime." I tell Olivia as I pick her up and sit her on my hip with a kiss to her forehead.

"No me bedtime." She tells me shaking her little head back and forth intently.

"Yes it is your bedtime Miss Olivia; in fact you are way passed your bedtime!" I tell her as I tickle her sides earning me peals of belly laughter and a toothy grin.

"Come on Gracie girl." I take her hand and together the three of us go upstairs. I send Gracie into her bedroom to pick out what pyjama's she wants to wear while I go drop my toddler in my husband's lap. I open the door to his home office and pause at the doorway, just watching him for a moment. He's sitting at his desk, his dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows as squints at the screen in front of him.

_He looks fucking deliciously sexy with those glasses on; oh can we go fuck him now, with those on please? Please, please oh please?!_My inner goddess gets down on her knees as she begs me.

"Christian?" I say in an attempt to get his attention.

"Yeah baby..." He looks up at me, his hair is sticking in a million different directions from constantly running his fingers through it but he is just oh, so sexy. I walk around his desk until I'm standing behind his chair and lay a kiss on his tousled hair then plop his little munchkin in his lap.

"Hey baby girl." As he kisses her cheeks, nose and forehead. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" He asks me.

"Gracie pitched a fit when I told her it was bath time then spent forty-five minutes crying and refusing to do as she was told. Ted gave her into trouble and she apologized. Matty is asleep but I obviously have to bath Gracie so can you please take care of your baby daughter and put her to bed?" I ask as I kiss his hair and run my fingers over the top of Olivia's fine wispy curls.

"Do you want daddy to snuggle with you princess-pie?" He asks her, she's already snuggled up into his arm with her head resting over his heart and her thumb in her mouth, so she just nods in response to his question with her eyes beginning to grow heavy.

"Goodnight baby girl, mommy loves you so much." I tell her as I kiss her cheeks and run my fingers through her hair once more then leave the room.

"Are you ready for your bath baby?" I ask Gracie as I peek my head around her door. She's sitting on the floor with her pyjamas folded up next to her, and a pair of bed socks placed neatly on top.

"Do I have to get my hair washed mommy?" She asks me, still sitting on the floor with her back to me.

"Yes, you have to get your hair washed." I tell her and she sighs heavily.

"I was afraid you were gonna say that. I don't wana get my hair washed." She says dejectedly.

"I know you don't want to get it washed, but sweetie, your hair is super long and you need it washed okay, come on the quicker we get you in the bath, the quicker you can get back out." She hops up and grabs her pyjamas and we go into her princess pink en-suite.

"Did you use the mer-matey pink bubble bath mommy; you know the one that turns the water pink?" She asks me as she strips off her clothes and I check the temperature of the water.

"Yep, it's all pink for you. I'll brush your hair out before we shampoo and hopefully won't get as knotted. I think your tangle-teaser is in one of the drawers in your vanity." I tell her as I hold her hand and help her into the tub. I get the brush, and undo her braids; I hold her hair at the roots so that it doesn't pull when I'm brushing. We quickly shampoo and condition her hair, and she plays for around ten minutes afterwards then wants out. I dry her off, and apply baby moisturizer all over her skin and get her into her pyjamas, then we sit on the bed and I redo her pigtail braids so that her hair is nice and curly for tomorrow.

I grab her Aladdin storybook and I only get to the fourth page and she's out like a light.

"Goodnight love-bug, I love you so much." I murmur against her forehead. I tuck her comforter around her body, making sure she's snug and warm before turning on her night light and turning her bedside lamp off. I quietly creep from the room and pull her door over so that it's almost closed. I then go and get Ted tucked in and tell him how much I love him before kissing him goodnight and shutting off his light. I go to take a peek in Olivia's room and nearly melt into a puddle of goo. Christian is sitting in the overstuffed glider in the corner of her room, his head resting against the soft cushion with Olivia curled up in his arms, wrapped in her pink blanket with her thumb in her mouth, both of them sound asleep.

I go over to them and run my hands through Christian's hair before kissing him on the forehead and carefully lift Olivia from his arms.

"B-baby what…?" His sleep filled whisper asks me.

"Shh, I'm just putting her into bed. You both fell asleep." I tell him with a smile, just as I lay Olivia down her eyes open with a start so I softly murmur to her until she relaxes back into sleep. I tuck her in and kiss her goodnight as does Christian, then we leave her bedroom and enter our own.

"I'm just going to get ready for bed sweetheart, try and keep awake for me please." I smirk at him over my shoulder as I enter the bathroom; I undress down to my underwear and quickly brush my teeth and wash my face as Christian comes in, wearing nothing except pyjama bottoms, and begins his bedtime routine. I stare at him in the mirror as I apply moisturizer to my face, I don't think I'll ever truly get used to how unbelievably attractive he is, he still makes my belly flutter whenever he looks at me, even after all these years.

"See something you like Mrs. Grey?" He asks me after rinsing his mouth out.

"Most definitely Mr. Grey, the real question is, what are you going to do about it?" I ask him, biting my lower lip as he looks me up and down; I'm standing in nothing but my bra and panties. He moves to stand behind me, gathering my long hair in his hand he brushes is to one side and slowly and gently kisses along the length of my neck, undulating his hips, grinding his hardened erection into my behind, as it gives way to a slow burn in my groin. His hands cup my breasts, softly kneading and massaging them until I throw my head back against his shoulder with a dull thud.

"I have wanted you to myself all day baby. I intend to make the most of the next hour or two, or three." He whispers hoarsely which causes me to moan loudly.

"That's right, let me hear you." He murmurs as his right hand leaves my breast and moves down over my belly and slips down the front of my panties. He sucks in a sharp breath as his middle finger slides along the length of my sex.

"So very, very wet Mrs. Grey. Look at us, watch me touch you, watch me play with your beautiful body." He pinches my nipple through my bra as his finger traces circles on my nub of pleasure. Sizzling electricity surrounds us and I begin to feel myself quicken in no time at all. I look at our reflection in the mirror. I'm flushed; my eyes are bright, wild, aroused. I feel my heartbeat soar as I take the intensity of Christian's expression, I can see just how much he wants me, how aroused he is. It's addictive and all consuming. I'm alight with passion for this man, my man.

I circle my hips in time with his maddening movements that are keeping me hovering on the edge of oblivion. His lips ghost along my neck leaving wet, opened mouth kisses in his wake. He nibbles on my earlobe and I feel a jolt of pleasure fire below my waist.

"Christian, please… oh." I groan as my hand reaches back and takes a hold of his very hard erection. I move up and down his length, revelling in the animalistic groan that escapes him.

"Yes. Fuck yes baby, you feel so good, so wet." My breath hitches as his finger applies more pressure, harder friction and just as I feel my orgasm begin to take hold he removes his hand from my panties and I protest with a loud groan.

"Shh, I want you in our bed. I want to look into your eyes as I make love to you baby. I want to feel you come around me." His words do what they always have done, quicken my pulse and inflame my blood with so much need and passion. He spins me around and cups my face in his hands as his mouth assaults my own. His tongue brushes along my lower lip, begging to gain entrance, which I automatically grant. I moan against his ardent mouth, his teeth nibble and tug my lower lip and I can't help myself. I quickly drop to my knees and pull down his pyjama pants. I take his rock hard erection in my hand, revelling in soft, smooth skin, solid with virility underneath. I feel every throbbing vein as I pump up and down. I look up at him as his hands brush through my hair and cup my cheek. I lean forward, maintaining eye contact as I lay a soft kiss to his tip. I watch him watching me as I bite my lower lip before licking him from root to tip. His eyes roll back when I envelop the tip inside my warm, wet mouth and suck gently. His hands thread into my hair, holding me gently but not guiding me… yet. I take him deeper; twirling my tongue around him before plunging down, balls deep.

"Oh my god, yes." He groans as he involuntarily bucks forward further down my throat. I moan loudly, allowing the vibrations of my throat to penetrate him, and from the sound of his tortured groan I'm sure that they did. "Fuck baby, yeah. Just…like…that." His tortured whisper permeates my soul and assaults my senses.

"So fucking good, Ana… uh, uh… your mouth baby, damn." His voice groans loudly, sending wisps of fluttering desire floods my core as I pleasure the man I love. His moans become quicker, shallower due to his mounting release. He looks down at me, moving my hair from my face so that he can watch the erotic image of his hardened member stroking in and out of my mouth.

_Oh fuck yes!_

I start to move faster, my head bobbing up and down as I nibble, lick and suck my way up, down and around his erection. His breathing starts to hitch in his throat and I know he won't be long. I suck harder, revelling in the harsh hiss that escapes him.

"Oh fuck yes, yes baby that's it, suck me dry." He bites out, his voice hard and delicious all at the same time. His hands take a firmer hold of my hair and start to thrust in and out of my mouth, setting a punishing rhythm. I feel him all the way to the back of my throat, I reach up and cup hiss balls, rolling and gently squeezing them in my hand.

"Ah, ah…Ana," He groans. "Uh, uh… baby, baby fuck. Ughhh I'm coming, I'm coming so hard for you." He explodes in my mouth with a tortured primal growl. Thick streams of his seed shooting from his length, His hands tighten in my hair, holding me fixed to him as I swallow, savouring the taste that is all Christian as I lick him clean, leaving soft, sucking kisses as I go.

He looks down at me as he pants, trying to get oxygen into his lungs. I reluctantly release him. He reaches down and helps me to my feet, and as soon as I am standing he picks me up in his arms, then starts kissing my neck. He moves over to the bed, dropping me onto the comfortable mattress before climbing on himself. He leans down towards me, his mouth formed in a pout as his lips brush against mine.

"Fuck baby that was amazing. I came so hard that I saw stars." He smirks at me, causing me to unleash my school-girl giggle.

My hand moves of its own volition, brushing down his defined chest, his muscles rippling as my fingertips gently caress his skin.

"I love you, so very much Mr. Grey. It's good to know that I can still give you amazing head." I wink at him as his mouth pops open in shock.

"Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it baby. Now, I'm going, _*kiss*_ to take, _*kiss*_ such good, _*kiss* _care of you. _*kiss* _Starting with, _*kiss* _making such, _*kiss*_ sweet, _*kiss*_ passionate, _*kiss* _love, _*kiss* _to your amazingly, _*kiss* _hot, _*kiss*_ sexy, fuckable body baby. _*kiss*_" He tells me as he places kisses along the length of my neck and shoulder while inflaming my desire by caressing every inch of skin that he can find. My response is only a tortured moan as I arch my back, pressing myself into his hot hard body.

He leans down and bites my nipple through my bra as his hand slowly brushes down my cheek, my neck, the side curve of my breast, down over my ribs and settles on my hip, his fingers plucking the lace of my panties.

"I think we need to divest you of this and that." He plucks the waistband of my panties once more and pulls at my bra cup with his teeth.

"I'm not stopping you, divest away." I tell him with a smirk my soul lightening upon witnessing his joyous grin. He reaches over to the bedside table and picks up the remote for the docking station, turning the volume up as sweet music fills the air around us, cocooning us within comforting melodies and tinkling notes with soft voices and whispered echoes of love, of understanding and acceptance of not just our best features but also our worst.

"I love you, so much." He tells me as he takes off my bra and tosses it to places unknown, followed swiftly by my panties because all I can see right now is him. "You make me so happy, every second of every minute of every hour of every day you make me smile, laugh, desire you, want you and our children Ana… our life, our life is amazing. I never thought I'd have this, this comfort and satisfaction and so much happiness and joy—I feel it all the time, you've given me everything Ana, I didn't know life could feel like this and I thank the gods of fate for bringing you to save me, because that's what you did… you saved me." He kisses away the emotional tears that are falling down my temples and seals my mouth in an impassioned kiss. I felt every word; every syllable that fell from his lips speared my heart and spread warmth through my veins.

"I… I love you too, I need you. I need you so much Christian just please… please love me. I need to feel you." I arch up to meet his lips and pull him to me, skin to skin. His hand slides up the outside of my thigh, reaching under to lift my leg and hitch it over his hip as he grinds his hardened length against my core. I feel fire pierce my skin wherever he touches me, sending warmth flooding through my soul.

I place both palms flat on his chest as I wrap my leg around his to gain enough leverage and momentum to reverse out positions. Once he's flat on his back I straddle his hips, and sit back on my heels, my tongue tracing around the flat disk of his nipple, teasing the hardened tip and biting softly. Christian has made love to me countless times and although I have lovingly controlled our bedroom encounters on occasion, other than the time we went to Aspen after we first married, it's always been hard fucking, about lust and desire and control of pleasure.

"Ugh, baby… fuck." He groans as his hands rub and squeeze my behind.

"I love you." I whisper as I lean down and capture his lips in a soft kiss. His hips surge upwards, his hands hold onto my thighs tightly, trying to afford himself some much needed friction. I rock against him, feeling him grow beneath me as I pepper his chest with loving kisses.

I reach around and grasp the throbbing erection between my husband's deliciously solid thighs and stroke him lovingly, twisting my closed fist around him as I pump up and down.

"Baby, baby, baby." He croons, moaning low in his throat as he looks up at me through heavy lids, all I can see is nothing but love, desire and adoration reflected in his dark grey gaze, beckoning surging emotions within my heart that threaten to consume me and drive me crazy with want.

"I'm going to show you, illustrate in great detail just how much I love and adore you, the way I feel relief in every breath you take, every beat of your heart is a comfort to my soul." I whisper hoarsely, I cup his face in my hands, my thumbs brushing back and forth over his jawline before reaching down and kissing him deeply. I lick along his bottom lip, applying gentle pressure, begging for access into his delicious mouth which he automatically grants. His tongue thrashes with mine, neither of us battling for dominance, both eager to just co-exist on the same plane.

"Baby… I—I need you, god I need you so much." He tells me with such conviction, feeling his love permeate my very being, the core essence of my soul which answers and responds only to his own. I let my hands ghost up his abs, moving slowly towards his chest just as the hauntingly soft melody of Shelter begins to play through the room, tinkling notes pour from the lone piano as I feel my heart fill with such pure, undiluted love. I pull back slightly to look in his eyes, my hands still cupping his face, trying to convey just how much he means to me. His head surges upwards locking his lips with my own, unable to withstand the delicious anticipation that is heavy around us.

I lift myself up a little, taking his throbbing member in my hand; swiping my thumb over the enlarged tip to collect the moisture lying in wait as we kiss deeply. I slide him through my folds, coating him in my arousal then place him at my entrance. I gaze down at him as I slowly take each beloved inch of him inside me.

I slowly let my head fall back, my hair tumbling in thick chestnut waves down my back as keep my hips stock still, just allowing the overwhelming feeling of fullness, both physically and emotionally warm my entire being. I am surrounded and bathed within my husband, falling deeper and deeper in love with him as every second slowly ticks by.

I take a deep breath and lean down to kiss him deeply as I grind down on his length, his hips surge upward, seemingly of their own volition as Christian moans against my mouth. His hands reach up and grasp my hips, holding me softly without trying to take control of the situation. I slowly circle my hips as I fractionally lift myself up, feeling every delicious inch of him on all sides before grinding down again. My hands find their way up into my hair, grabbing handfuls as my hips undulate, grinding back and forth slowly and I can't help but loose myself in the sensations that our combined bodies create.

"You're beautiful, you're everything Ana, everything." His hoarse voice tugs me back in the room, minimally lost to the ethereal plane that is our physical passion. I place my hands on his pectorals dragging my nails down his chest as I rise and fall onto his length, revelling in the harsh, tortured groan that comes from deep within his throat.

"Jesus Ana, fuck—baby." He groans, his voice husky, just as utterly consumed as I am. I take his hands, guide them to my breasts and lay mine over the top, both of us massaging and feeling. I toss my head back and I feel myself building, gaining momentum as my body coils tighter as curling warmth floats through my extremities. He lifts his head up, looking into my eyes as if to ask permission. A shuddering sob escapes me as I nod, overcome with fraught emotion. He immediately sits up; bring us nose to nose and chest to chest. His hands immediately wrap around my back, holding me tightly as he kisses every inch of my face and time has no concept or meaning in this moment.

"Christian, Uhhng." I mewl, gasping for breath as the pulling starts in my stomach and for the first time in a really long time I am afraid of my orgasm. I don't think I will be able to withstand its intensity

"Baby." He whispers, his forehead rests against mine as I feel him begin to grow harder inside me and I know it won't be long. I move faster, my elbows resting on his shoulders as my hands grab fistfuls of his hair as leverage. I feel his thighs tense, straining and quivering against the mounting sensations. I can't hold on any longer and I feel what has to be the most intense orgasm I have ever withstood begins to unfurl. Whispers of heat shiver up my spine as my whole body stiffens in what can only be described as the most pleasurable of agonies. Sunbursts and fireworks expand in my stomach and shoot down every single nerve in my body. Christian gasps, his breath catching in his throat as his face turns red, the vein in his forehead protruding with the strain. I hold onto him, running my fingers through his hair and kiss his lips as his hips thrust upwards faster and faster.

"Shh, relax—feel it Christian… feel me." I whisper, my body still tingling intensely.

"Fuck baby, fuck! Arghhhhhhh shit!" A tortured cry escapes him as he stiffens, his hips fire upwards with great speed and agility as he explodes inside me; feeling the hot lash of his passion fill me within. I squeeze my muscles, milking him, revelling in every shudder and impassioned cry.

Once he is released from the intense grip of his orgasm he collapses back into the mattress, taking me with him, never breaking our intimate connection. The only sound that permeates the air around us as I lie prone on his chest is our panting gasps for breath. After a while, he reaches over and grabs the comforter, he pulls up over our legs and waists, leaving my back bare as his fingertips begin to dance up and down my spine, relaxing me further as I listen to the reassuring, steady tattoo of my loves heart beating beneath my ear—and while still connected together, we fall into a blissful sleep.

* * *

_A/N: I dunno about anyone else but is it a little hot in here? I am having trouble sitting at the computer now so I apologize for the crappy update schedule. Sorry it's shorter than my usual but the sun is shining in Scotland people, I gotta take advantage while I can. It's almost 30 degrees. It's nuts. It's global warming, but who says we can't enjoy this before the big freeze lol! xo_

_Love & Laughs~~  
-S, xo_


	3. Needing to inform

I am taking a break from fanfiction. Something happened tonight on the FSOG facebook site and it's made me question my need to be a part of this place right now. Sharing a book was wrong and I understand that but when you have a premature infant in the hospital those types of situations don't seem to matter or rate highly in my list of priorities right now, maybe that's wrong also. I guess my head is messed up right now and I didn't think stuff through but it's too late now anyway.

In case any of you from the facebook group are reading this, I have called many of you friends for a while now and some of you will always remain in my heart. I have removed myself from the group and deleted my facebook account because I know for certain that I do not want to be a part of that place. I think the part that sickens me is I wasn't allowed to explain or defend myself because my explanation was deleted by moderators and I guess that's just the way things are.

I am quite upset right now and I don't know if or when I'll be back and I don't take that decision lightly. It's with a heavy heart that I write this and I apologize for any discomfort I've caused by this monumental fuckfest that happened tonight.

Friends, I will keep you in my heart and in CJ's, I'll tell him all about the craziness that was fun for such a major part of my fanfiction experience. I just wish that it hadn't ended this way.

With love and sadness,

S.


	4. Up all night

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

**Yes, this is a chapter, but read this first as it explains some confusion that you are all having about yesterday:**

_Hey awesome followers and friends. There seems to be some confusion as to why I decided to take a step back from FanFiction which has absolutely __**nothing **__to do with the __**guest reviewer **__all but demanding the chapter._

_The reason I left Facebook and almost the entire community was because I shared some ebooks with friends on Facebook which was wrong. WordRunner made a post regarding this and I understand that it was wrong and I am agreeing and owning up to my mistake._

_Part of the problem I am having with the whole hoopla is because one of the people (I say people like I sent out a hundred but in reality it was maybe 6 tops.) who received the books was also one of the first to agree with it being 'immoral' I think that is shocking and horrible especially when one jumps ship so quickly. Watch your backs girls because some people will stick the knife in as quickly as you can blink. I don't want to publicly call her out because that's not me but she knows who she is and as far as I'm concerned she isn't worth a second more of my time._

_I apologize for any confusion and I hope this author's note clears things up, as I said above my decision to leave the world of FanFiction __**wasn't**__ because of the petty guest reviewer demanded the third chapter. _

_After I calmed down and dried my tears, I sat down to reflect until my fiancé came home. I told him what happened and after he comforted me (and scolded me for being so affected by this) he asked if there was any way I would consider continuing to write Whole Again and post chapters without being involved in the social drama on Facebook. We talked and talked about it and he has encouraged me to continue the story but to stay away from the social media side of it._

_Plus, after reading all of your reviews, pm's and emails I've decided that genuine friends and readers don't deserve to be punished because of what happened. I was devastated that people I called friends acted this way. _

_For those of you, who are interested in CJ's progress, send me an email or pm and I'll take great enjoyment in telling you all about him and how wonderful he is._

_I hope this chapter makes up for your disappointment last night and cheers you up._

_Love  
S. xo_

* * *

A piercing wail pulls me from my slumber, I blink myself awake and realise that Christian must have rearranged us at some point. We are under the blankets, my back to his front, his legs are tangled with mine and I can feel his warm breath fan across my neck. I manage to unwrap my husband from my body without waking him and congratulate myself on that small victory.

_Yay-fucking-me, let's get the celebration banners out because that's such a wonderful accomplishment!_ My subconscious snarks as she rubs the sleep from her eyes with a scowl. Bitch.

I grab my robe and quickly shrug into it and pad down the hallway to comfort my son. I turn on the light using the dimmer to keep it at a low level.

"Oh dear little man, what's up huh?" I ask him as I lower the rail to his crib and scoop him up. His arms are flailing around, his face scrunched up and red with frustration. I grab one of his blankets and place it on the mattress of his crib before lying him down, I quickly swaddle him. Once his arms are secure, I tuck in the tail of the blanket and pick him up. I sit down on the glider and open my robe, quickly guiding him to my breast. His head turns quickly from side to side before he latches on and suckles. No more than a few minutes later he lets my nipple go and starts crying loudly.

I kiss his angry forehead, trying my best to soothe him. I feel his diaper and it doesn't seem to be expanded or wet to the touch but I'll change him just in case he is uncomfortable or the diaper is on too tightly. I take him over to the changing table and grabbing everything I need from underneath before lying him down. I unfasten his onesie and vest, quickly removing the diaper—which isn't that wet—and wipe his adorable little behind. I lift his legs using his ankles, quickly sliding the fresh one underneath and stick the two tabs down and refasten his clothing. His arms and legs are moving around as he cries his little face red with the strain of whatever is upsetting him. I pick him up and hold him against my chest as I slowly pace the room.

"Oh dear, dear me… it's okay baby, mommy's here, it's okay." I murmur to him softly with my lips resting on the side of his head, feeling the soft, clean scent of his baby hair. I try everything, bouncing him, rocking from side to side, pacing, swaddling him tightly, then proceed to burp him, hoping that he just has some gas but all to no avail—I just don't understand what's wrong with him.

"Shh Matty, come on, it's okay, it's okay. You have to calm down sweet boy, you're getting yourself all agitated and mommy is worried about you." I whisper, kissing his cheeks as he cries loudly. I am extremely worried as he has been crying for around two hours with absolutely no respite, surely he'll run out of steam soon… won't he? If he doesn't calm down in the next half hour I'm going to call Grace, something might be wrong and he could be in need of medical attention.

I rock him back and forth, then bend my little finger and allow him to suckle on my knuckle.

"Shh, that's it… there you go little man." His little eyes are fluttering closed but spring open in a fit of rage and he starts screaming again. I'm fast approaching my wits end, I have tended to his needs, there's no obvious sign of illness or pain yet he just keeps crying?

"Sweetie, please… shh, Matt… you're really starting to scare me." I lay him down and decide to check and see if he has any sort of rash, all the while begging anyone up there who could be listening, for me not to find anything. I'm just starting to check over his body when I hear Christian's sleep rasped voice.

"Baby, what's wrong with him?" He asks me, still half asleep and squinting at me in the low light. Shit, I forgot to silence the monitor, yet another of my failures this early morning.

_Well there sure is a shit-tonne of them anyway. _

"I don't know what's wrong with him Christian, it's been hours… he just won't stop crying—I can't get him to stop crying." I feel tears slip down my cheeks and I hurriedly brush them away while checking my son's skin. There's nothing visible so I refasten his onesie and try really hard not to break down.

"Ana… sweetheart, you're exhausted, go back to bed. I'll take him for a while." He comes over and wraps his arms around me, brushing his lips against my neck as I cry into his chest.

"I feel like a complete failure, why can't I soothe him?" I ask through my tears. Matthew's cries still echoing around the room.

"You aren't a failure, shh… maybe we should get my mom over to check him out, does he have a fever?" He asks as I pull away.

"No, he doesn't have a fever—I've tried everything, I've tried to nurse, I've changed him, I've rocked him, paced… nothing is working. I honestly don't think it's worth waking Grace up, for her to come over when there's nothing physically wrong with him. I just don't know what he wants, I'm his mother, I should know." Christian kisses me, looking into my eyes to reassure me before reaching over and lifts Matthew from the changing table, holds him against his chest, feeling his forehead to check for a fever while bouncing his knees slightly.

"Hey little man, you've got mommy all upset. What's the matter son, huh? Shh it's okay." Christian pats his diaper and walks around the room—which is having absolutely zero effect on our son.

"Christian, let me try to nurse again, maybe he's hungry now…" He kisses Matthew's temple and passes him over to me. I move over to the glider and sit down. I open my robe and guide Matt's mouth to my nipple; he latches on and begins to suckle hungrily. I breathe a sigh of relief at the suddenly noiseless environment.

_Oh little man you are stressing mommy out._

I stroke his cheek while he nurses, murmuring to him in a quiet voice—hoping and praying that he'll nurse then fall asleep. Less than five minutes pass before he starts crying again. I just don't know what the hell I'm doing wrong?

"Baby, do you think he could be hungry and just wanting to feed from a bottle, do you think it could be a touch of nipple confusion?" He asks me as he sits on the foot stool in front of the glider with his hands resting on my knees, his thumbs stroking rhythmically.

"I don't think so, I mean—he's been breast fed all day, apart from this morning—well yesterday morning—when Ava fed him, but at this point I'm willing to try anything."

"I'll go downstairs and get him a bottle, is there any of your milk in the fridge?" He asks me as he leans over and kisses away the tears that are falling from my cheeks. "Shh, baby—he'll be fine, you're an amazing mother." I nod as a sob escapes my throat and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand while Matty wriggles and kicks while he cries loudly.

"Yes, there's milk in the mini fridge in the pantry. You'll have to boil some water and pour it into a jug so you can warm the milk gently. There are clean bottles and teats in the sterilizer unit, which is right beside the mini fridge." I tell him while rocking our son in my arms. Christian stands up and kisses my forehead before leaving the room and closing the door, so that Matthew doesn't wake up his brother and sisters.

"Oh sweetie, it's okay… daddy is going to get you a bottle, is that what you want?" I kiss his forehead and hold him to my chest. His face nuzzles at my breast, so I try again to get him to latch on but he refuses again. I'm trying to think of what else he may want but my mind is exhausted and drawing a complete blank.

I decide to get up and change his diaper, hoping that by the time I'm finished, Christian will be back up here with his bottle.

"Let's get you cleaned up a little before daddy comes back." I may as well change his onesie since it's almost his usual time for waking up. I lay him down on the changing table and grab a blue and white striped footless onesie to change him into along with a short sleeved vest. I strip him completely, wiping his little body down while he wails and rediaper him. My robe falls open as I lift him up, I don't have enough hands to fix myself and hold him against my chest while I spread the onesie out on the changing table, so there's nothing I can do until I lay him back down. I'm just about to do so when I realise that the wailing cries have calmed to loud whimpering. I stand stock still for a few minutes, wondering what the hell it is that I've done to stop his crying.

"Shh sweetie, has all that crying made you tired now?" I kiss his temple as I hold him to my body, feeling his warm skin against my own.

_Oh, skin to skin contact—that's what he's wanted all this time?_

It must be, he's still whimpering but that's nothing compared to the throaty wails of before. After spending an entire night away from me and his daddy, then another night away from the only home he's known, it's only now obvious that he's seeking reassurance and comfort in the only way he knows how.

I kiss his temple as I grab a soft blanket and sit down in the glider. I place the blanket over his back, covering him to keep him warm while still maintaining our skin to skin contact. I rock back and forth with him and softly begin to sing.

_Baby mine, don't you cry.  
Baby mine, dry your eyes.  
Rest your head close to my heart,  
never to part,  
baby of mine._

His whimpers start to calm as I rub his back gently on top of the blanket. I kiss the side of his head and continue our song.

_Little one when you play,  
don't you mind what they say.  
Let those eyes sparkle and shine,  
never a tear,  
baby of mine._

He turns his head to the side as his eyes flutter softly like the gentle whisper of butterfly wings. He suckles on the back of his little infant hand gently, which is resting against my breast, leading me to believe that he is now ready to be fed.

_If they knew sweet little you,  
they'd end up loving you too.  
All those same people who scold you,  
what they'd give just for the right to hold you._

I catch some small movement out of the corner of my eye and look up to find my husband resting against the door frame with a soft expression on his handsome face, holding the warming bottle in his hands. I motion for him to come into the room.

_From your head down to your toes,  
you're not much, goodness knows.  
But you're so precious to me,  
sweet as can be,  
baby of mine._

I shift him in my arms so that I can offer him my nipple while maintaining our skin to skin contact. Thankfully he latches on and I finally feel my milk let down for him. As I rock back and forth while singing—even though I am exhausted—I can't help but be completely content in this moment.

_All those same people who scold you,  
what they'd give just for the right to hold you._

Christian plays with our son's feet while he feeds, intermittently kissing his little toes and my shoulder. His hand rests on Matt's back, holding and comforting him along with me.

_From your head down to your toes,  
you're not much, goodness knows.  
But you're so precious to me,  
sweet as can be,  
baby of mine.  
Baby of mine._

I look into Christian's eyes as Matthew's suckles begin to slow, he is looking at me with such tenderness that it almost moves me to tears.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" I ask him as he watches Matt nursing at my breast.

"I'm fine baby. What was that song you were singing?" He asks me as he plays with Matt's toes.

"It's called 'Baby mine' it's from Disney's Dumbo by Alison Krauss." I tell him, leaning over for another soft kiss.

"What calmed him down?" He asks me.

"I decided to change his diaper and onesie since it's almost time to get up. I stripped him and put a clean diaper on him and when I went to pick him up so I could spread out the clean onesie, my robe slipped open and I didn't have enough hands to fix it and hold him at the same time so I just had to hold him against my chest with nothing covering me and he stopped crying. I guess he just wanted some skin to skin contact with mommy." I say as I stare down at my sleeping baby who still has his little slack mouth around my nipple for comfort.

"Oh I can understand that little man, I happen to love skin to skin contact with your mommy too." Christian smirks at me with a cheeky expression. I can't help but chuckle quietly and shake my head. "Maybe he just needed to feel close to you baby, especially after spending his first night away from you and his home?" He offers while stroking Matt's legs gently, lulling his son into a deeper sleep.

"Is he still nursing baby?" He asks as he kisses my forehead.

"No, he's just using my nipple like a pacifier, just how Gracie and Olivia used to." I tell him with a giggle.

"Amen to that baby boy!" I giggle and shake my head as I nudge his shoulder. "Come on, let's lay him down in his crib and get you back to bed. You're exhausted baby."

"I'll need to put a onesie on him, which will probably wake him up." I tell him with a dejected frown, knowing that this peaceful quiet is going to be filled with Matthew Carrick Grey's cries once more.

"He'll be fine baby; I'll just swaddle him so he's snug as a bug in a rug." He kisses my forehead and lifts Matt from my chest. I instantly feel bereft of my baby boy and long to have him back in my arms. I have to admit, I will be completely useless if I don't get at least a few hours of sleep.

Matty starts to whimper as Christian holds him, but he sways and rocks until Matt calms back down. I spread out one of his soft swaddling blankets out on the changing table. Christian lays him on top, then quickly and efficiently wraps him up in a matter of seconds.

_Christian Grey, conqueror of panties, playrooms and all-knowing master of swaddling infants._

"I'm impressed daddy; that was very professional swaddling." I tell him and he smirks at me.

"You and that smart mouth Mrs. Grey, I have just the thing to fill it up you know." He tells me with a seductive edge to his voice. He rocks Matthew in his arms until he's sound asleep then gently lowers him into his crib, softly murmuring to him as he grunts as if he's complaining about being moved yet again, I can't help my laugh.

"That wasn't my smart mouth Mr. Grey, I was being sincere. Jeez, he's kept me awake all night, and yet he grunts and groans about getting gently lain in his comfortable crib." I shake my head as Christian pulls me into his arms and kisses me soundly on the lips.

"Let's get you to bed now Mrs. Grey before I start feeling you up in our sleeping son's nursery." He gives me his best pantie busting grin and I feel myself swoon.

_You're pathetic, get some will power you're supposed to be tired, yet you're ready to be ravished? _My subconscious tuts, but I ignore her—I'm getting quite good at that now.

_It's okay, I'll find some other way to gain back your attention!_

Christian takes my hand, leading me out of the nursery and into our bedroom. He slips his hands into my robe and pushes it over my shoulders, allowing it to fall to the floor before helping me into one of his already worn t-shirts; I can't help myself from inhaling his wonderful scent off of the soft fabric.

"So beautiful." He murmurs, lowering his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. He pulls back the covers and walks me backwards until the bed hits the back of my legs. His hands slide into my hair with his forehead resting against mine.

"You need to sleep baby." I pout and kiss his soft, sweet lips once more before I slip between the super soft sheets on our bed as Christian walks around to his side and join's me. His arm snakes around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. His leg nudges between my own and with his hand cupping my breast, I fall into an exhausted sleep.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

I wake up feeling refreshed after Matthews early morning meltdown. I note as I get out of bed, that it's just after 10AM, so I haven't really slept that late. With that thought prevalent in my mind I decide to step into a nice hot shower, scrubbing my body from head to toe while singing happily. I wrap my hair in a towel before moving over to the vanity to start my morning routine.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face, applied moisturizer then got myself dressed. I head downstairs, finding my husband sitting with Olivia on his lap on the floor surrounded by toys and Matthew lying in his bouncy chair beside his daddy.

"Good morning mommy." Christian says with a grin as he looks up at me.

"MAMA!" Olivia runs over to me and launches herself into my arms before peppering my face with sloppy kisses.

"Wow, someone's happy this morning. And good morning to you too daddy." I say while Liv giggles as I tickle her ribs. She's still in her pyjamas but she's happy playing with her daddy.

"Daaaadee, pway." She points a chubby—albeit sticky—finger at her father and giggles.

"Have you had fun with daddy and Matty this morning button?" I ask her as I take a seat on the sofa and sit Liv on my lap facing me while I hold onto her hands as a precaution stopping her from accidentally falling backwards onto the hardwood floors. I just sit back and start to relax when Matthew starts to cry, I sigh while inwardly hoping that Olivia doesn't feel like pitching a fit because I have to tend to her brother.

"Mat cwy… wan mama?" She taps my cheek and points to her little brother who is crying loudly then wiggles out of my lap and pulls on my hand for me to get up.

"Mat wan yumyum." She tells me as she valiantly tries to pull me off the sofa. I am in shock. Liv has always preferred to ignore his existence and distract me from paying any kind of attention to him.

"I think you're right button, I think Matty is hungry. Can you play with daddy while I feed him?" I ask her as I go down to her level and look into her clear and beautiful grey eyes.

"Me pway?" She nods as she asks me, as if answering the question for me herself. I can't help myself from snatching her into a hug while I kiss every inch of her face and neck, earning me giggles and wriggles.

"Oh no button, the tickle monster is gonna get you…" Christian lifts his hands and wiggles his fingers in a 'tickling' motion and Liv giggles her heart out as she tries to outrun her father, but he catches her, pins her to the floor and starts blowing raspberries on her cheeks and neck while simultaneously tickling her mercilessly.

I move over to Matthew and undo the harness of his bouncy chair and carefully lift him into my arms while maintaining support for his head. I kiss his soft baby skin while moving back towards the sofa and take my seat.

"You seem to be in a better mood this morning sweet boy. Did you keep Mama up all night? You did… let's see if you're hungry this morning." I lift my shirt and he immediately latches on and starts suckling. I stroke his little hand that is resting against my breast as I watch Christian and Liv play in the middle of the family room floor.

"Daaaa… noo ickle me." She manages to stutter out in between giggles.

"It's not me baby, it's the tickle monster and he's hungry for Livy's giggles." He tells her as he blows raspberries on her tummy and tickles her feet. "Ewww, you have stinky feet Livvy but I can't stop tickling them!"

"Oh mama, pee-pee!" She sits up and looks at me with a panicked expression. That's the first time she's actually asked. I can't believe it.

"It's okay baby, daddy will take you to the potty." I tell her with a reassuring smile as Christian jumps up and take's her hand with a massive grin that matches my own.

"Come on button, let's go pee-pee." Christian says as he leads her down the hallway to the bathroom where her potty is kept. I can't believe she just asked to go to the potty; she's only twenty-one months old! Ted didn't start asking to go until he was almost three, and it was about the same time with Gracie too.

I sit patiently waiting with Matthew, straining my ears to hear what's going on in the bathroom down the hall but I can't hear anything.

"I think your big sister Olivia is going to be the quickest out of diapers little man." I lean down and kiss his sweet baby forehead as he nurses noisily.

"Mama, poddy." She comes running into the family room excited and practically bouncing.

"Did you go to the potty big girl?" I ask her as I give her a one-armed hug while still holding onto a hungry Matthew with the other.

"She did mommy, our Livvy is such a big girl now." Christian says as he comes into the family room and swoops Olivia into his arms.

"Mama, Mat kisthes?"

"You can give Matthew a little kiss on his cheek, sweetie but you have to be careful okay?" I tell her as I run my hand through her chocolate curls.

"T'ay mama." She climbs up onto the sofa and puckers her lips before leaving a very gentle kiss on her little brother's forehead. I feel my eyes tearing up because it's the first time she's ever kissed him. I get a quick kiss from her before she climbs down and plonks herself down on the floor with her Sippy cup of apple juice as she watches whatever educational cartoon is on the TV.

Christian takes a seat beside me while I burp Matty. I rub and pat his delicate back until he gives up his wind rather adorably. I lay him down in his bouncy chair where he contentedly kicks his legs.

"I love you Mrs. Grey." He whispers, his tongue slipping forth to trace the shell of my ear.

"I love you too Mr. Grey." I kiss his soft lips with my fingers threaded into his soft, copper locks and sigh softly.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

"Mommy, when can Lexi come over? You said we could haved a sleep-over?" Gracie pouts up at me. I completely forgot about calling Diane.

"I'm sorry bug; I forgot to call Lexi's mommy. How about if I call her after dinner and we can set up a play date, Miss Diane and I will discuss the sleep over then, is that okay with you?" I ask her as she beams up at me, excitedly nodding her head.

"Take your backpacks upstairs and change out of your uniforms please. Do either of you have any homework?" I ask both Ted and Gracie.

"I have words to do mommy." Gracie tells me as she reaches into her backpack and hands over her homework folder to me.

"Okay we'll do this after dinner. What about you Teddy?"

"Um, I have a history worksheet and reading, can you help me with the worksheet?" Ted asks, I'm a little shocked since he so rarely asks for help.

"Sure buddy. Gracie, daddy will help you with your homework so I can help Ted okay?"

"Okay mommy. Can I go up to play in the den with the puppies?" Gracie asks with a big grin and I nod.

"Sure bug, make sure to take them out to go potty before you go upstairs with them." I tell her as I turn around to go into the kitchen, to make a start on dinner.

"Are you coming Ted?" Gracie asks her big brother.

"Sure. Let's go upstairs and get changed then we'll walk 'em around the garden before we go up to the den." I smile to myself as Ted takes his little sister's backpack as well as his own and the both of them head upstairs.

Christian is sitting in the family room with Olivia; Matthew is lying on an activity mat on the floor, looking up at the dangling toys above him as he chews on his fingers and kicks his legs.

"Sweetheart, will you help Gracie with her homework after dinner? It's just that Ted asked me for help with his history homework?" I ask him as I lean down and lay a kiss on his hair.

"Sure baby, I'll help Gracie. It isn't like Ted to ask for help so he must be really stuck."

"Thank you, I'm just going to get started on dinner, it should be ready in half an hour." I really enjoy cooking on the weekends since Gail is off and she won't let me cook if she's around.

"Hmm, what are we having?" He asks me as his stomach growls, causing Olivia to giggle.

"Are you laughing at Daddy, just you wait Livvy. I'll get you for that!" He grabs her onto his lap and starts to kiss all over her face while she valiantly tries to wriggle away unsuccessfully.

"I'm making warm chicken and feta-penne pasta salad with green beans tossed in red-wine vinegar and garlic dressing."

"Sounds delicious baby, when will it be ready, I'm famished?" He asks me with a cheeky smirk, letting me know that he's famished for something other than food. I shake my head and slap his shoulder as I turn to leave the room.

"Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. I'll give you a shout when it's done." I leave the family room and head into the kitchen. I go into the refrigerator and grab the tray of roasted chicken thighs, and set it aside on the counter while I gather everything I need from the vegetable drawer. I take out a bag of green beans, one red onion, a bag of baby spinach and two sweet bell peppers.

Just at that, Ted and Gracie come into the kitchen with both dogs in their harnesses and leashes. Teddy is walking Trix and Gracie has Yoda.

"Wait up guys; I need to get some fresh herbs from the vegetable patch so I'll walk you out." I wash and dry my hands before taking Gracie's free hand as we head out to our expansive garden. One of the things I love about this house is my vegetable patch. There's nothing like cooking with fresh, home-grown ingredients.

Ted sighs as he walks with a slight frown marring his face.

"What's up buddy, you don't seem like yourself?" I ask him as we walk slowly towards the section of the garden that's fenced off for me to take care of and grow my own veggies, herbs and pretty flowers. There's a gorgeous irregular shaped cobble stone pathway leading to a gazebo that's placed in the middle of the space. There are six built up boxes that contain the correct layers for growing the best possible vegetables. Gracie loves coming out here and helping me in the summer time. The majority of the fruits and vegetables are out of season but the herbs are still thriving.

The main reason I started this garden was for something that Gracie, Olivia, Gail and I could share and do together. The fence also keeps the dogs out which is handy.

"Nothing's wrong mom. It's just… ah never mind." He shakes his head and turns his face to look the other way so that I can't see his expression.

"Gracie, can you give me a second with your brother. Go up to the vegetable garden and wait for us there okay?"

"Okay mommy." She takes off with Yoda and Trix whines impatiently.

"Something's obviously wrong with you Ted; you know what I always say to dad right?" I ask him as I gently grasp his chin and turn his face to look at me.

"A problem shared is a problem halved." He sighs and kicks the toe of his sneaker into the grass. "Mom, at school today the teacher told us that since we're in fifth grade we have to ask one of the girls to be our date for the dance. I don't want to ask one of the girls, what if she says no? I'll be so embarrassed!" He tips his head back to look up at the sky and groans. I can't help but giggle a little, he's one of the most handsome boys in his grade, he really has nothing to worry about—I suppose I may be bias but he is his father's son and is adorably handsome.

"Teddy, don't worry buddy, whichever girl you ask, I'm sure she'll say yes. You'll never know unless you try."

"Mom, what do I even say? It's a stupid dance!"

"Why don't you talk to dad tonight, I'm sure he'll be able to give you some tips and advice on asking a girl out than I could. It's only one dance, I'm sure you'll have fun. Just don't worry about it, you still have plenty of time left before the dance okay?"

"Okay." He sighs and starts walking with me and soon we catch up to Gracie who is not-so-patiently waiting on us.

"Whatcha picking mommy?" Gracie asks as she hands over Yoda's leash to Teddy. She grabs the bottle of hand sanitizer that is on the table in the gazebo to clean her hands before she touches any of the plants.

"We need some sprigs of flat-leaf parsley, and some basil. Can you show me which ones we need?" She goes over and points to the parsley then moves over to the basil. I give her a high five since she got them both right. She holds the bowl for me while I tear off some basil and parsley. Once we're done, we leave the vegetable garden and I make sure to lock the bolt on the gate.

Ted and Gracie continue to walk the dogs around to the playground Christian, Elliot and Ethan built when Gracie was born. The reason they ended up building it was because Ted asked his father if he would take him to the park, thus he had a park playground built at home. I shake my head and smirk at the memory of the argument _that _caused and head back to the house.

As soon as I go into the kitchen I turn the oven on to heat up. Next, I head into the pantry and grab a packet of penne pasta tubes and four large jacket potatoes. I place the pasta and potatoes beside the stove while I fill up a pan with water and put it on to boil, adding a small pinch of salt and pepper before turning up the heat. I quickly measure out four cups of pasta and set it aside, then return the bag to the pantry.

I get kitchen foil out and place it beside me while I thoroughly wash the potatoes. Once I'm done I use a fork to pierce the skin before wrapping each one in foil, then put them in the oven to cook.

I take the bell peppers and grab a chopping board and knife. I cut the tops off the peppers, I run my knife around the inside to loosen the seeds before scraping them out with a spoon then cut them into inch long pieces. I get my grill pan and add some olive oil setting it onto a medium heat to warm up. Once the pan and oil are hot, I set the heat to medium and add the peppers.

I take the chicken thighs and pull the juicy, moist meat off the bone and into a bowl; I grab two forks and shred the chicken before placing it to one side. I roughly chop the red onion into small pieces, doing the same with the parsley and basil and add the ingredients into the grill pan to slowly sweat. I add the penne pasta to the salted water as it is now boiling; setting the timer for ten minutes. I grab my tongs, tossing the veggies that are in the grill pan making sure they're cooking nicely.

After the timer goes off I add the chicken to the grill pan and add the green beans to the boiling pasta to cook. I reset the timer for five minutes so that the beans still have a little bite whereas the pasta will be squishy because that's how the kids like it.

I take a small glass bowl and whisk to make the dressing. I measure out two tablespoons of extra-virgin olive oil, two tablespoons of red wine vinegar, one tablespoon of cold water, a small pinch of salt and pepper and a half teaspoon of minced garlic and whisk briskly. Just as I finish the dressing, the timer goes off so I get the colander and drain off the beans and pasta and add to a large, glass serving bowl. I use my tongs to toss the chicken and veggies that are in the grill pan, making sure they're cooked thoroughly while maintaining a little crunch. I turn off the gas and transfer the contents of the grill pan into the bowl with the pasta and beans using the tongs. I grab the bag of spinach, emptying it into the colander and rinse it under the cold water tap. Once it's washed I shake off the excess water and add it to the bowl.

I take some fresh tomatoes and spring onions from the refrigerator roughly chopping them and add it to the salad. I pour the dressing into the bowl and use my tongs to toss the salad, coating the pasta and beans with the dressing and natural juices from the veggies and chicken.

I set out the placemats, forks and knifes onto the table, along with cups of milk for the kids, soda and lime for me and a glass of chilled Prosecco for Christian.

I remove the baked potatoes from the oven and set them onto the plates, cutting across them and pulling the soft fluffy flesh from the skin, then add a dollop of butter to each. I open the block of feta cheese and cut it into large chunks, crumbling it over the top of the salad and set it in the middle of the table with large serving spoons. I sigh, realizing it's now feeding time at the zoo.

I go into the family room where Christian is sitting with the kids watching cartoons. He's worse than them sometimes.

"Dinner's ready guys, go wash up." I tell them and go back into the kitchen to soak the pots and pans that I've used for dinner since they'll be easier to clean after we eat. I just take my seat after plating up for the kids when they file into the kitchen with Christian.

"Mmm, it smells delicious." He kisses my cheek then lifts Olivia into her high chair. Matthew is sleeping in his bassinette in the living room, so we should be able to eat before he wakes up and demands his dinner. I put Olivia's bowl in front of her with a plastic fork which I know she won't use.

"My Yum yum mama." She points to the bowl of squashed, buttery baked potato and chicken pasta salad that's sitting in front of her and automatically places her whole hand into the bowl and squishes the food between her fingers before popping her hand in her mouth and sucks the food off. It's disgusting but at least she's eating.

"Olivia, use your fork baby." I gather some of her meal onto the fork and bring it to her mouth so she can eat properly. "Is it good button?" I ask her and she nods during her 'mmm' sounds. I pause in feeding my toddler to take a bite of my own meal and it does taste delicious.

"Mommy, can I go out to play after dinner?" Gracie asks. She has obviously forgotten that she has homework.

"You can't straight after dinner sweets. You have your homework remember?" I remind her.

"Aw drat. I forgotted about that. Well… what about after?" She asks while fluttering her pretty lashes at me and I can't hide my smile.

_So tenacious._

"We'll see, it depends on when you finish your homework. Now less talking, more eating." Christian tells her and automatically she rolls her eyes.

"Yes daddy." She responds with a sigh.

After dinner, Teddy and Gracie clear away the plates into the dishwasher while I was the pots and pans.

"Is daddy helpin' me with my homework or are you mommy?" She asks me as she pops the last fork into the cutlery tray. The main reason Gracie helps Ted clear up now is because when she first started at Kindergarten, her homework assignment was to do chore's to help with organizational skills. She's been helping ever since.

"Daddy's going to help you bug. I'm going to help Ted tonight. Are you okay with that?" I ask her, crouching down in front of her and give her a quick kiss.

"Yeah mommy, will you remembered to not forget to call Lexi's mommy?"

"I pinkie swear that as soon as I've finished cleaning the kitchen, I will call Lexi's mommy. " I wiggle my pinkie in front of her earning me a giggle then she joins her pinkie to mine and gives me a kiss to lock the promise.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

After dinner, I make a quick call to Diane Foster, who is the mother of Gracie's friend Lexi. We've arranged a play date for the girls next week. Gracie is bouncing with excitement about the whole thing. Right now she's upstairs with Christian doing her words homework and I'm just about to sit down and help Teddy with his.

"Are you ready buddy?" I ask him as I go into the family room. He's sitting in front of Matthew's bouncy chair talking to him and tickling his tummy.

"Yep, we'll continue this chat later little dude." Ted kisses Matt on the forehead then lifts his little baby hand and bumps fists with him. He slides his little behind over to where I am sitting with his worksheet in hand. I take it from him and skim over it quickly, trying to figure out what we're working with.

"So, explain what we've to do and what you want help with Ted?" I pass it back over to him, determined to help, but not to do the work for him.

"Well you've to match the person to the facts mom. See, it says 'Match each historical event with the person (or people) who accomp-accomplished them. These are the names we have to match to the events: Andrew Jackson, John C. Calhoun, Henry Clay, James Monroe, Sacagawea, Thomas Jefferson and Lewis and Clark." He tells me as he lays the sheet down on the coffee table, grabbing a pencil and eraser. I move from my position on the sofa, to join him on the floor and take a look at the sheet.

"Do you want me to read out the questions and you can write down your answer? Do we need to do research or should you know all this from class?" I ask him as I push his wayward hair out of his eyes. He really needs a haircut, and so do the girls and I.

_File that under URGENT! _Okay, noted. Bitch!

"You can read it out to me, and we're doing this big history project and the teacher said we should know the answers but if we couldn't remember some of the answers we were to ask for help to do research on the computer."

"Okay well let's see what you can answer and any questions you can't, we can do research. Does that sound like a plan?" I ask him and he gives me the patented Christian T. Grey nod. I lean over to see the question and we get to work.

"Who signed into the law the Indian Removal Act of 1830 which allowed the purchase of Indian tribal lands in the East while relocating those living on the lands to the west?"

"Andrew Jackson, mom?" Ted answers then writes it down upon receiving my conformation that he was right.

"She worked as an interpreter and a guide to the Lewis and Clark Expedition and is credited with the success of the expedition?"

"That's an easy one, Sacagawea." He answers with certainty. We continue on with the rest of the worksheet and finish it without needing to consult the interwebs.

"Mommy, we're finished our words." Christian says as he carries Gracie and Olivia into the family room, both of them hanging around his neck. He's such an amazing and attentive father. He adores our children, and they adore him.

"You did, well done bug." She sits herself in my lap and gives me a kiss.

"Mommy, I'm so exciteded about Lexi coming over. I can't wait, we're gonna have so much fun. Can we play in the playground? Oh can we bake cookies? What about if we take the puppies for a walk? Ooh and we can play with my dollies. Do you think she'd like to color, we have lots of color stuff, oh and we have glitter, lots and lots of glitter?" My head is spinning with her questions; I can't even remember two of the varied activities she just suggested. I decide to go with a _mommy _favourite answer.

"We'll see." I tell her with a kiss to her hair "You'll have fun no matter what you do with your friend though okay. It's half an hour before bed bug, so go run off some energy with the puppies." She hops off my lap and trots off to find the dogs.

"Oh boy, does she have a friend coming over mom? If she does can I be somewhere else, I don't want to be boy napped and forced to endure 'Teddy make-over!' ever again. Ever. She lured me with candy once, but I won't be falling for it ever again, like ever." Christian and I can't help but laugh at the utterly terrified expression our son has on his adorable face.

"Don't worry son, I'll protect you from girls until you decide you don't want protected anymore." Christian tells him as he switches it over to catch Simpsons reruns. Ten minutes into the first episode of the show, Matthew starts crying loudly. I pick him up, intent on changing his diaper but he nuzzles at my breast so I know he's hungry. I rock him a little, as I leave the family room then remember that I need to tell Christian about Ted's fear of asking a girl to the dance.

"Christian, can you come here for a second?" I say as I pop my head back through the door. A few moments later Christian joins me in the hallway. I pull him into the kitchen; I don't want Ted to hear me telling his dad about his little problem.

"What's up is everything alright with Matthew?" He asks, momentarily panicking as he starts to check Matthew over while still in my arms.

"He's fine, it's just… when I was out back with the kids earlier Ted looked upset and when I asked him about it, he said it was nothing but he eventually told me that his teacher told all the boys in his class that they need to ask a girl to accompany them to their 5th Grade dance. He's worried that whichever girl he asks will say no, and he'll be embarrassed and made fun of. I said he should talk to you."

"Shit. I don't know shit about asking girls out… I asked you, but I had you at hello." He smirks at me and I slap his chest as Matthew fusses in my arms.

"Just reassure him that it'll be fine. Guy talk your way through the conversation!" I say with a snigger.

"Guy talk Ana?" He says with a raised brow and a smirk playing at his delectable mouth.

"Okay fine, I'll say it... you need to bullshit your way through it!" I tell him with a straight face.

"Oh so when guys talk to each other, they're bullshitting?"

"Yep, pretty much. Now, excuse me while I go feed our son. I love you." I lay a smacking kiss on his pout and go upstairs to feed Matthew.

"My palm is twitching Mrs. Grey!" He tells me as I walk upstairs; I turn my head so that I can see him with his gorgeous smirk.

"I count on it Mr. Grey." I say with a giggle.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

"Goodnight sweet boy, mommy loves you so, so much." I kiss his soft forehead and lay him down in his crib before tucking him in. He whimpers a little but I just rest my hand on his tummy until he calms. I check my watch and realise it's just passed Olivia and Gracie's bedtime. I grab Matthew's monitor as I leave his nursery.

I go back downstairs to the family room; Christian is sitting next to Teddy with Olivia in his lap almost asleep as she sucks her thumb.

"Are you sleepy princess?" He asks her and she nods tiredly.

"Do you want to go up to bed with mommy?" I ask.

"Uh huh. Mama." She holds her arms out and I pick her up, holding her close to my chest. She must be really tired because she immediately rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes as her breathing deepens. Christian stands up and kisses her chubby cheek.

"Goodnight Olivia, I love you princess." He kisses Liv's forehead twice before sitting back down with Ted to watch the rest of their cartoons.

"Try and stay awake for me Liv, we need to get your pyjama's on." I bounce the arm that's holding her which makes her whine and cry as she rubs her eyes with her clenched fists

"No, mama." She says as she cries, then nods off once more.

"Stay awake baby girl, we're almost there. Did you have fun with daddy downstairs?" I ask her, making an effort to put excitement into the tone of my voice.

"Uh-uh, daddy." She points back towards the stairs, where she knows Christian is sitting. We get into her room and I plop her down on her overstuffed armchair while I grab a set of footed princess pyjamas, a pull-up diaper. I quickly strip her and she holds onto me as she steps into her pull-ups, she's absolutely exhausted as I help her into her pyjamas. We go into the bathroom and I brush her teeth, holding her up at the sink so she can spit out the frothy bubble gum flavoured toothpaste like a big girl. Once we're all ready for bed, I take a seat on the armchair with her in my arms, all snuggled up with her blankie. It doesn't take long for her to fall into a sound sleep as I rhythmically run my hand through her curls. When I'm sure she's sound, I lay her down in her crib and tuck her in with a kiss on the forehead. I switch on her monitor then take its twin from the nightstand.

"Sweet dreams baby girl. I love you." I turn off her lamp, leaving her nightlight on as I creep from the room. I head to Gracie's bedroom next to get her ready for bed. Thinking about it, she's been pretty quiet for the last while, usually she bounces around up here like a baby elephant. I open her bedroom door and find her sound asleep underneath the covers with both puppies snuggled around her. I pull back her comforter to find that she's even got into her pyjamas by herself. I pop my head into her bathroom and judging by the mess of toothpaste at the sink, I'd say she completed her bedtime routine without me; which kind of makes me a little sad. Her bedside lamp is switched to the lowest setting so I shut it off completely and tuck her in, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"You are growing up so fast, sweet dreams baby bug. I love you." I say as I kiss her temple. Now, what to do about the puppies? I suppose there's no harm in them sleeping in here with her since they're both completely toilet trained now. I decide to just let them stay with her, opting to leave her bedroom door open a little just in case they want to go downstairs to their own beds.

As I turn to go downstairs, Christian comes out of Teddy's bedroom.

"Goodnight son, I love you and remember what I said, you'll be fine. I'll see you in the morning." I peck Christian on the lips as I reach Ted's room.

"Baby, I'm just going to shut everything off downstairs then we'll head to bed okay?" Christian murmurs into my neck, his warm breath fluttering against my skin as his hands slide over my behind, leaving me dizzy and breathless.

"Have sweet dreams Teddy-bear. Did your dad help you out about asking a girl to the dance?" I ask him as I push his curls off his forehead.

"Yeah, we talked about stuff." He tells me with a smirk.

"Well I'm glad, goodnight and I love you so much." I kiss his forehead with a smile.

"Night mom, I love you too." He turns onto his side and snuggles into the covers. Just as I get up Trix comes prancing into Ted's room and jumps up on his bed and starts scraping at his covers.

"Hey Trix, what are 'ya doing up here?" He asks her as he scratches behind her pointy ears.

"The puppies fell asleep in Gracie's bed, she obviously wants to sleep beside you but if you don't want her to, I'll take her downstairs." I tell him as I pet Trix.

"She can stay, night mom." He lifts up his duvet and Trix immediately sides herself underneath and snuggles into the crook of Ted's legs.

"Night sweetie." I close his door and go into the bedroom. It's been a heck of a long day and I'm in dire need of some relaxation right now.

"Mmm, you smell divine Mrs. Grey. Why don't we take a nice, long soak in the tub and maybe a quick fuck while we're in there and then, I'll wrap you in my arms and kiss you're beautifully soft skin until we fall asleep.

"That sounds like a wonderful plan Mr. Grey." I stand on my tip-toes and wind my arms around his neck as I kiss his beautiful mouth.

"Just you relax right here, I'm going to get the water running." He tells me as he moves towards the bathroom. He tugs his shirt off as he goes, giving me a wonderful show of his sculpted back. I feel my eyes starting to flutter closed and the next thing I know, Christian's nose is nuzzling into my neck and he's whispering in my ear.

"Baby… the bath is ready if you want to join me, if you're too tired then just sleep." I sigh softly and snuggle deeper into his hold.

"I'm awake; I must have dozed off for a few minutes. Let's go have our bath." He pulls back from me and cups my face in his hands before lowering his mouth to mine.

* * *

_I hope this finds you well, please review and tell me what you think :)_

_S, xo_


	5. Unexpected

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

* * *

I step out of the bath and grab a fluffy towel and secure it around my hips before grabbing another and holding out my hand for my wife, she is known for her clumsiness after all.

"Come, I don't want you to catch a cold." She steps out of the water and I wrap her up in the warmth of the towel before kissing her lips lightly. She tries to deepen the kiss and groans in protest when I take a step back.

"Ana, you fell asleep against my chest while we were in the bath. I think it's safe to say that you're in need of a good night's sleep." I smirk as I kiss the tip of her nose.

"But I want you, and you know what helps me sleep… satisfaction of my deepest desires." She flutters her lashes up at me and I can feel my resolve weakening just as a yawn breaks from her throat and my mind is made up.

"You are temptation incarnate. Bed, _for sleep._" I glare pointedly at her; she needs rest.

"Okay, I suppose I am a little tired." She giggles as she reaches up on her tip-toes and places the sweetest of kisses upon my lips. I grab a pair of pyjama pants from the dresser and lift one of my shirts for Ana. I throw her the shirt which she slips on after flaunting her beautiful naked body in front of me in an attempt to get me to bend to her will.

_Sorry baby, you're tired and need your rest._

Once I've gotten into my pyjama pants I toss back the covers and we both get into bed. Ana instinctively turns away from me before shuffling back until she is resting against my chest. I wrap my arms around her and thread my leg between hers.

"Goodnight baby, I love you." I whisper against her neck with a kiss, feeling her warmth surround me.

"Night sweetheart, I love you too." Ana whispers, her voice low as sleep begins to take over. I pull her deeper into my hold, my eyes closing automatically as I slip into a blissful sleep.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

I snuggle into the warmth of my wife's sleeping body and groan at the thought of having to get up and go into the office. It's been a wonderful six weeks of bliss, sure I had the occasional meeting and a few hours here and there during my break, but this will be the first full day I'll be spending without them. Ana and the kids seem to have this natural ability to make any stress or worries melt away into nothingness, work doesn't seem to have the appeal it used to have; it doesn't captivate my attention anymore.

I sigh knowing that if I don't get my ass out of bed right this second, I'll roll over and go back to sleep, opting to spend the day hanging out with Ana and our children. I lean over and lightly take Ana's long hair into my fist, moving it to one side while I pepper her neck with kisses. She sighs contentedly in her sleep and I can't help my smile.

"I'm going to miss you today baby." I whisper against her soft skin, leaving one last kiss before I toss the covers back and sit up, groaning as I do so. Fuck, old age doesn't come itself.

_That's right old man, you'll be forty soon!_

I try to shake that awful thought as I pad into the en suite, quickly flicking the shower on and strip off my pyjama pants. I run my hand under the spray, making sure it isn't too hot and step under. I reach out for the body wash and rub the foamy lather all over my body. I can't help but think of Ana as my hand skims my stomach. Her beauty is unparalleled, just the mere thought of those pouty lips opening up and stretching around me sends sparks of dire need directly to my length, causing it to stiffen and beg for my wife. I sigh as my hand wraps around my dick, roughly pumping up and down as I imagine slipping in and out of Ana's hot little mouth. I thrust wildly into my hand, I'm just about to explode when I hear Ana step into the shower beside me. My eyes spring open and scan from her head down to her toes and back again as I harden even more.

"I woke up when you were kissing my neck and then you were gone and I heard the shower start and I figured I'd join you…" She whispers looking up at me through her lashes. She trails her knuckle down my happy trail and I can't stop my stomach muscles from quivering at her touch. I'm just about to reach for her when she comes closer and kisses my neck, her tongue skimming along my skin causing me to shiver and flex my hips, hoping for some friction. "When I came into the bathroom, I saw you standing here, naked and wet and soapy… touching yourself, I just had to watch you until I just couldn't take it anymore." She takes my earlobe between her teeth and bites down hard, a forceful hiss escapes me as I pull her closer and grind my hips into hers.

"So sexy, fuck I need you!" I growl as I flex my hands around the globes of her ass. I push her back into the tiled wall and nudge her legs open with my knee. I cup her beautiful breasts and bury my face between them, griping and feeling and wanting nothing but her.

"Christian, let me take care of you." She whispers and threads her fingers into my hair before pulling my mouth to hers. Her tongue glides along my bottom lip, pushing and pressing for entrance which I grant, needing and craving her unique taste. We part only when we're gasping for breath; her lips move along my jaw, her tongue travels down my neck then licks and nips at my collar bone. She reverses our position so that I am standing against the wall, thankfully so because at this point I need it for balance.

"Jesus baby!" I groan as she lowers herself onto her knees and lashes her tongue along the cut lines of my abs. She kisses, nips and sucks from hip bone to hip bone and I'm ready to fucking beg her to touch my dick, he's purple and bulging and wants Ana's sexy wet folds all around him, and frankly so do I.

"Ana… fuck I need you, please?!" I look down into those gorgeous blue eyes, which are sparkling with mischief.

"Hmm, I do love it when you beg." Her fingertips skim up my legs until she wraps her arms around my thighs, her fingertips tickling and sending wisps of desire straight to my length. I groan and let my head hit the tiled wall when she wraps her delicate, soft hand around my shaft and pumps slowly up and down.

"Yesss… touch me Ana, make me come!" I feel her warm breath hitting the wet skin of my groin as she tortures me in the most delicious way. Her hand works faster and faster and I'm almost over the edge when she lets go of me and I growl in protest.

"Shh, it's okay Christian… I'm going to take care of you. I just don't want this little party to be over yet." She murmurs as she kisses and licks along the 'v' lines of my groin, her fingernails lightly graze my thighs, causing me to tingle all over. She's so close to where I want and need her to be, yet so far.

"Oh baby!" I whimper when her mouth closes around the tip of my solid length, her tongue twirls around and around while she sucks gently. She peaks up at me through heavy lids and my hands can't help but slide into her wet hair, holding her steady as I slowly rock in and out of her sweet, fuckable mouth.

"Yeah, that's it baby, take all of me!" I growl as my thrusts gain speed and strength, I start feel that familiar tugging sensation down deep and I know I'm going to come hard so I quickly pull out of my wife's wonderful mouth before I shoot my load. I grab her and pull her up before pressing her up against the wall kissing, nipping and sucking my way across her throat.

"Your mouth, fuck baby… it should be illegal." My teeth graze that soft curve between her neck and shoulder and a harsh hiss escapes me when she drags her long fingernails down my back.

_Fucking deliciously illegal, someone should call the cops 'cause I'll be guilty as charged!_

"Mmm Christian… I need you to fuck me hard, what do you think about that?" She asks me and turns to face the shower wall, she braces her hands against the slick tiles, shifts to widen her stance, her perfect ass sticking out and pressing against me. I can't help but lean forward and place sucking kisses across her back while my hands snake their way around to her breasts. I pull and pluck at her taut nipples as I grind my hardened length against the soft place between her luscious legs. She mewls and moans then tosses her head back, the torrent of water raining down on us just makes our skin all the more sensitive to each other's touch.

"Hmm, fuck baby… so sexy, so hot. Are you wet and ready for me?" I ask her as my palms make circles on her slippery ass.

"Yes… so wet Christian… oh please!" Her voice is low and lustful, which is turning me on even more.

"I think this sexy ass needs to be a little pink before I give you what you want… don't you?"

"Yes… please!" She whimpers and I know all it'll take is a slap on each ass cheek, one low slap to her pretty little clit and a single thrust for her to come like a freight train.

"This ass baby… mmm, it's begging to be spanked. Are you ready, I want you to count then I'll fuck you so hard… can you do that for me?" I ask her, and I know she can feel the shit-eating smirk I have on my face right now.

"Yes, yes I can, please?!" Her arms are extended up high with her forehead pressed against the slick tiles. I take her hips and pull her back a little so that her ass is sticking out further. I warm up her cheeks, rubbing in soft, smooth circles. She is breathing hard as the anticipation rises and rises and when I'm sure she can't take any more waiting I land a ringing smack on her left cheek, the fact that her ass and my hand are wet increases the sensation and level of pain she's feeling. Ana's gasp turns into a throaty moan midway.

"One!" She whispers, lost in the sea of sensation.0

"So sexy Mrs. Grey." I lean over her, placing kisses on her shoulder blades and like lightning I strike her right butt cheek when she least expected, she gasps as the sting spreads and bucks her hips back towards me, seeking some sort of friction.

"Two, oh fuck!" She whimpers as I rub both of her cheeks, soothing the sting she's feeling. I lean down and place a kiss in the center of each pink handprint, my tongue tracing small circles on the heated marks.

"Hmm, I think I should see if you're as wet as you claim." I murmur, as I place my hand between her legs. I can't mask the strangled groan that escapes me. "So fucking wet! God, you're saturated… getting spanked really turns you on Mrs. Grey, doesn't it?" I rub her for a few moments then my hand leaves her and returns with a sharp smack on her swollen clit.

"Arrgh shit… three." She writhe's her ass against me, pressing against all the right places. I lean over and grab her hair in my fist and tug until she straightens and lifts her head.

"What is it baby, what do you need?" I ask her, nipping at her neck, making my way to that special sweet spot behind her ear and leave a long sucking kiss, licking circles with the tip of my tongue which leaves her panting and wanting more.

"You, I need you Christian please!" She gasps as she presses her hands against the tiles with such force that her fingertips are white, she's wound so tightly.

"Shh, relax baby… I'm going to take such good care of you, you'll come and come and come until you don't know which way is up." I whisper into her ear, briefly biting down on the fleshy lobe. One by one she releases the pressure in her fingers and eases herself back into my hold.

"That's it sweet girl, you'll feel so good baby, so, so good... just breathe, slow and deep." I murmur as I run my length through her soaking folds, coating myself in her arousal. I position myself at her slick entrance, and snake my hands around her to cup both of her breasts, and as I trail my fingertips around her needy aching peaks and as soon as I thrust inside her and pinch her nipples hard.

"Ughhhhhhh Christiaaaaan!" She gasps as she comes and comes and comes, just as I said she would, clenching around my shaft so tightly I almost come instantly myself.

"That's it baby, squeeze me tight, fuck… so good." I groan as I slowly pull out and thrust back into her core, which is still clenching around me. She shivers and moans in delight as I leave sucking kisses around her neck and shoulder. I bite down on her earlobe as I rear back and start a punishing rhythm.

"Christian… oh god, I want to see you, please… I need to see your eyes." She whimpers as she rests her head back against my shoulder. I kiss her hair before I pull out and while she turns around to face me; my hand automatically starts to pump up and down my shaft, which is still slick with her juices. Her mouth pops open and she licks her lips, her eyes focused solely on what's standing proud between my hips.

"Do you want me to make you feel good baby?" I ask her as I pin her against the shower wall with said hips, my aching length presses against her belly and I can't stop myself from rubbing up against her. She winds her arms around my neck and hoists herself around me, her legs crossing behind me, digging into my ass with her soft, breathy voice hitting against the shell of my ear, she whispers.

"I'm going to make you feel so good baby… and all you'll be able to think about, behind your powerful desk in your office is how hard we fucked this morning and how wet, and hot I felt clenching around you. I want you Mr. Grey; I need you to fill me sweetheart… I'm aching for you." Her tongue traces around the shell of my ear and I feel all the muscles in my stomach clench, my dick is weeping for my dirty-mouthed wife. I position myself at her entrance and madly thrust back into her, pummelling her hard.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck baby! Oh so good, so fucking good. Ana… ughh…" I pant as she digs her nails into my back and bites down on my shoulder.

"Christian…" She whimpers, her lips trailing up and down my neck as I buck into her with abandon.

"Oh shit, baby… mark me, talk to me, tell me how much you love my dick filling you, let me hear that filthy mouth of yours." I grunt, my hips rocking into hers faster and faster, and she meets my every thrust.

"You know how much I love it, you fill me so good, so deep, you fuck me hard when I need it and soft when I can't take anymore… you know my every need before I do. Can you feel me; can you feel me squeeze you from within?" She asks as her sex clenches around mine. I rest my head against her chest and take her stiff nipple into my mouth, sucking and biting down on it, hard.

"Do you like it when I suck on your pretty little pink nipples baby?"

"Oh god… Christian. So good." She mewls, her thrusts meeting mine with just as much force, if not more. I roll my hips so that she can feel me on all sides, clenching around me, greedily taking me in so deep.

"Fuck, baby I'm close!" I groan, hitting that special spot that's nestled deep inside her silky core. Her head falls back against the tiles, her mouth slack in a silent 'ahh'. I palm her breast, squeezing and kneading while my mouth licks and sucks at her delicious neck.

_Fuck Grey… you've turned into a prissy vampire!_

I roll my hips against hers, moving faster and faster… fuck it feels so good. Ana lifts her head and grabs onto my hair, pulling me towards her hungry mouth.

"Oh god… Christian, please?" She whimpers, she is so close, I feel her fluttering around me and I know she's going to come so fucking hard.

"Baby, I want you to reach down and touch yourself; I want to watch you… can you show me beautiful?" I whisper, my breath hitting her ear as I slide in and out of her wet heat. I watch her avidly as her small, soft hand skims over her breast, briefly pinching her nipple until it's long and hard.

"Fuck yes. So good, so beautiful… more baby, more!" I murmur against her neck. I pull back a little as her hand skims over her belly and reaches her slick center. She rubs herself with two fingers and moans loudly as I increase our pace. I grunt and gasp when she pulls that move, the one where she reaches back with her other three fingers and grips my dick as it slides in and out of her slick center.

"Oh fuck baby… you feel so good. Are you ready sweet girl, can you come for me?" I ask her as my mouth travels from her neck, up and over her chin until I reach her luscious lips.

"Ugh, harder Christian… I'm—oh—I'm almost… there. Shit baby, so… so… good. Oh god!" She mewls, her head falling back against the tile wall as she comes hotly and wetly around me. Her core grips onto my dick in waves, squeezing me tightly as I pump into her, faster and faster until that feeling starts in my balls. I feel the pressure mount until it's almost painful.

"Fuck… oh Ana, baby… yes! Oh you feel so good, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck!" I growl as I explode inside my delicious wife, holding her still while I empty myself inside her. I worship her with my lips and tongue, grunting out every second of the debilitating pleasure we've just experienced. We pause to catch our breath, I bury my face into her neck as I pant, still pulsing inside her as her greedy core milks me for everything I have left; which isn't a whole lot at this point.

Once we calm our hearts and our breathing returns to normal, Ana slowly releases the iron-grip her legs had around my hips and I carefully help her to the floor, I feel slightly bereft as we break our intimate contact.

"Jesus baby, that was some send off." I say as I cup her face in my hands with a smirk, still panting slightly.

_Well you are old and decrepit now Grey, do you know many forty-year-olds can bang 'till sundown without having a massive coronary heart attack?_ I stoically ignore that snarky comment from my subconscious.

"I know, but I just wanted to give you something to be happy about… and by the shit-eating-cat-ate-the-canary grin you have on your face… well I'd say I succeeded." She says with a giggle.

We quickly wash each other's bodies, cleaning the remnants of our morning sex marathon. I can feel the burn in my thigh muscles, and I'm still trying to get my breathing under control. Shit, I've started to let myself go… I mean, Ana's still a hot young woman and I'm fast approaching forty. I need to get back into shape before she trades me in for a younger, fitter model.

_Come on… this is Ana we're talking about… you could gain 300lbs and she'd still love you. _My subconscious tuts, she may still love me at that size but would she fuck me?

_I'll leave you to figure that out alone. _Finally, yes… leave me alone asshole.

As I finish helping her rinse the conditioner out of her hair, I can't help myself and I lean down and kiss her for all I'm worth, and let's be honest… that's a damn lot. My tongue explores her mouth, revelling in her unique taste as I palm her breast.

"Christian… oh god… mmm… honey it's almost seven o'clock in the morning and we're all going to be late if we don't get out of this shower; like right now." She tells me in a husky, breathy voice that shoots straight to Big G.

"I know but I just can't help myself. It's not fair for you to flaunt your perfect, curvy ass and hips at me all the time and not expect me to react! Oh and Baby… don't even get me started on your breasts; so pert and soft, those pretty little pink nipples make me so fucking hard and they're just begging me to suck on them. We won't be late baby, I promise." I whisper in her ear before leaning down and capturing one of those perfect nubs with my lips.

I roll my tongue all around the hardened peak and softly nibble at it with my teeth. I leave a trail of kisses from her nipple, down the underside of her breast, across her sternum to her other nipple, lashing it with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth with hollowed cheeks until I feel the sweet, perfect temperature of milk flowing into my mouth. Knowing that my son hasn't been fed yet this morning keeps me from going too far and emptying her breast like I want to. She runs her fingers through my hair as I cup her delicate breast in my hand with all the reverence it deserves as I suckle.

Eventually I draw enough strength to remove her perfect nipple from my mouth after only suckling for a few minutes' tops. I leave soft kisses all around her nipple and make my way up her throat, to her gorgeous jawline, and all the way to her pouty, plump lips.

"I love you so much Ana. I'm going to miss hanging out with you and our littlest ones, playing and having fun with them has been awesome. I'm sure everyone at work will probably think they're working for an angry bear with a cactus stuck up his ass all day." Ana giggles adorably as I pepper her neck with kisses and I'm sure she can feel my grin against her skin.

_Oh you're a poet now Grey?_

"We're going to miss having you to hang out with all day too and I'm pretty sure Livvy is going to be pretty bummed out when she finds out daddy is going back to work, but she'll get over it and run you off your feet when you come home." She tells me, her baby blues glowing with pride and love, so much love.

"Come baby, we better get out of here right now or I'm going to bend you over and fuck you till we pass out." Her eyes widen and subsequently darken with the delicious visual I just painted.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

"Daddy, do you hafta go back to work? Will you be homes when I finish school?" Gracie asks as she pushes her pancakes around her plate with a pout on her adorable face.

"Yes baby girl I have to go back to work. I don't know if I'll be back by the time you get home from school, but I do know that I'll try my best to be back in time for dinner and playtime afterwards okay?" I ask her, leaning over and placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Do you promise daddy, that you'll be home for dinner?" She widens her eyes and gives me her best 'Gracie Grey' raised brow.

"I promise that I'll try my very, very best. And what does daddy say about trying?" I ask her with a grin.

"As long as you tried your bestest, then you're winning!" She giggles as she pops the last piece of her pancake in her mouth.

"Okay sweetheart, let's go upstairs and get you cleaned up… you're all sticky." Ana laughs as she stands up and holds Gracie's wrist since her entire hand is coated in a sticky syrup. Gracie hops down from her booster seat and skips along with her mother upstairs. I don't know how that kid manages to get syrup in the strangest of places, like in her ears, up her nose; hell she even had it on her foot one morning.

"Daddeee, pway me… Dwora on pffone." Olivia picks up the toy cell phone that's sitting on tray of her highchair, in between mounds of chewed up pancake and fruit that she's half eaten and spat out. She offers the sticky mess of a phone to me and I take it, holding it away from my ear as I pretending to have a conversation with Miss Dora.

I really feel sorry for Ana, Olivia and I kind of started a routine of sorts over the last six weeks that she does not like to deviate from. We eat breakfast, then while Ana goes upstairs to feed and take care of Matty, Olivia and I go into the family room to watch an episode of 'Dora the Explorer' and play until the kids are ready for school. I know for sure, that she isn't going to be happy when she realises that I'm not going to be around to play with today.

"Dad, I'm gonna go upstairs and get dressed now. Is Uncle Luke taking us to school or are you still gonna take us even though you have to go to work?" He asks me with a hopeful expression. That's another thing we've started since Matthew was born. I have driven Gracie and Teddy to school with Olivia every morning.

"Well, Uncle Jason will be driving the car but I'll be with you guys. We'll drop you off at your building then I'll take Gracie and sign her in before Uncle Jason takes me to work. Is that okay with you bud?" I ask him as I ruffle his out-of-control locks. He wraps his arms around my waist and presses the side of his face into my stomach.

"I love you daddy. You're the best." He tells me and I hold onto him tighter. He hasn't called me daddy in such a long time and I feel myself getting a little emotional so I cough to clear my throat and blink the tears away.

"You better run upstairs and get dressed champ, or you'll end up being late and mommy will be cheesed off at me." He nods against me, squeezing his arms around me tight before letting go and running upstairs.

"Daddddeeee Dwooora!" She whines, kicking her legs against the footrest of her highchair. I am already dressed in my suit, and if I'm being honest I don't want to have to change again because I have syrup stains on my shirt or jacket.

"It's okay Livvy; let's get you cleaned up first." I kiss her curls then go into the drawer where Ana keeps packs of baby wipes and grab a dozen out of the pack. I take Liv's hand and rub the wipe in between her fingers, removing all traces of the syrup and she lets me with zero fuss; although I know the worst is yet to come and I'll have a major freak-out on my hands.

"Okay now I'm going to wipe your face, are you going to be a good girl and let daddy clean you up?" I ask her, she looks up at me with her grey eyes twinkling with mischief and nods her pretty little head. I take a wipe and hold it flat on my hand. I hold her head steady with the other and wipe across her face and she immediately starts squirming and crying.

"Olivia Katherine, you need to get cleaned up baby, you're all sticky and I thought you wanted to watch Dora?" I ask her while trying to remove all traces of sticky syrup from her face.

"Wana watch Dwora no sthicky, pweez!" She whines, as she tries to wiggle her head out of the way, which she can't do successfully since I have a hold of her head.

"There we go; all done… ahh there's my pretty little girl." She beams up at me, her tears forgotten as I unlatch the tray from the highchair and dump the soggy mess on top into the trash. I unstrap her, making sure she doesn't have soggy-syrup-soaked food stuck to her PJ's. Once I'm sure, I lift her into my arms and take her into the family room to turn on Dora.

Usually when Ted and Grace come downstairs after getting dress, Olivia automatically runs to get her fluffy bootie slippers and robe so that she can come with me when I drive the kids to school. Today however, I won't be coming back to the house so she can't come with us and I just know that she's going to pitch a massive fit about that.

Olivia is sitting on my lap while she watches Dora, obviously waiting on her big brother and sister to come downstairs so we can take them to school and I'd be lying if I said I'm not apprehensive of her reaction. Just as the credits role, Ana, Gracie and Teddy come down, the kids come into the family room while Ana goes and grabs their lunches with Matty squirming in her arms.

_She's freaking super-mom!_

"Daddy, we're ready to go now. I can't wait for Lexi to comed over at the weekend. I am excited!" She claps her hands with an 'excited' squeal which Olivia just has to repeat. Ana comes in with Matty, placing him into his swing and straps him in then hands over the kids' lunches for them to put in their backpacks.

"Do you both have everything?" She asks them and they both respond with a nod. Olivia squirms to get off my lap and I let her go, silently pleading with her not to rush to put her slippers on.

"Homework? Lunch? Gym stuff?" Ana asks, counting off each item with her fingers which earns her an eye roll from Ted, which in turn, earns him a glare from me.

_Jeez, he is Ana's kid!_

"Yep, yep and yep. I made sure Gracie packed hers this mornin' when I was getting mine cause she forgot." Ted tells Ana, looking a little contrite for rolling his eyes.

"Yeah and I woulda got in biiiig trouble mommy." I have to say I'm so proud of Ted for taking his role as a big brother as seriously as I did with Mia. Matty is still squirming and starting to cry a little so I know that he's probably getting impatient and wants some boob.

_I feel your pain little man, although I already got some this mornin'_

"I have the car pulled around front sir." He tells me and I give him a nod. Olivia is sitting beside her slippers, still holding onto her Sippy cup so maybe she doesn't want to come this morning? I can only hope… I can't believe that I am fucking nervous of my kid's reaction to me going back to work, when the fuck did that happen?

_When you fell in love with each kid?_

"Okay, you both have everything. Have a good day at school and learn stuff. I love you both, give me a kiss and hug before you go." Ana tells them and they both go to hug her at the same time, she wraps an arm around each of them and kisses their heads.

"Love you mommy."

"Yeah, love you mom, we'll see you when we come home." Ted says as he takes Gracie's hand and leads her from the room. Olivia is frantically trying to get her booties on as Ana hands me a travel mug full of fresh coffee.

"Come here sweet-pea." Ana holds out her arms for Olivia and she runs over with one bootie on and the other gets thrust at Ana.

"On mama, go wif Da an Tedted." She taps Ana's leg to get her to hurry up. I grab my overcoat and shrug it on before kissing Ana soundly on the lips.

"I'll see you tonight for dinner baby. I love you and I'm going to miss hanging out with you and the kids." I say with a pout, which makes Ana giggle heartily. I lean in and nuzzle my nose in that special spot under her ear and nip at her neck. "I'm sure you'll be exhausted when I get home baby." I add with a smirk and I can't help let out a little chuckle because this is the epitome of cheese.

"Huh?" She asks with a frown, and I leave a kiss right between her brows.

"Because you'll have been running through my mind all day." I say with a grin and she slaps my chest with a giggle.

"That was so cheesy, has that line ever worked for you before?" She asks me and kisses me, nibbling at my lower lip.

"Well it got you to kiss me so I'm pretty sure it worked just a second ago. Oh and baby, you're the only woman I've ever delivered cheesy lines to and you know it." I kiss the tip of her nose and pick up my baby girl. It's 7:50am so we're fine for time.

"Are you going to be a good girl for mommy?" I ask her, leaving kisses and raspberries on her chubby cheeks.

"Me tum da, pees?" She asks and holy fucking shit she is giving me the worst puppy dog eyes I have ever seen. Shit, has she been spending too much time with Mia.

"Baby girl, daddy has to go to back to work, but I'll be home before you know it and you can have lots of fun with mama and Matty right?" Oh crap, her bottom lip starts quivering and her eyes fill with massive tears, the worst part is that she nods and reaches for Ana. She's crying and I can tell that she's really hurt. She's not even having a fit about it which makes it worse than usual. Right now, I'd rather deal with a screaming tantrum than sad acceptance… is that normal? I kiss her curls as she anchors her arms around Ana's neck and I rub her back.

"We'll be back soon sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much. Please don't cry, you'll make daddy sad. I love you button." I tell her in a whisper and manage to get a kiss on her cheek and another on Ana's.

"She'll be fine, I love you!" Ana tries to reassure me but I feel like shit. "Livvy, tell daddy to go to work and make us some money to spend on shopping." She tries to get a reaction out of Olivia but it doesn't really work too well until Liv lifts her head and presses her hand to her lips and blows me a kiss which I catch and press against my heart.

"Luff da." She tells me with a watery smile. Fuck my heart is literally breaking here.

"I love you too sweetheart. Be good for mommy okay?" She nods as Ana carries her to the front door. I pick up my briefcase and give them both another kiss each and get into the car. We're barely out of the driveway and already… I can't wait to go back home. I pull my blackberry out and text Ana asking how Olivia is, and impatiently await her reply.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

The elevator doors ping to announce my arrival, walking out into the main reception area of my office fills me with both excitement and dread. I know that I'm going to have a shit-tonne of paperwork, meetings, and definitely some out of country correspondence to keep me more than busy.

"Good morning Mr. Grey, it's good to have you back." Andrea chirps from her desk with a smile and strangely I find myself returning it.

_Damn it Grey, you can't afford to be soft around here too, rule with an iron fist and all that!_

"Morning Andrea, it's good to be back. Meet me in my office with coffee and my schedule for the day in about ten minutes please." I say as I march to the double doors that house my power seat. As soon as I enter my office I feel immediately relaxed, strong and in control which is so much different than home life where I'm _never _in control, except at home… I prefer it that way. I place my briefcase on my desk and boot up my computer. I have been working in my home office but there was a lot that I needed to handle from headquarters that couldn't be addressed from home.

I quickly scroll through my emails, sorting them by their flags of importance. I immediately immerse myself in my work, responding and delegating things that I don't personally have to handle and I am startled when Andrea buzzes me to let me know that she is ready for our meeting. A few moments later she comes into my office carrying a tray with coffee and French pastries.

_Did I mention how much I've missed Andrea?_

"Mr. Grey, I ordered some pastries from café Besalu just in case you were a little hungry and to go with your coffee. I ordered you a Grande Vanilla Macchiato, and also a plain black coffee, in case you've went off the sugary stuff."

"Thank you Andrea, It's good to be back. I'll have the Vanilla Macchiato thank you." I reach over and lift the Starbucks cup out of the holder and Andrea hands me two packs of Demerara sugar and a stirrer. I look at the plate of pastries and end up selecting the ham and cheese croissant and the Pain au chocolat.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I ask her as I take the lid off my coffee and add the sugar; I quickly stir it and take a cautious sip…

_Oh sweet Jesus that's delicious, almost the best thing you've ever tasted huh, cept Ana of course?_

"You have a video conference with Chris Brown, formally the COO for the City of Detroit, who was in charge of the department of public lighting. He resigned to take the role of President of Vestas sales and services department. The call is scheduled at 10.15am. This merely a little introduction conversation before you head up to Portland to their new headquarters. I have compiled a dossier of information to bring you up to speed on his roles within both jobs, the first page is key points in his career and those facts will be enough to get through the fifteen minute conversation, you can read up on the rest to prepare for the face to face meeting which is scheduled for mid-November, I am still in contact with his PA to acquire a definitive date. To be honest sir, I think they are stalling in lieu of this call." She hands over the file to me and I lay it to the side. This is why Andrea is where she is in my company, and why she has such an amazing salary and benefits package. She doesn't need to be told what to do; she anticipates my needs and requirements before I even think about them. I would look like a fool if I had absolutely no details of his career. It's 8:40am right now so I have enough time to skim over the bullet points that Andrea has given me. I tuck into the ham and cheese croissant and it's absolutely decadent.

"Okay, what else is there for today? What's going on today in terms of high importance?" I ask as I swallow the deliciously buttery pastry.

"The most important thing you have going on today is your conference call with Mr. Kanto Sakamoto of Eurus Energy Group at 2pm, which is 6am their time. They want to discuss the progress of the concentrated solar power stations in their onshore wind farms. Spain, United Kingdom and Italy's representative's will also be on the call. Here is another file, same as the Vertas situation there will be enough information in here to buy you some more time. Ros has been heading up this deal so far, but the Mr. Sakamoto is of the traditional mind-set that a woman is beneath him and won't close the deal unless it's with you personally or a high level male exec, which you don't have." Ah, I vaguely remember a few things about this deal; I'll have to get Ros to bring me up to speed on its progress.

"Can you—" I start to ask but she cuts me off and I can't help but smirk.

"I already have a lunch meeting between you and Ros scheduled for 12pm. Other than those two calls, there isn't anything that urgently requires you personally, Ros and her team have everything under control. I thought it would be prudent to leave a few vacant slots for you to catch up on paperwork that requires your signature and urgent correspondence." She tells me as she closes the cover of her tablet and picks up a notepad and pen; she prefers good old fashioned short-hand when taking instructions.

"Is there anything else that I can help you with sir?" She asks me with a smile. I think she is happy that I'm back. I quickly rattle off a list of instructions, the majority of which are already taken care of.

"Can you wait here a second, I just need to perform a quick search on the computer and then I'll tell you what I need for you to do ASAP okay?" I ask her and she nods with a smile. "Help yourself to a pastry or I'll eat them all and will have to work with Claude for the next five days." I tell her and she laughs, she is looking at me curiously and I don't really blame her. I don't know why I am being so… agreeable today, maybe it's because I am so unbelievably happy at the moment, plus being away for the majority of the last six weeks has been amazing and practically stress-free. I complete my search and find the information I was looking for. I want to send something to Ana and needed to find out some meanings behind what I'm sending.

"Okay, Andrea can you please order me a grand bouquet of Red and White thornless roses, long stem. Order from the best place possible, no budget." I ask her and she nods as she takes note.

"Would you like a message written on the card?" She asks me.

"Yes, I was searching for the meaning behind certain flowers and I got this from one of the websites 'Red roses say I love you, but if you place red and white roses together, it symbolises perfect unity. A thornless rose means I loved you at first sight.' So if you could condense that into more of a romantic order then I'd appreciate it. Also could you please bring me the urgent mail please?"

"No problem, I'll get the mail for you right away sir, will that be all?" She asks me and I nod. Upon leaving she takes the remaining pastries to leave them in the break room for the executives at my request. The Tarte au citron was calling my name but I've already ate my quota of sugar this morning. She brings in the mail and leaves me to get on with it in peace, telling me to buzz her if she's needed for anything. I'll have to get Ana to bring in Olivia and Matthew so that she and Ros can see Matty and Olivia for a bit, Ros is always bugging me about bringing in Ana and the kids to see her, probably because she wants to fuck my wife. Although it's one of my fantasies to see Ana with another woman… it wouldn't be with a lesbian that I work with. Now I can seriously imagine Ana and Kate together, Kate would be caressing Ana's breasts, kissing and licking at her neck as her hand skims Ana's belly, going towards the prized land… fuck!

_Fuck, what a visual… big G is causing a tent situation… he need's Ana, stat! _I wonder if they'd be up for that? I know Elliot and I sure as fuck would. Hmm, maybe I should mention it to her?

_Ana would probably slap you silly and Kate wouldn't even entertain the idea especially with your presence Grey!_

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

After talking with meeting with Ros, I took the conference call from Japan and I'm ecstatic that all the loose ends are tied and everything is due to be signed, sealed and delivered. I spoke with Mr. Brown regarding meeting with him in Portland, he said that his assistant will contact Andrea with an appointment ASAP. He will be meeting with me in person to discuss his plans and ideas so we can determine if I am going to continue to back this venture with Vertas.

I'm just winding down, reading and sorting through the mail when I randomly pick up an envelope and immediately open it without checking the markings on the front, and also forgetting to check the return address on the back.

* * *

_Dear Mr. Grey,_

_I know I am the last person you expected to hear from and I am begging you to continue reading. I'm not contacting you without a valid reason. I have some information for you that I can't tell you via written correspondence. I… can't explain to you as my mail is checked before sending out. _

_All I can say is that it is of great and urgent importance regarding the safety of your family. I recently had a visitor that I didn't want to see and I need to tell you what I know. I have to at least try to get someone to listen to me. It doesn't have to be you personally, you can send one of your security team and who will relay my information back to you. _

_I am sorry for everything, and I swear it isn't an empty apology._

_Allyson._

* * *

My hands are shaking as I read and re-read the letter over and over again, trying to settle the deep, gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach. I will protect my family at all cost but what if this is some sort of ploy just to have the chance to speak to me? Or to psychologically torture Ana? What if I plan to go see her and she sends a letter to Ana saying that I'm visiting her for 'romantic' reasons? I know I can prevent that scenario by telling Ana what's going on but I don't want to worry her with this. She was so emotionally torn up after Allyson attacked her and Olivia and I never want her to suffer any amount of discomfort at the hands of anyone, including myself. The only word I can use to describe what I'm feeling is… torn!

_But what if it isn't, what If you fail to protect them once again? Will you be able to sleep at night if something that you could have prevented happens to Ana and any of the children? _

I just sit and stare at the letter, hoping and praying that this isn't happening. It's like we are constantly fighting an uphill battle. Whenever things are going smoothly, something always comes up to knock us off kilter. Fuck, I can't believe this, I don't fucking understand why shit always happens to our family… haven't we been through enough in our lifetime? I walk over to the wet bar and pour myself two fingers worth of Scotch and down it immediately. I try to control the tremble in my hands as I pour another glass and return to my desk. I need to fix this and I need to do it fast.

* * *

A/N: **Disclaimer:** I have used the names of real corporations in this chapter, along with real names of the CEO's and Presidents. However Mr. Sakamoto isn't a real name, I couldn't find out if the CEO of Eurus Energy Group was a man or woman so I substituted for a made up name.

_Sorry that the updates are much slower in this story. Motherhood is certainly kicking my butt! I wrote a great deal of chapters so that it would make it possible to update while caring for a newborn baby but life isn't working out that way. It's hard to get enough time to locate the document and upload it in doc manager but thankfully CJ is asleep and I have time to post this before going back to bed._

_I will shoot for weekly updates, always on a Friday so this Friday I will be posting again and then every Friday thereafter until the story is complete. I'm not saying that I will stick to this strictly as it's impossible to try and stick to a schedule when you have a small baby that's completely dependent on you lol. _

_Love and hugs  
-S, xoxo_

_Ps: I hope you like the chapter, I'd love to hear your thoughts as to how Christian will handle this letter and Allyson's attempt to contact him to visit her? Let me know in a review, feed my review monster cause he's hungry ;) xoxo_


	6. What's the right choice?

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

* * *

With a shaking hand I pick up the desk phone and dial for Jason's personal line. I need his opinion as my chief of personal security and also as my friend.

"Sir?" Jason asks as soon as he picks up the call.

"Can you come up to my office immediately, we have a problem." I say with a shaking voice, Jason pauses for a brief second then answer's me.

"I'll be there right away sir." I nod, even though I know he can't see me and end the call. I honestly want to pour myself another drink but I can't, getting shit-faced won't solve my problems. I need a clear, decisive head on my shoulders right now.

A few moments later, Jason knocks on the door then enters. I'm sitting at my desk with my head in my hands. I don't want to accept the fact that this is happening.

"Sir?" He asks me with a frown, he's known me long enough to know just by looking at me that something is very wrong.

"Take a seat and read this letter. I'm not sure what to do, or how to proceed, if at all?" I hand over the letter from that bitch. I don't know whether to believe her or not, would she do this just to cause trouble? If I am to draw from experience, I would say yes, after what she did to Ana, I am certain she wants to cause trouble… yet something, something deep down inside is telling me to believe what she has written.

"What do I do? Should I ignore it, if I do… something could happen to Ana or one of the kids…? If it does, I'll never forgive myself for not stopping it." I tell him as he reads the letter over again, just as I did. "I don't want Ana to find out about this, Jason she's… we're finally free of what I set in motion back then, I don't want to take Ana back to that awful place where horrifying memories are dredged up." I whisper, feeling anguish deep in my heart for what Ana and Olivia went through at the hands of the psychotic bitch in question.

"Mr. Grey, sir are you asking me as your security advisor or as a friend of the family? Because both roles warrant a different response." He asks looking up at me. I need to hear what he has to say, he's one of the two friends I have in this world, the other being my brother.

"As both Jason. Give me your professional opinion first, I mean are they conflicting opinions?" I ask him because if so, I'll be no further forward in my quest to discover what the fuck I'm supposed to do in this situation.

"Not really. From a security stand point; we need to hear what she has to say. Any lead we have, gives us the opportunity to put a stop something before it happens… as the saying goes 'foretold is forearmed'. She wrote in the letter that it doesn't have to be you that meets her, in my professional opinion I'd say that either Welch or I, or even both of us should go to find out what information she has, if any. You're better to keep out of it, that way she can't use anything against you. Plus, I think you'd have a hard time being in the same room as her, without doing anything rash." He tells me with a stoic expression. I have to say that I agree with him. There is no point in me being involved in this right off the bat, I don't _need _to be there… she said so in her letter which leads me to believe that she isn't going to gain anything from this meeting.

"Okay. I agree with you. I don't need to be there. Jason, you and Welch were there when we found Ana and Olivia… you both seen what she did to my wife and daughter, can you handle this without losing your cool? I know you love Ana…" I smile because that's just how Ana is, she lights up whichever room she is in and everyone with blood flowing in their veins falls in love with her, whether romantically or platonically. "…Everyone loves her, because she has a beautiful soul and she radiates innocence and you can't help but want to protect her. I want to send Luke with you guys but I know that he won't be able to handle it; he's too close to the situation to react impartially. Ana is like a little sister to the majority of the team, mostly to you and Luke. Can you handle leading this Jason?" I ask him, staring into his eyes and I know that he has this. He'll handle it to the best of his ability and will use every tool in his arsenal to find out as much information as possible.

"Yes, I can handle it Christian. I won't like a single second that I have to breathe the same air as that twisted bitch, but for Ana's safety I'll do it." He stares into my eyes and I give him a solemn nod of agreement.

"You've given me your professional opinion, what about your personal opinion?" I ask him as I clasp my hands, my chin resting against them with my elbows on my knees.

"Permission to speak freely?" He asks with a raised brow and I can't stop my mouth from twitching slightly into a smirk. I nod at him and motion with my hands for him to go on.

"You said that you don't want Ana to find out about any of this. Christian, every time something happens and you keep it from her; it causes problems for the security team to keep her safe and also in your marriage. If there is one thing that you need to keep in the forefront of your mind is to communicate with her. I know you don't think Ana is strong enough to handle whatever it is that you're facing but you need to have more faith in her, time and time again she's proved to all of us that she's stronger than she looks. I understand that you don't want to needlessly upset her, but you should tell her about the letter. If I've found out anything about women during my two marriages, it's that they always, and I mean _always, _find out what you're hiding eventually, and more often than not, it aint pretty when they do." I sigh because I know he's right, if she finds out that Allyson has been in touch and I haven't told her, she'll lose her shit and I'll be sleeping in the guest room faster than I can blink.

"You're right, I know you're right and I will tell her about the letter. I mean, do you think I should wait until you've went to see Allyson to find out what her information is before I tell Ana? I don't want to worry her needlessly Jason. It could be nothing after all." I say as I scrub my hands over my face. I'm torn; I honestly haven't got a clue what to do for the best.

"I guess you could wait, but when she does find out that I went to see Allyson because she sent you a letter she'll know you kept this information from her. Ana is anything but stupid when it comes to your moods. She'll know as soon as you walk through the door tonight that something is wrong. Unfortunately for you boss, she knows you better than you know yourself." A mirthless and tired chuckle falls from my chest and I run my hands through my hair in exasperation at the entire situation; it just sucks.

"I guess that's true. I still think it'll be better if I hold out and see what information Ms. Anderson can provide before I say anything to Ana. I mean, she could just be trying to make trouble and play mind games and telling Ana will just play into her hands. Do you remember how utterly terrified she was in the months after the incident? I don't want her to go back to feeling like she couldn't walk out the door without feeling terrified. I can't do that to her Jason, I just can't." I pick up the letter and a few other files and chuck them into my briefcase, along with some of the urgent contracts that I need to go over and amend.

"Let's go home. I need to be with Ana right now and I don't have any further meetings today anyway." I shrug into my suit jacket and lay my overcoat across my arm before closing my briefcase and pick it up.

"Andrea, something has come up, redirect my calls to Ros and if there's anything that she can't deal with tell her to call or email me." I tell her as I walk over to the elevator with Jason.

"Will you be in tomorrow sir, you have quite a few meetings scheduled."

"I'll be working from home tomorrow Andrea, reschedule those meetings… if there's anything overly important redirect to Ros and get her to delegate to her team." I want to go home and take Ana into my arms and that's just exactly what I'm going to do.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

I release a tired sigh as we cruse smoothly down the I-5 towards home. I know that Jason is probably right and that I should definitely tell Ana what I received in the mail today but I honestly don't think I can. She is so happy right now, we're so happy as a family and I don't want to let _Allyson-mother fucking-Anderson_ ruin that, not without knowing exactly what's going on!

I can't seem to stop bouncing my knee as our familiar journey seems to take so much longer than usual. I decide to pull out my blackberry and play a game of brick breaker to try to distract myself but it's not really working; if anything, it's making me more agitated.

"Mother fucking damn it to hell!" I growl at the screen.

"Sir is everything alright?" I look up and find Jason's worried gaze reflected back at me in the rear-view mirror.

"Oh… yeah everything's fine. I was playing a stupid game on my phone…" I tell him, slightly embarrassed.

"I'll take it from your tone that you lost then?" He says with a smirk and I let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, as you know Jason, I never take losing well." I lock the screen on my phone and slip it into my inside pocket just as we head up the driveway. I didn't even notice that we'd stopped at the gate. I guess that damn annoying game served its purpose of distracting me. Jason parks the SUV in front of the garage and I hop out of the car, trying to stop myself from sprinting through the door. I know that if I don't manage control my emotions, Ana will instantly know that something is up and when my wife wants information she always seems to draw it from me eventually.

I open the front door and walk into the foyer, I can hear Ana and Olivia giggling about something and it doesn't matter how much of a bad day I've had, coming home and hearing these sound of laughter welcoming me never fails to make me smile. I follow the giggles all the way to the kitchen and pause at the doorway, watching Ana interacting with our exuberant twenty-one month old daughter as they color pictures.

"Mama, dat one." Liv tugs on Ana's arm and points at a crayon she wants but can't reach.

"What color is it Livvy, what color do you want… you have to tell me baby?" Ana says to her and I can see the little V forming in between Olivia's brows.

"Bue, pwees?" She tells Ana with a grin, she's completely adorable.

"The blue one, you're such a clever girl, here you go sweetie. That's a very nice picture, who are you going to give it to?" Ana asks her as she colors with our daughter. That's something I've always loved about Ana as a mother, she is never afraid to get messy with our kids, whether that be with arts and crafts or making mud-pies outside. She's just the type of mother who loves to have fun with our babies.

"Gib da." Olivia says as she scribbles all over the sheet of paper in front of her, I have to admit that gesture makes me smile. I never thought Olivia would ever be a daddy's girl like Gracie; she was so clingy with Ana after what happened at the hands of that twisted bitch.

"I think daddy will love your picture Olivia, will we give it to him when he comes home?" Ana asks her as she watches our daughter use every crayon on the table with total concentration.

"Uh-huh. Misth da wen way." She says with a pout.

"Aww, I know sweet girl, but he'll be back soon and you can give him the special cookies we made."

"Tookie's nummy mama." She hums and pats her tummy, she lifts her head to look at her mother but her eyes meet mine and in a split second, all thoughts of the crayons, pictures and cookies are forgotten as she launches herself into my arms.

"Da homed." She tells me as I scoop her up and hold her against my chest.

"Yes princess I'm home because I missed you so, so, so, so much." I tell her as I kiss her cheek.

"Misth Matmat, an mama an Tedted, an Gace?" She asks me with a frown.

"Of course I missed them too. What did you do with mommy when daddy was at work?"

"Tookie's, pwicture da, thee…" She turns her upper body around to point with her fingers towards the kitchen table and then to the plate on the breakfast bar that houses the cookies. "Burny da… wait tool." She tells me with a sigh as she pats my cheek. Ana has obviously told her that she can't have a cookie until they cool down.

"It's okay; we'll wait because we don't want to get a burn on our tongue do we?" I ask her and she shakes her head dramatically and says "Naooo."

"Down pwees?" She asks me as she squirms in my arms. I go to let her down and I swear her feet are taking steps before they hit the floor.

Livvy toddles over to the table and Ana helps her back into her booster chair. I watch my beautiful wife as she walks over to greet me, hips swaying until she stands before me.

"Hi sweetheart, you're home early." She runs her hands up and down my arms as she leans in for a chaste kiss and I obviously need more so I press my tongue along her bottom lip and her answering gasp provides me with access.

"I know, I guess I just missed you guys too much for a full day at the office. It's probably better if I ease myself back into a full day's work. I haven't really spent much time away from you guys since that horrendous three days when I hardly got to see any of you." I whisper against her luscious lips.

"We missed you too. How was work, sweetheart? Are you okay… you just seem a little, off?" She asks as she runs her fingers through my hair. Jason was right, she knows me better than I know myself.

"I'm fine baby; it's just been a long day and well, work was work! What about you, are you alright… did you have a good day with our little ones?" I ask her as I lower my lips to hers.

"Our day has been wonderful daddy; we made you cookies and drew pictures for you to hang in your office at Grey House just in case you get lonely." Ana says with a sincere smile on her face. I hate hiding things from her, but she really doesn't _need _to know right now… if Allyson's—I hate thinking about that bitch—information provides us a solid lead, then I'll sit down and tell Ana but right now she is so happy and I don't want to ruin that with talk of the psychopath.

"Oh, well let me see these pictures and can I maybe have one of those cookies when they've cooled down?" I give her, what she calls my pantie-busting grin, and I revel in the way her pupils dilate and her breath hitches in her throat.

"Come over here then and see the pictures we made for you daddy." She takes my hand in hers and leads me over to where Olivia is scrawling crayons all over her piece of paper, and in my opinion it's the finest piece of art I could ever find on this earth.

"Show daddy your picture Livvy…" Ana tells our daughter who is coloring at high speed with an adorable concentrated expression on her pretty face.

"Pwicture daddy, thee." She picks up the piece of paper in front of her, which is really nothing more than a scrawled mass of crayon wax, but hey, to me it's priceless.

"It's so pretty baby girl; who did you draw it for?" I ask her as I crouch down beside her.

"Pwicture for dah." She tells me with a grin, which I can't help but return.

"Well, can I take it to work with me once you're finished?" She responds to my question with an excited nod. I plant a kiss on her chocolate curls once I've stood up. As I study her features, I start to realize that, from the pictures Carla showed me, she looks just like Ana did as a baby; so in other words, in fifteen years, I am fucked… so fucked that it's not even funny.

* * *

After sharing a few of Ana's delectable cookies—which were still warm—with Olivia, accompanied by a glass and Sippy Cup of ice cold milk, we moved into the family room which was littered with toys and baby paraphernalia and I couldn't hide my smile. It's at times like these when I realize just how amazing it feels to have that addictive bond with my wife, and undying love for both her and our children.

I take a seat on the sofa after picking up Matthew up from his baby swing and hold him close to my chest. I kiss his gorgeous scented baby hair and rock him from side to side; his shining crystal clear blue eyes peer up at me with what appears to be the start of a small smirk.

"Hey baby boy, daddy missed you today. Work sucks right now because I have to spend time away from mommy, your brother and your sisters." He lifts his little hand, which is curled into a tiny fist and starts sucking on it, indicating he's either upset or hungry.

"Are you hungry buddy, or are you just self-soothing hmm?" I ask him as he gurgles back at me. His little face shining with obvious love and adoration as his mother appears in his line of sight. I sit there in awe as our baby boy gives us his first real smile. I can't help chuckle as his gummy grin as Ana stares down at him with a contented and proud smile.

"You're smiling sweetie! Oh you have a killer grin just like your daddy. I think you're going to break a lot of hearts someday." She giggles as she brushes her fingers lightly over his fine hair and drops a kiss on both of our foreheads as she takes a seat.

I pass Matthew off to my wife, laying him in her cradled arms. She quickly lifts her shirt and unhooks the cup of her bra and just as it opens, a wet breast pad falls onto her lap. Her eyes widen comically and I can't help my smirk as the most delicious blush colors her cheeks. I lift the pad from her lap and toss it into the wastepaper basket that sits at the side of the sofa.

"Well that was slightly mortifying!" She whispers with a nervous giggle and latches Matthew onto her breast, he sighs contentedly as his soft swallows fill the room. I lean over and place a kiss on Ana's flaming cheek.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about baby, you're breast feeding; hell you've done it for all four of our children, it's not the first soggy breast pad I've seen and I'm sure it won't be the last either." I tell her as I stroke her thigh lovingly. She curls her feet underneath her as she relaxes on the sofa, expertly holding our son close to her body and turns her eyes on me with a soft expression.

"I love you sweetheart, you always seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better." I grin at her and kiss her forehead, then repeat the gesture on our little angel, earning an adorable grumbling protest at being disturbed as he eats… but I suppose I'd grumble too if someone was trying to bug me while sucking on Ana's breasts; although that's in a completely different context.

I am trying really hard not to think about the letter I received today but it's hard not to, especially when I'm really fucking concerned that yet more drama could be heading our way.

"Are you sure you're okay Christian?" Ana asks me as the adorable little 'V' forms between her brows. I smile softly as I use my thumb to smooth the frown away before leaning in for a chaste kiss. I try to deepen it as much as I can—considering that Ana does have our sleeping son in her arms—just as I slip my tongue into her mouth and really taste her, Grace and Ted burst into the family room with Luke following closely behind.

"Mommy, mommy guess what I did today in school?" Gracie asks while practically bouncing off the walls.

"What did you do at school baby bug?" Ana asks as Gracie climbs onto my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. I nuzzle my chin against her soft skin and she giggles and wriggles to get away from my itchy beard.

"Daddy, I'm tryin' to tell mommy what I did and your distractoring me." She says in an exasperated huff. I have to try really hard to keep my laughter locked inside and I know without a doubt that if I look up at Ana, I'm going to burst

"When I was at school Miss. Miller said we were gonna do art and I gotted exited mommy. She told us to draw what our favourite things are! And d'ya know what I drawed?" I play with her pigtail while she talks with Ana about school. I'm dying to know what she's drawn.

"What did you draw? Do you get to bring the picture home, or did you have to leave it at school?" I ask her before blowing a drool filled raspberry on her neck. Gracie hops off my lap and goes to retrieve the picture so we can take a look at it.

She places the large sheet of paper in front of us; I can't help the grin that breaks across my face.

"Tell us about your picture, bug." I whisper against her chubby cheek, giving her another squeeze and sit her down on her feet.

"Well this is mommy…" She tells me, pointing to the female drawing on the page. "… But she has Cinderwella's dress on and this is you daddy, see you're prince charming—you saved mommy an took her back to your castle and liveded happily ever after. Miss Miller told me it was reeeeeally good!" She finishes telling us about her picture with a massive grin, which Ana and I both return.

"It is sweetie, it's very good. Guess what, your little sister drew daddy a picture today to hang up in his office at work, and I think daddy would love to have this picture too, what do you think?" Ana asks our daughter and she nods with a bright smile.

"Daddy, would you like to have my picture in your office too? Will you hanged it up besides Livvy's? Pwease?" She bats her lashes at me as she pouts and I chuckle before kissing her little pout.

"I'd love to have your picture hanging up in my office bug, thank you for giving it to me… how about giving me a big hug and kiss since I missed you so much today?" I ask her with a kiss to her cheek. She turns around to face me and wraps her little arms around my neck and squeezes me tightly.

"I love you daddy, lots and lots and soooooo much." She says quietly, and I hold her to me, leaving little kisses on her hair.

"I love you all the way to the moon Gracie, and all the way back." I murmur, giving her chubby cheek another kiss.

"Dad, I made you and mom somethin' today too. Here dad this one's for you…" Ted says after Gracie gets off my lap and heads upstairs to get changed out of her uniform.

Ted hands me the picture, which is of Charlie Tango, with Ted and I as passengers. Damn, my son can really draw; it's like an exact replica of our helicopter, so detailed and not child-like at all!

"Wow Ted, this is really good… really, really good! Where did you learn to draw like this son?" I ask him, sure that my shock is evident in my tone.

"In art class, since it's art week at school, all we do all week is do arts and craft all afternoon. My teacher said that I'm quite good at drawing and painting and stuff." He answers with a shrug. Just like Ana, Ted gets embarrassed when he receives any kind of compliment.

"You did a really good job buddy. This is coming with me to my office too, thank you son." I tell him and ruffle his hair as I hug him. "What did you draw for mom?" I ask him, and he quickly turns back around, pulling a plastic folder out of his backpack.

"Mrs. Coulson gave me this folder to keep my drawings in cause she didn't want them to get ruined on the way home, she said you should get it framed; whatever that means." He shifts from foot to foot like he's nervous of our reaction. He's holding the folder against his chest so that we can't see, which makes me wonder what the hell he's drawn? He slowly hands the folder over to Ana and we can't help but gasp, our mouths open in shock at the level of detail and accuracy in the picture. I think he mistakes our shock as anger because he quickly tries to explain himself.

"Please don't be mad… I…I took the picture of you and Matty out of your bedroom, the one when he was just born. I wanted to draw it for you… I know should of asked but it wouldn't be a surprize if I did that… I'm sorry, I really should have asked." He looks at his feet with a sad expression on his face. I turn to look at Ana and her beautiful blue eyes are filled with tears as she stares from the picture, to Ted and back again… countless times. When she finally speaks her voice is thick with emotion.

"Come here sweet boy, oh Teddy bear… I can't believe you did this, it's beautiful and I promise I'm not mad." She whispers as she puts the picture down on the table in front of us and opens her arms for Ted. She pulls him down onto her lap and buries her face into his hair as she holds him, slightly rocking from side to side.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry… please don't be sad it's okay if you don't like it and I promise I won't take any pictures from your room anymore." I smile sadly as I rub Ana's back. She's still so emotional all the time. I thought her hormones would have evened out by now, not that I'd ever admit that out loud… I prefer to live opposed to instant death.

"I'm not mad sweetie, and I'm not upset… " Ted cocks his brow and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing because he looks just like me when he does that! "Well, okay I am upset but these are happy tears because I'm so proud of you… and this picture—picture isn't even an appropriate word to describe this, it's more like a portrait—it's wonderful baby and I love it. Mrs. Coulson was right, this needs to be framed and I'll hang it up somewhere in the house. We'll find a really good spot for it okay?" She reassures him and he nods with a smile then hugs his mother tightly.

"I'm real glad you like it mom." He tells her and kisses her cheek before swiping away her tears. He looks after her just like I do, with so much love and affection.

**~o0o~Whole Again~o0o~**

I'm sitting in my office staring blankly at a spreadsheet document, trying to calculate the P/L margin but I can't seem to make my brain actually work. I just sit and stare. I'm drawn from my blankness by a knock on the doorframe. I rub my hands over my face to try and wake myself out of self-loathing but it doesn't work.

"Come in." I murmur from my chair, and I'm not at all surprized at who comes into the room.

"Christian, I need to talk to you real quick. From the giggling, happy-go-lucky mood of your wife… I don't even need to ask if you told her. What are you thinking man? God damn it, did you listen to a word I said today? Shit fuck!" He throws himself down in one of the chairs in front of my desk, crosses his arms and cocks his brow.

"I know, god I know but Jason she's happy and I can't, I can't take that away before I know that it's necessary." I tell him, I just don't want to see the light fade from her eyes again, I don't like thinking about how bad things got for Ana after what happened. It hurts too much but I have to make him understand why I can't tell her yet.

"Jason… do you remember what Ana was like afterwards?" I whisper, pain and anguish evident in my tone. "How many nightmares she had, how vivid they were, I'll never forget the sound of her waking up screaming and sobbing. Then she had the severe panic attacks every time a balloon burst or a car door slammed, or any noise she didn't expect. She wouldn't go outside at one point, remember?" My heart clenches as the memories of those horrible months flood my mind and I know I won't be able to shake them.

"She couldn't bare to be around any of us because she was trapped inside memories she never should have fucking had and I can't bear seeing her regress into that terrified shadow, because that's what she was… just a shadow of the woman I met… and the worst part is that I made it happen. I can't tell her, not yet. Please, try to understand?" I implore him, there's only one way that I'll be able to make him feel even a fragment of how I feel about our situation. "What if it was Gail? What if Robert wrote you a nice letter, would you tell her that he was back sniffing around, maybe coming back to hurt her again like last time?" I ask him, watching his eyes narrow and his jaw clench tightly before giving me a solemn nod.

"I see your point. Just to clarify, if her previous husband's brother came sniffing around and making threats… I'd shoot him." He tells me with nothing but hard, cold truth in his eyes, so.

"So, update me on what's happening in regards to meeting that psychotic bitch?" I ask, my voice tight and low, showing all of my frustration.

"I just finished meeting with Welch and Luke." I can't help but raise my brow as I specifically remember saying that Luke wouldn't be able to handle it. Jason must notice my annoyance as he quickly clarifies his thinking.

"Christian… as Ana and the Kids' CPO he needs to have all the facts in order to protect them to the best of his ability and surprisingly he agrees with you on the fact that Ana doesn't need to know… _yet. _After the briefing with the guys, we got to work. Barney managed to hack into the visitation records at the prison." He tells me and somehow I don't think there is anything we're going to find.

"Go on." I tell him as I move over to the mini fridge, which is just across from my desk. I take out two bottles of ice-cold water and toss one to Jason before sitting back down and chug half of the bottle at once.

"Ms. Anderson hasn't had any visitors in the last five months. In fact, the last visitor that she had was Dr. Dipshit." Jason tells me, a slight smirk catching at the corner of his mouth as he uses the nickname I came up with for Dr. Harper.

"So if she lied about having a visitor, there's no way it can be true about Ana being in danger?" I ask, my heart is almost beating its way out of my chest at the prospect of Allyson's letter being a load of bullshit. Jason sighs heavily and slowly meets my gaze, and in an instant, I know that isn't the case at all. He just sits there, blankly staring at me and my patience is wearing thin rather quickly.

"Jason, fucking spit it out and tell me! What do you know?" I ask, hearing my voice filled with anguish.

"I thought it was strange that she said in her letter that she got a visitor that she didn't want to see. I'm not sure how much you know about the prison system Christian, or what prisoners' rights are… the thing is, if someone comes to see you while you're locked up—it doesn't matter what crime you've committed—if you don't want to see them, you don't have to, end of. If Ms. Anderson didn't want to see the person who visited her she could have simply told the prison guard or nurse no… but she didn't, and it got me thinking." I immediately follow his train of thought and wind up at the same destination.

"Someone inside the facility is allowing whoever is visiting her in without signing any kind of logs or protocol, which means we'll be going into this blind. Fuck!" I tug on my hair, my elbows resting on top of my desk as I try and calm the fuck down.

"You got it in one sir. However, barney also found out that one guard has been taking Ms. Anderson for all her logged visits, so it stands to reason that he'd be taking her to the unlogged ones." He tells me and I can detect the barely hidden hatred of Allyson in his voice every time he mentions her name, for obvious reasons, I completely feel the same. I can't help but wonder what the fuck I was thinking when I cheat on my Ana, the wife who has loved me wholly and completely from the moment we met, who has given birth to four of my children... for what? A few welts and a second-class pussy to fuck?

_Yup, a real no brainer Grey. You were a dick, in fact… you still are!_

"I decided to call the prison and ask if I could get in to see Ms. Anderson without showing up on any kind of radar—he told me no, of course, but once I mentioned a four figure monetary reward he agreed immediately. Welch and I are going to see her tomorrow afternoon; this needs to be nipped in the bud, and quickly." He tells me in a solemn voice, and personally… I couldn't agree more.

"So, tomorrow… we'll know one way or another?" I ask, hearing the hope in my own voice.

"Yes, one way or another I will get to the bottom of this and whoever is responsible will pay Christian." He tells me, allowing me to see nothing but pure conviction in his eyes, and I believe him. I know he'll do whatever he has to protect Ana and the kids. I'm just about to ask him what his game plan is when I hear Ana's voice…

"Christian… where are you?" I hear her call for me as she comes up the stairs. My eyes briefly flash to Jason's and he gives me a nod of agreement. We'll keep this between ourselves, for now.

"In here baby!" I announce just as she reaches the top of our sweeping staircase and pads into my office.

"Hey, I'm not interrupting anything am I?" She asks, looking from me to Jason and back again.

"No, we we're just going over a few security upgrades' at Grey House… nothing to worry about baby." I tell her with what I hope is a reassuring smile, but unfortunately she frowns at me in response.

_You're screwed buddy… completely screwed._

"I was just getting ready to head out actually, Gail will have my nuts if I miss another… you know what, never mind. You don't wana know." He says with a chuckle as he stands up which makes Ana smirk.

"No, you really don't." Ana smirks at him and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Hurry along now Jason… if you're late… you _will _regret it." Ana tells him while ushering him out of my office.

"I'll see you both tomorrow, provided I'm not late and incur Gail's wrath… again." My eyes must be playing tricks on me because I could have sworn I saw Jason's ass cheeks clench.

_Why the fuck were you looking at his ass for anyway Grey, thinking of batting one for the other team?_

Ana turns around to face me once Jason has disappeared down the staircase and out the front door.

"Are you sure you're alright sweetheart?" She asks me as she comes around my desk. I roll myself back a little and pull her onto my lap, not being able to stop myself from nuzzling her neck.

"I'm sure baby, what does Gail have in store for Jason, should I be worried?" I ask her, nibbling on her ear, which earns me a giggle.

"Oh a little of this, a little of that… maybe a toy or two. He missed two dinners this week _without _informing his wife and well, let's just say Mistress Gail is about to come out and play." She tells me, bursting into hysterical laughter when she catches sight of what I am sure is my horrified facial expression.

"Erugh! Damn it woman… aw, I need industrial strength brain bleach to destroy the image you just planted in my head!" I groan, imagining things no one should have to. It's as bad as thinking of my mother and father at it… "Aw, damn it all to fucking hell, now I'm thinking of my parents doing it!" I shudder and various sounds and facial expressions are flowing from me causing Ana to practically fold in half while crossing her legs—presumably to stop her from peeing herself from hysterical laughter.

"I'm glad I'm a source of amusement for you baby, now did you actually come to my office for something, other than to solely laugh at me?" I ask her with my brow raised. She takes a few deep breaths, trying to even out her breathing and wipes away a few rogue tears.

"Oh Christian, that was so funny… your face was—unbelievably expressive. I just want to remind you that Gail cleaned your red room of pain for years, you cannot be so obtuse that you wouldn't think she'd get curious about a little side dish of kink every now and then."

"No, I didn't ever imagine that Gail would like a little kink, now can we please stop talking about Gail in that context, she's taken care of me like a mother would for the last fifteen years and thinking of her in that way is grossing me out." I tell her while wrinkling my nose, which is followed by a shudder.

Ana giggles softly as she saunters seductively towards me. She slides her hands up my chest, allowing them to rest directly on my pectoral muscles—her nails digging into my skin causes a strangled moan to escape my throat. I sigh as she kisses every single inch of my neck, which I tilt to the side to give her easier access.

"I love you so much and I'm sorry for over sharing details about Mrs. Taylor's sex life. Do you forgive me?" She asks, looking up at me with a pout… damn those pouty lips are delicious, especially when they're wrapped around my dick, that precise image causes me to groan loudly and thrust my hips against Ana's heated core.

"Of course I forgive you but fuck baby, I want you so bad right now… where are the kids, do we have time?" I ask her, moaning as her tongue swirls circles against that small patch of skin underneath my ear.

"I'm sorry, we don't have time for a quick ride on the O' train right now, which brings me to why I interrupted your weekly 'bitch' meeting with Jason." She says with a smirk, and I frown in confusion.

"What do you mean, 'weekly bitch meeting', what the fuck is a bitch meeting anyway?" I ask her, she responds by leaning up on her toes, and strokes her fingers over my forehead to smooth away the frown lines. I say in complete confusion. What the fuck is she talking about?

"Oh believe me sweetheart, you have bitch meetings… basically its when you sit and discuss people's private lives and bitch about them and their situations. I'll give you an example; sometimes it's just you and Jason, and other times you invite Luke and Ryan into your office and have a few beers with them. During which, you all bitch about the guys that work for you're company. I remember Luke telling me about this one guy in finance who had an affair with his wife's Cassidy's mother, Mary. When Cassie found out she divorced him and he shacked up with Mary and now she's pregnant so the kids he had with Cassie are the nieces of the baby he's having with Mary." She tells me with a raised brow and I can't help but think that maybe Ana is right about our weekly bitch meeting. I remember about what happened with Gary now… obviously Ana is wrong about the context of our meeting tonight but I'm not about to broadcast that fact.

"Damn I remember the other week Gary's Fiancée otherwise known as his ex-mother-in-law, came into GEH to take him out to lunch, the woman is around late fifties and has a really big bump—she looked real young too until she turned around and her face was like a leather purse, not well preserved at all. I couldn't believe it; we met wife at the GEH holiday party last year, remember?" I tell her and she nods with a chuckle.

"I remember, she was pregnant with their youngest at the time. I feel so bad for her, what a blow to your self-esteem." She says as she runs her hands up and down my chest.

"I don't understand why would he go for the older, wrinkled mother when he had the younger, better looking one as his wife? It makes no sense. Damn, what a fucked up family. I mean, shit… how do you explain to your kids that daddy is now marrying grandma and having another baby that'll be your half-sister and also your aunt. So when you're visiting daddy you'll be going to Grandma's. Fuck, that's really fucked up." I say with a shudder, man that'd be like hooking up with Carla… eurgh!

"Let's steer this conversation back to why you interrupted my weekly bitch meeting with Jason." I say with a grin as I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her little upturned nose.

"Well, I came up here to tell you that Olivia is already tucked up in bed, Teddy is in the shower and Gracie needs to get in the tub so that I can get her hair washed for school tomorrow. I wanted to ask you if you would give Matthew his bath please?" She asks as she reaches up and brushes her fingertips along my jaw.

"Of course I will baby, is he in the nursery or downstairs in his swing? Do you need to nurse him afterwards or has he already had some time with my breasts." I say with a smirk, my hands automatically moving to cup her heavy breasts, my thumbs circling her needy nipples as they pucker at my touch.

"Mmm, oh that feels good. Shit, I want you too!" I can't help my smirk when she's thoroughly distracted by my touch."

"Where did you say Matthew is baby?" I ask with a grin and she playfully glares at me while removing my wandering hands from her beautiful body.

"I would have told you the first time if you hadn't dazzled me so much. He's in the nursery. Once you've bathed him just take him into our room and I'll nurse him once I'm finished with Gracie, okay?" I give her a nod and kiss her pouty lips before she turns and heads back to Gracie's room. I follow out behind her and watch her ass as she enters our daughter's room.

_Damn, what a fantastic ass it is! In fact, you should spend several hours just munching on those delicious cheeks._

I shake my head to clear my inappropriate thoughts and adjust myself before entering my son's nursery. He's lying in his crib gurgling and sucking on the back of his hands. I lower the railing and stroke his little forehead before speaking to him in a quiet, soothing voice.

"Hey there little man, are you ready to get cleaned up?" I ask him as I lift his soft, warm body into my arms and rest him against my chest. I grin as he lifts his head off my chest, I quickly place my hand behind his head to support him if necessary but he's managing fine on his own until he flops forward and rests his forehead against me and I chuckle against his soft baby hair.

"You're trying to lift your head already little man? I think you're going to be mobile way too soon for daddy's liking." I whisper against his soft baby skin. I head into the en-suite where Ana has Matthew's baby size bath—which is sitting in our large Jacuzzi tub—ready to be filled up. I lay him down in the bouncy chair in the bedroom while I fill the bath with warm water. I notice that he's already trying to reach for the toys that are suspended in front of him, his adorable little face filled with concentration.

I dip my elbow into the bubbly water to test its temperature, and thankfully it's perfect. I hear Matthew cooing away as he kicks his legs.

"Are you ready for your bath little guy?" I ask, as I lift him into my arms. I place the portable changing mat on our bed and throw a soft towel over the top of it so that the mat isn't cold against his skin, I imagine it would be a shock to the system to be snug and warm one moment and naked on a cold plastic mat the next. I quickly strip him, making sure to keep the diaper on until I'm going to actually get him in the water; I made the same mistake with Ted when we first brought him home and he gave me a wonderful yellow shower, it wasn't pleasant.

I strip down to my shorts and lift my son off the mat before taking him into the en-suite. I step into the Jacuzzi and sit myself down on the built in bench before pulling the little tub over to rest in between my legs. I slowly lower Matty into the bubbling foam and the second his little toes touch the water he starts cooing like crazy; he loves the water. I support his head in the crook of my elbow and gently hold onto his arm so that he's completely supported while still allowing him to float easily in the bubble-filled water. I talk to him as he just enjoys the feeling of warm water soothing his skin. I don't want him to catch a cold so I reach over and grab one of his soft washcloths and use the lavender baby wash that Ana has left out for me. I work it into a nice lather before washing down his body. He coos at me while I wash his tummy, his arms, underarms and legs, taking care when cleaning in between his little toes and fingers. I chuckle at him as I watch his eyes flutter, he can barely keep them open so I talk to him, hoping the sound of my voice will keep him awake a little longer.

"Are you a tired baby boy, hmm? Mommy still has to nurse you, so don't fall asleep just yet." I take the cloth and softly work the foamy lather into his hair; well the miniscule amount that he has right now. Once he's all soaped up, I make sure that his head is supported in one hand and use the other to cup water and rinse him off. I take care when washing the soap out of his hair, tilting his head back a little more so that the bubbles don't go in his eyes; even though the bottle says 'no more tears'; it's bullshit! I've had it in my eyes before and trust me when I say it stung like shit! Matty jerks his arms up and down in the water, he seems to like the splashing noise and kicks his legs, cooing the entire time until he lets out a long yawn and I make an executive decision, declaring that bath time is over. I grab one of the super-soft baby towels from the warmer and hold the top of the hood under my chin before carefully lifting my extremely slippery son out of the tub. I place him onto my chest and quickly bundle him up within the warm terry towel, making sure the hood is over his head properly.

I carry him back into the bedroom and lay him down on the changing mat I used earlier, patting his skin to soak up the residual moisture.

"Was that a good bath baby boy?" I ask him as I start using a fresh towel to finish drying him off. Thankfully, Ana has laid out everything I need, so I don't have to go looking for stuff. I grab his baby lotion, and by looking at the bottle, it's their sleepy lavender formula for baby soft skin... what the fuck? He'll smell like an old lady if we're not careful.

"I think your mother is obsessed with this lavender crap little man." I whisper conspiratorially to him. I squirt a little into my hand and warm it up a little before gently massaging in into his skin. He coos and grunts as if he's thoroughly enjoying himself. Once I've wiped off the excess from my hands, I grab his diaper and lift his lower body by gently holding his ankles and slide the diaper underneath him and ensure his junk is arranged in the most comfortable way before fastening the sticky tabs. I don't want him to get cold so I quickly slip his vest over his head and manipulate his arms into the sleeves before putting his little toes into his soft socks and reach for the blue and white footed sleeper that Ana has left out.

Once he's dressed I lift him off the changing mat and pull it out from under him. I lie him back down and place pillows at either side of his body so that I can clear up all of his stuff. I slide the changing mat under the bed; which is where it is kept for bath time. I put his dirty diaper into one of the scented baggies and toss it in the trash can at the side of the dresser, it's just a wet one and I'll take it through to the diaper genie once Ana starts nursing. I toss all the creams and powders into the box where they're kept and slide that under the bed as well.

When Teddy was born, Ana didn't see why we needed multiple sets of everything in each room. Ted slept in our room when we first brought him home and after two or three night's running back and forth every time he needed changed she realised that it just made life a whole lot easier when everything is on hand when you need it.

I pick Matthew up once everything is tidied away and get comfy on the bed with him. I lay him down on my chest press kisses on his soft, sweet-smelling forehead as I rub his back soothingly. I watch and listen to his breathing even out and I know he's just about to fall asleep. I'm no sooner thinking of finding out why Gracie's bath is taking so long, when Ana walks into the room. Her eyes land upon our sleepy baby boy and she smiles softly at the sight of us together. Whenever she sees me with our children her eyes glow with so much love and devotion.

"Sorry I took so long sweetheart, Gracie was intent on telling me every single detail of her itinerary for her play-date with Lexi on Saturday." She tells me as she crawls onto our comfy bed and I get lost in her eyes, she is so unbelievably beautiful. She takes my breath away and I know that I am one lucky bastard.

_Damn right you are Grey, and don't you forget it! How will she feel when she finds out about your mistresses letter hmm?_ A flash of guilt settles in my gut and clenches around my heart.

It's not like I'm not going to tell her at all! I know in my heart that as soon as I have more information I am going to sit down with my wife and tell her everything.

_Sure Grey, we believe you!_

"I guess his bath went well, especially since he's almost asleep in your arms." She giggles lightly as her hand reaches over and strokes delicately over our son's soft hair.

"His bath did go well, he's probably sleepy because of that lavender bath soap and moisturiser cream you left out." I smirk at her as Mattie's eyes continue to flutter. "I think it's milk time for this little guy mommy." I say to Ana as I lean over and kiss that sweet spot beneath her ear and gently hand over our son into her waiting arms; trying not to disturb him while doing so.

"Come to mommy big boy. Did daddy give you a nice bath, I think he did!" She murmurs against his wrinkled forehead. Matthew isn't amused at getting moved around and makes no mistake in telling us exactly how much he protests.

"Hey, hey, hey mister man. Mommy is going to feed you right now and maybe that'll soothe you back to sleep huh?" Ana whispers to him as she presses kisses on his little cheeks, his lips and the tip of his tiny nose. I reach over to her and tug the straps of her camisole down her shoulders to reveal her breasts. She guides Matthew's head to rest against her chest and offers him her nipple; which he eagerly takes.

"There you go, that's it baby boy. Mommy and Daddy love you so very much." Ana murmurs to him, rocking from side to side, tapping his diaper rhythmically as he nurses, his grunts and swallows fill the air surrounding us—leaving us free to feel nothing but contentment in this moment. I watch Ana as she tends to our son, listening to her sweet voice give him all the reassurance and love he could possibly need.

"I think he's ready to fall asleep baby." I whisper to Ana as I play with his little covered toes.

"I'm sure he's just fallen asleep but we still need to burp him and switch him over to the other side. That way, we won't be disturbed for a couple of hours… at the very least!" She whispers back in a husky voice with a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

_Oh I like where you're going with this baby!_

"He's going to be pissed at getting moved, even if it's to get more of your delicious milk." I tell her and she rolls her eyes at me with a twinkle in her eyes.

"You're so kinky!" She giggles and I give her my full beam grin and revel in the way it makes her breath hitch in her throat. She shakes her head as if to clear it from delicious thoughts of what I can do to her body and gently removes her nipple from Mattie's mouth, even as she pulls away we can see his jaws are still working overtime. I chuckle at the small trickle of milk making its way from the corner of his mouth as he is completely content… but not for long. I grab the burp cloth and place it over my shoulder before Ana hands him over to me. I rest him against my chest, with my arm securely placed just below his diaper and I use my other hand to rub and pat his back making sure his head is positioned on the cloth as I don't want baby-vomit all over my shirt.

He isn't too happy about being disturbed and he wails in frustration. Ana softly murmurs to him while I work on getting his wind up.

"I know baby boy, daddy is bad for waking you up but you need to give me something, even just a little one." I tell him as I turn my head and kiss his temple. He keeps pulling his legs up towards his chest and it's a clear sign that he has gas in his gut.

"That can't be comfortable for you buddy, come on give it up!" I rub his back in circular motions for three and pat for three; a little harder this time since he isn't giving it up. It took me a long time to be comfortable burping Teddy, I was too scared to use the correct amount of force necessary to get the wind up, so scared of hurting his delicate little back but after countless arguments with Ana and my mother I finally managed it and I was never more proud of myself the first time he let out a healthy belch for me.

"Come on little man, the sooner you give it up, the sooner you can have more milk." I tell him as I pat his back and finally I hear a very satisfying, loud burp.

"Good job buddy, see now, was that so hard?" He whimpers at me and screws up his forehead as if to say:

_'Yes you fucker, it was hard! Now let me back at those wonderful boobies, I'm hungry!'_ I chuckle at myself imagining Matthew as the real life version of Stewie from Family Guy!

"What are you laughing at Mr. Grey?" Ana asks me as she reaches over for our son and cradles him in her arms, offering him her left breast, which he also takes greedily.

_Please leave some for daddy little man. _I watch as Matthew rests his hand on Ana's breast, and starts massaging it reflexively, as if to get more milk from her—watching Ana breastfeeding has to be one of the most fascinating things I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. She continues to rock him from side to side, listening to the sound of his suckling at her breast. I scoot closer to Ana and wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her so that she's tucked into my side and kiss her hair before kissing our sons.

"I hope he leaves some for me baby, I can't wait to taste you, I need to taste you…" I tell her in a whisper, my tongue barely flicking over her earlobe as I speak.

"Christian… sweetheart please don't tease me when I'm trying to get our son to sleep, and just so you know, I can't wait to taste you either… I can't wait to feel you sliding into my warm… wet… mouth!" I feel a pulse of raw need shoot straight to my already-hard shaft.

"Fuck baby, I want you. As soon as our little man is tucked in, you better believe I'll be tucking myself in you." I tell her with a grin and she giggles quietly, trying not to wake Matthew, as that would be a little counter productive. I almost clap and cheer when he stops actively nursing at Ana's breast, opting to just suckle lightly on her nipple instead.

_Daddy will be doing just that, and more soon bud! _

"I think it's safe to say that our baby boy is sound asleep…" Ana murmurs while looking down at Matthew with a serene smile on her face. I can't help but copy her expression when I gaze down at our little boy… he has let Ana's nipple go but his mouth is still open and he is suckling as if he still had it in his mouth. Ana leans down and kisses his sweet forehead, he growls in protest at getting jostled. Thankfully he is a sound sleeper; he just seems to like grumbling about being disturbed, even in the slightest way.

_You'd grumble too Grey, especially being detached from those pert breasts…_

"Baby, why don't you get yourself more comfortable. I'll settle him down in the nursery, I won't be long… I promise." I tell her with a wink. I stand up and gently take him in my arms. His face screws up and he fusses for a few seconds at being moved.

"It's okay buddy, daddy has you." I tell him as we walk out of the bedroom. "I also think daddy is going to have mommy multiple times over the next few hours." I chuckle to myself as I turn on the dimmed wall lights in Matthew's nursery. I switch on the projector that casts a plethora of shapes, animals and colors all over the walls and ceilings, it's mesmerizing—which is probably why babies fall asleep when looking up at it all.

I lower the rail of the crib and kiss Matthew's forehead one more time before laying him down gently. I place my palm on his tummy as he begins to fuss at being put down.

"Shh, its okay… daddy's here sweet boy, daddy's here." I stand like this for a few moments, stroking his hair and once I'm sure he is sleeping soundly, I tuck him in before pulling up the railing. I kiss the tips of my fingers and touch them to his cheek whispering my love for him. I turn around and grab the monitor from the stand and quietly back out of his room.

I walk back into the bedroom and Ana is lying back on the bed wearing a short silk nighty that's trimmed with white lace, I suck in a sharp breath as my eyes drift over the length of her smooth legs.

_Fuck me sideways!_

"Like what you see Grey?" She asks me with a raised brow, while her fingers dance up and down her neck, getting closer to the valley between her breasts with each pass.

"Oh most definitely Mrs. Grey..." I tell her as I unbutton my shirt. "Enjoying the show?" I ask her as her eyes zone in on my chest.

"Mmm, I sure am. In fact, why don't you get your sexy ass over here so I can enjoy feeling you instead." I quickly divest myself of clothing—leaving me standing in only my boxers—before I make my way over to the bed. I sit down and pull my wife onto my lap, I run my hand up and down the outside of her thigh while I kiss and suck on her neck.

"You know, I think this nighty is very sexy…" I tell her in between sucking on her collarbone. She squirms on my lap, stimulating my rock hard length so much that I groan loudly. "Keep still." I tell her as my tongue traces circles over her shoulder. I finger the strap of her nighty, slowly allowing it to slip further down her arm so that I can slide my hand underneath and knead her breast.

"Christian, oh god that feels so good." She tells me, her head lolling against my shoulder as I trap her stiff nipple between my scissored fingers, applying firm pressure while my palm massages her breast.

"Do you want me baby? Tell me?" I whisper in her ear, nibbling on the fleshy lobe.

"Yes, yes I want you so much." She replies weakly and I smirk against the skin of her neck. I nip at the junction of her shoulder biting down a little harder and she hisses sharply.

"I don't believe you Mrs. Grey… tell me like you mean it?" Her head lifts up sharply and in a move so quick it shocks me, she spins around on my lap so that she's straddling me. My hands automatically grip her hips as she rubs herself against my dick, which causes me to groan as I realise she isn't wearing panties. I can even feel her wet warmth begin to soak through the thin cotton of my boxers. Her hands rest atop of mine and slowly slide up my forearms, up my biceps to my shoulders and finally into my hair. Her fingers run through the soft locks and her nails scratch my scalp, almost causing me to purr in delight until her hands roughly grasp my hair and pull, hard. I hiss a sharp breath at the painful sensation and her blue eyes flame with passion. Her hips begin to circle faster and faster, still keeping her painful grip on my hair; which only serves to heighten the pleasure she's giving me.

"God baby, yes!" I lean forward and nip at her lips and chin, which causes her to pull even tighter. "Fuck Ana… pull hard baby! You're so wet, so fucking wet I can feel you… take my cock out baby, please!" I shamelessly beg, fuck I am so close, I'm riding the rolling waves and I know they'll crash on me soon but I hold off, I want to feel her wet core touching my dick and I won't come until I do.

She rests her forehead against mine, her blazing eyes boring into my own making everything that much more intense. Her hips move back and forth faster and faster as we share breaths, our lips are mere millimeters away and I want to lick them so badly but she won't let me get closer.

"Does this tell you just how much I mean it Grey; never doubt how much I want you!" She says with a growl, twisting her hand and pulling my head to the side so that she can kiss and suck my neck. Her free hand runs down my chest as she shifts herself back on my lap and her small fingers reach into my boxers and pull my dick from their cotton prison, she pushes my length down and adjusts herself on top. She starts rolling her hips back and forth so that I'm sliding along her dripping folds and I can't help my groans of pleasure. She moves faster and faster and we're panting so hard.

"God baby, you feel so good! I need to be inside you, please beautiful… I'm sorry, fuck… for teasing you! Let me slip inside!" I ask her and she nods frantically. She lifts herself slightly, taking my dick; wet with all her juices and positions me at her entrance. My eyes roll back as she slides down slowly, taking me inch by fucking inch and it feels so damn good.

"Ugh… you feel amazing, fucking amazing baby!" I tell her as I palm her ass, squeezing and kneading the soft cheeks. She rotates her hips so that I feel her on all sides and purposefully clenches her inner walls, fuck I love it when she does that shit. I grip her hips tightly and begin to lift and rock her on my dick, her beautiful breasts are bouncing in front of me and I can't take my eyes off them. I sit up, which changes the angle inside her. Ana's head drops back with her mouth slack in a silent 'ahh' I roll my hips upward, hitting that sweet spot with every thrust.

"Mmm Christian, you feel so good, touch me!" She rests her forehead against my own, her blue eyes on fire as they penetrate mine. She slides her hands to rest them on top of mine, which are currently gripping her hips tightly, and slowly slides them back up her body to her breasts, her hands manipulating mine to squeeze and rub her nipples. I lean forward and take one into my mouth, my tongue circling around and around the hardened peak. I bite down and Ana's hips start to thrust up and down faster and faster. I can feel her walls start to flutter around me, my dick gets impossibly harder, and thicker as I approach my limit. I know I'm going to blow my load any second and I grit my teeth, trying to hold off.

"Come on Ana… you're almost there baby, please fuck! Come for me, come now!" I growl and bite down on her nipple harshly and piston my hips as fast as I can. I feel the tingle start at the base of my shaft and I know I'm almost at the point of no return.

"Ana… fuck I can't h-hold off any… fuck! Fuck baby fuuuck!" I growl, my thrusts turning erratic as I erupt with so much force that I kicks off Ana's own release.

"Christian… hnngg yesssssss!" She whimpers as her body trembles at the height of her orgasm. I slowly thrust in and out as I rub her pretty little clit to bring us both back down to earth. I kiss her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks and finally her beautifully-kiss-swollen lips as I hold her to my chest, my body still buried deep within hers.

"I love you…" She whispers as she runs the backs of her knuckles along my cheek and jaw and leans down to peck my lips once more.

"I love you too baby, so very much." I hold her close, burying my nose in her hair. "How about a bath before bed, we made a mess." Ana giggles and looks down at where we're still joined.

"We sure did, but it was worth it!" She tells me with a grin, and nips at my bottom lip.

"Definitely worth it." I whisper back and stand up, her legs wrapped around my waist with me still buried deep within her. As I walk into the en-suite, all I can hope is that that bitch is full of shit, because if she isn't and this isn't over, I will end every fucking one of them...

* * *

**A/N:** _dundundun!_

_I know some of you wanted Christian to tell her right away, and he should have of course but you have to see it from his point of view, Ana slipped into deep depression after what happened with Anderson, and he doesn't want her to regress into that damaged terrified woman if Allyson is blowing smoke… for all he knows, it's a bunch of bullshit._

_I have to apologize to all of you who have been waiting on this update. Having a 3-month-old infant is not easy, especially finding time to write and post updates. I have also been suffering from major writers block… I've scrapped the majority of the pre-written chapters and I'm currently editing the ones I was sort of okay with. The story was going in the wrong direction so I hope you like this chapter; you sure waited long enough for it._

_I'm not going to promise a schedule ever again, those who have children will know that they don't adhere to them at all LOL!_

_Love & Laughs_  
_S, xo_

_Ps: Feed the review monster, he holds a gun to my head and makes me write! ;) xo_


	7. Believe!

**All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein. **

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I'm sitting on my cot when I hear a rap on the door, the guard—aka Joe—walks in and smiles at me. I know he allows people in to see me without following the rules, but I don't think he'd ever cause anyone any harm, unlike me.

"You have a visitor Anderson." All breath leaves my body… did he send his team? Was it really so easy to get him to listen to me? Then again, it could be _her._

"Who is it, who's come to see me?" Maybe it's Richard! I sigh at the prospect as he blames himself for what I've done. He stands by the logic that if he hadn't walked out on me and let me go, if he'd helped me instead of running away… that maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe they would, but it isn't his fault. It will never be anyone's fault but mine. I got myself into this and now I have to do whatever it takes to keep Anastasia Grey safe, at all costs.

"He said his name was Jay Tyler. There are another two guys, but I never caught their names. Don't worry; I'll be outside the whole time. I won't let anything happen to you Anderson… it's just, I need the money you know?" He tells me with a frown, I get that but… at least Grey listened to me. I just have to make his men not want to kill me. Then I have to make them believe what I have to say.

_Not much of a task is it Anderson?_

He leads me down the long hallway, I have butterflies in my stomach and I feel like I'm going to spray vomit everywhere. We reach the visitation room and Joe open's the door and lets me in. There are three men in the room with me, two of which I recognize. Jason Taylor, Mr. Grey's personal security. Luke Sawyer—who think's I shot him, which I didn't—who is Mrs. Grey and the children's personal security.

I take a few deep breaths and sit down. Sawyer's eyes bore into mine with such distain that I have to look away. I can still feel his stare and if looks could kill, I'd be six feet under! At this moment, I wish I could be… but I have a job to do and I'm not going to rest until I do

"Just so you know, you are so lucky that I had to leave my weapon in the locker room or your brain matter would be splattered all over these walls!" Sawyer growls at me, I can see and feel the hatred from all of them; I deserve it after what I done… even the things I am not guilty of.

"And I would deserve it. I know you don't want to be here but you have to listen to what I have to say. An—"

"Its Mrs. Grey to you, don't you dare say her name!" Sawyer growls out at me again, the guy I don't recognize places his hand on Sawyer's shoulder in an effort to calm him.

"I apologize. Mrs. Grey is in danger… I didn't work alone." I shake my head thinking back to that awful time. I was so stupid and fucked up in the head… I still am.

"Well Anderson, we're all ears. Say what you've got to say." Taylor says as he sits down in one of the seats on the other side of the table, he takes a recorder out of his pocket and set's it up while the other two continue to stand and glare at me. Once he's done and pressed record he nods at me to begin.

"I am going to tell you everything that happened after Mrs. Grey arrived at Escala that night… but I need to know if the NDA is active as I'll have to share information that happened the that night…" I take a deep breath and maintain eye contact with the man sitting in front of me.

"I have a temporary waver here that Mr. Grey has signed to allow you to tell us what we need to know, the waver applies to myself, Mr. Welch and Mr. Sawyer. It doesn't apply to anyone outside of this room—failure to adhere to the NDA outside of this room means that we'll rain hell all over you for years to come."

"I understand Mr. Taylor. I don't wish to cause any of the Grey's further distress than I already have and I mean that. I have had nothing but time to pour over everything that happened over the course of last year and you cannot hate me more than I already hate myself. Now, that night… Mr. Grey immediately told me to leave after Mrs. Grey found us in the playroom. He told me the code to the service elevator and went after his wife. After having gotten over the shock at being caught in such a compromising situation I went back to the sub bedroom and got dressed. When I was leaving I heard them shouting at each other and I couldn't help but listen. I heard him tell her that he was sorry and that he loved her, that I meant nothing…" I pause, the memories of feeling unwanted cloud my mind and I have to take a deep breath and a sip of water before I continue.

"After I left the apartment I got into the car provided and went home. Around an hour maybe more someone came to the door. I wasn't expecting anyone and stupidly I thought it was Mr. Grey coming to tell me that our arrangement could continue." I scoff, what an idiot indeed.

"The last person I expected to be at my door was my ex-madam. Elena smiled at me and asked if we could talk. Regardless of the fact that I hadn't heard or seen of her in years, I let her in. I offered her a drink and we sat down. She told me that she wasn't here as a domme but as a friend and she had a proposition for me. Before she could say anything else, I flat out refused. I told her I wasn't interested in being in the scene anymore. I'd had enough, it ruined my life in more way's than one." I whisper as my eyes burn with unshed tears, it would hurt too much to ever let them fall. I pick up my water and take another sip. My stomach is fluttering nervously as the three burly men show me nothing but impassive expressions.

_Fuck me this is more difficult than I thought!_

"What made Elena come to visit you? Did she know of your involvement with Mr. Grey during the time you were… seeing each other, did you tell her? If you did, well that would be a direct violation of the NDA Ms. Anderson!" Taylor tells me with barely concealed hatred, I don't blame them for it.

"No I didn't tell her, I hadn't been in contact with her for over thirteen years, maybe more. As you know, Elena used to set up subs for Mr. Grey. The last time I'd seen Elena was when she interviewed and approved me as Mr. Grey's sub.

Anyway, she told me that she hadn't come to see me about subbing for anyone. She told me that she happened to be passing Escala when she saw me leave. She asked me what I was doing there, did I have a friend who lived in the building. I told her that; yes I was visiting a friend. She shook her head and I knew she didn't believe me… Elena could always smell bullshit from a mile away. She asked me again and this time I was to tell the truth or I'd regret it. It didn't matter if I wasn't in the scene anymore, no one says no or lies to Elena Lincoln and gets away with it." I shiver at the thought of that vindictive bitch. I loathe her and I hope that one-day, she gets hers.

"After I told her how Mr. Grey and I got back in touch, what we'd been doing together… she was so happy. We spoke for ages; going over every single interaction I'd had with Mr. Grey. I told her that I saw how Mr. Grey was with his wife when she caught us at Escala, how he seemed so concerned about the baby she was carrying, his baby. That's when Elena arranged for me to get IVF with a donor who looked as close as physically possible to Mr. Grey.

When the affair we'd had come out in the papers, Elena was absolutely beaming. She told me that this was my chance at happiness—she said that his 'current' wife was a gold digging bitch and that she didn't love Mr. Grey, not like I did—she loved the money. Elena said that Mrs. Grey wouldn't stay around after he publicly humiliated her, that she'd leave him and take their children with her. Which of course, would leave Mr. Grey heartbroken. Then I'd show up with 'our' baby and he'd have a ready made new family to step into and we could be so 'happy' together. Looking back on it, I was so desperate for someone to love me that I believed every line she fed me, hook, line and fucking sinker.

Elena said we would have to be extremely careful because if Mr. Grey found out, he'd force me to have an abortion and 'my' chance at 'happiness' would be out the window. She told me that I'd have to change my name and essentially disappear until the baby was born. She also said that it was imperative that Mr. Grey didn't ask for a DNA test, because he'd know the baby wasn't his.

When I first met Mr. Grey all those years ago, I was deeply in love with him. He didn't think he was worthy of love and affection—it wasn't true. He was worthy, and he was a very good man. When I told him that I'd fallen in love with him, he ended our contract and that was it. I was completely cut out of his life but he still provided for me financially—even though I didn't want the money, I just wanted him.

I went on a downward spiral after that, drinking, hooking up at BDSM bars, hoping and praying that I could find someone who could live up to the standard Mr. Grey set. He ruined me for other men, no one lived up to him… and after a while, I gave up. That's when I met my ex-husband. I was in a bar, he stopped and spoke to me and for the first time since I'd met Mr. Grey, I felt something—and in that moment I decided I wanted to be someone else, someone who didn't have a past of being completely fucked up in the head, so fucked up that she enjoyed being hit. When he asked me my name I told him that I was Allyson Reid, I felt so much relief at not being that person anymore.

I had a few contacts; if I was serious about becoming someone else I'd have to go all the way. I bought counterfeit documents, birth certificates, passport, social security number, education I got everything. A whole new identity and someone special to get to know and fall in love with. The only thing with being someone else is that eventually… your true colors, your darkness eventually shines through the polished veneer you create.

Once Richard and I divorced I didn't see any point in continuing to be Allyson Reid and went back to my own identity… partly because I was tired of trying to be someone else, and partly so that Richard couldn't find me. I'd allowed him to waste too much of his life being with me, I had to disappear so that he could completely move on.

When I told Elena this, she said that it would probably be wise to resume living as Allyson Reid. That way, even if Mr. Grey and his security team were trying to keep tabs on me, they'd come up empty. Elena arranged for me to move away for a while so that I could continue with my pregnancy and our plan.

The day that it came out about Mr. and Mrs Grey getting back together, I'd never seen Elena so angry. She couldn't believe what was happening; she kept saying 'it wasn't supposed to be like this, she wasn't supposed to take him back.' Elena decided that we had to change our plan, for Mr. Grey to accept me and 'our' child, he had to be lonely and heartbroken… if he was with his wife, it wouldn't work. She decided that I had to contact Mr. Grey and announce I was pregnant, I was eight months along at that point, there was no way he'd be able to do anything about it at that point.

Elena leased an apartment for me to live in—which is where you found the shrine. I didn't even know that it existed at that point. After I'd gotten settled in my own apartment, Elena told me that it was time to reveal myself. I'd tried to contact Mr. Grey countless times but he refused my calls, Elena said that I had to visit Mrs. Grey, she wouldn't be able to resist having a face to face with the woman who was about to destroy her marriage.

Essentially though, our pregnancy plan failed—Mrs. Grey saw right through it and I'm glad she did. I really am. Elena drummed it into me about how important it was that Mr. Grey didn't ask for a DNA test. I didn't see it at the time but looking back on everything, this was her true plan all along. When he did the DNA test I just reacted; and because of what I did in the hospital… I lost my son. I had nothing more to lose at that point did I? All I wanted was my son…" I take a deep breath and wipe away my tears. If I hadn't done what I did, I'd have him in my arms every day and I'll always regret not embracing him when I had the chance.

"After Mr. Grey had Oliver put into my ex-husband's custody I really lost it. Elena had come to see me and I don't know how she did it, but she managed to get me out of the psych department and entrusted into her care. She took me back to her place, she took care of me. She'd sit and brush my hair and comfort me as I tried to deal with the feeling of having my son taken away for over four months. I was hormonal and it felt like my son had died, or that I'd imagined his existence. Elena then started to tell me how Mrs. Grey was the one who made Christian take Oliver away, to punish me for her husband and I falling in love. You have to understand that at this point, I was so fucked up. I had severe depression and separation anxiety. I projected all of my trust and emotions on Elena. I wanted to do everything humanly possible to please her, which made my perception of right and wrong severely fucked up… I couldn't talk, everything was so messed up and I just wanted my baby back—they wouldn't give him to me so I stopped talking.

She convinced me that Mrs. Grey was to blame for everything and we had to make her pay for what she'd done to me, and to Oliver. She said that all we had to do was get rid of Mrs. Grey… then Mr. Grey and I could be together forever. I'd become their children's mother. I remembered sitting on her sofa and she was braiding my hair… I was crying because I wanted my son. I can remember her humming as she sat with me. I'll never forget her words as long as I live…

_"Ally darling, you know that you mean the world to me, I love you like a daughter. You and Christian were perfect for each other. I knew it, even back then when I first set you two up together… I tried to tell him when he ended your contract that you were 'the one' but you know what he's like!"_ _I nod. I know what Master is like. I love master. I love… my son. I want my son. Please give me my son. Master will give him to me, I know he will._

_"He is stubborn Ally, you want him back don't you darling?" She asks me and I nod. I am not capable of anything else. I hurt too much._

_"Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to get your happiness?" She asks and again, I nod._

_"Good girl. I think I know what we have to do; you said you are prepared to do whatever it takes… I hope that you are telling the truth and that I haven't wasted all this time and effort for nothing Allyson. You need to take what's yours. We've learned the hard way that his mousey wife won't just leave him sweetheart, we need to make her go away permanently. You need to make her disappear then you and Christian will be together always, you'll be a mother again. Don't you want that darling?'_

I shake my head to rid myself of that particularly stressing memory and look back up into Taylor's eyes.

"I didn't know what to say. I was confused, disgusted that she thought me capable of killing someone. I couldn't do it. I shook my head because I couldn't speak and she slapped me so hard. She told me that she'd spent so much time and effort to bring me my happiness and that I would do as I was told, period. She told me that to be successful in making Mrs. Grey 'go away permanently without suspicion' that I'd have to leave her home and live myself again, to prepare myself for what I had to do. I agreed because I just wanted away from her. I figured I'd leave and never look back. She dropped me off at my apartment and promised she'd be in touch. I sat in my living room for hours, convinced I could hear Oliver crying in the apartment above me. I went up there and started banging on the door and when this young woman answered holding a little girl I broke down. I begged her to help me find my son and that's how I started talking again. I called Elena the next day and told her that I wanted out, the girl upstairs told me that if I could prove I was stable again, that I'd be able to get Oliver back. I was so excited; I couldn't wait to tell Elena. She didn't share my joy, even though she pretended to be happy about it. A few days later she called me and told me that she'd come up with another plan, one where I could get Oliver back and still have Mr. Grey. She told me that we would meet around two in the afternoon at the zigzag café.

It's funny, even in the beginning… when she offered to help me get Mr. Grey back… somehow; deep down I knew I couldn't trust her. I have proof of her involvement—in everything. It's taken me a while to get better psychologically and to remember everything with clarity. More and more is coming back to me, I don't know all the locations but I do know that I hid stuff all over the place. I have parking tickets, pictures, restaurant receipts, money deposits from Elena's bank account to mine and a recorded conversation between Elena and myself.

The day I went to meet Elena at the café, I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't settle… I was jumpy and agitated. I'd been getting better up until that point. I was staying away from Elena, and talking to Andrea instead, she's the girl who lived above me. She was helping me get better, allowing me to help her take care of her daughter so that when I did get to see Oliver again… I'd know how to take care of him. Elena was already there when I arrived, she looked smug—well as much as her botoxed face allowed the display of any emotive expression. I sat down and ordered a drink. I told her that I'd been doing better and that if I managed to sort myself out, I'd be able to see Oliver. She just sneered at me and said it didn't matter how much better I got, Mrs. Grey would never allow me to see Oliver—I knew that she'd been with Richard, Elena told me that Mrs. Grey had been meeting up with Richard and seeing Oliver, that it was unfair that Mrs. Grey had a relationship with my son and I did not.

She said that the only way I'd ever be able to see Oliver, was if Mrs. Grey was gone for good. I told her no, that I may be fucked up but I wouldn't, I couldn't kill anyone. That's when she laughed; she really laughed and told me that she knew that. If I were capable of that, why would she have to do something to force my hand? She handed me photos, they were photos of Richard and Oliver at the park playing, picture after picture of my son and my ex-husband. I couldn't believe that she would go out of her way to get me pictures, I was grateful, elated even… until I got to the last two shots, one was of Oliver's bedroom… he was in his crib asleep with a gun pointed at his temple, the other was of Richard as he was walking out to his car holding Oliver and you could see the red dot sight on both their foreheads. Elena told me that all she would have to do is make a phone call and they would both be killed instantly.

I was shocked and I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do. I asked her, if she could have Richard and Oliver killed so easily, why couldn't she do the same with Mrs. Grey, why did it have to be me. Her answer was that it isn't so easy with Mrs. Grey because of all the security and a bullet to the forehead for her, would be too quick. She wanted her to suffer, to beg for death. I didn't want to do it, I honestly didn't. I had no choice, my son's life was in danger and I had to save him. Elena was with me when I took them, I didn't shoot Mr. Sawyer… she did. When I was… when I attacked Mrs. Grey… Elena was there, she watched from the other bedroom. Once she was sure Mrs. Grey would die from her injuries she left. Ten minutes later you all arrived. When I attacked Mrs. Grey all I could think of was Elena's words floating around in my head. I'd been drinking that afternoon… I just kept hearing Elena saying that it was Mrs. Grey's fault I didn't have my son, it was her fault I didn't have Mr. Grey, it was her fault for catching us and I just snapped. It was like everything was tinged with red… I couldn't think or see straight. I wanted to make her suffer for taking my son away. In my mind, what I done was justified. Only it wasn't and I was too fucked up to see it for what it was. It wasn't until I was sent here and got into therapy that I realised that this scenario was what Elena envisioned all along, only Mrs. Grey would be dead. She wanted me to lose my son so that I'd have true emotions and anger that Elena focused onto Mrs. Grey.

Elena visited me a few weeks ago. She came here to tell me that I'd failed, and to ask if I had anything to say to redeem myself. She threatened my son and ex-husband, then when she came here to tell me that it didn't matter that I'd failed to kill Mrs. Grey, someone else would succeed. I told her to stay away, that I'd bring out all the evidence I'd stashed if she went anywhere near the Grey's. I didn't know Mrs. Grey was pregnant when I attacked her, they have a beautiful family and I am nothing but glad that I failed to destroy them. I… I am sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't… you have to believe that I will do whatever it takes to remember where everything is hidden, there are chunks… days missing from my memory. I think I know where I hid something. I think at my place, the one where Mr. Grey first showed up and began seeing me. In the bedroom under a loose floorboard. My therapist said my brain shut down to protect itself, we're trying to fill in the blanks but it's going to take time. I can remember hiding something in there but I don't know for sure what it is! I know you have no reason to believe me, but please… heighten security, make sure she is safe. I don't want Elena to succeed. I will do everything I can to protect her, to stop this from going any further. Just make sure she and their children are covered because Elena is out for blood."

"How do we know you aren't talking out of your ass? You could be sending us on a wild goose chase, while something else, something bigger is going down. Why should we trust you after everything you've done?" Taylor asks, staring me down but I maintain eye contact.

"I'm not lying, unfortunately everything I've told you is the truth. Look into Elena's finances, look into the accounts and background of Allyson Reid. I am telling the truth. I have to do whatever it takes to stop Elena from continuing with this madness. Elena knew that if I succeeded in killing Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey would have either killed me himself or had me locked away for a very long time. Elena seems to think that without Mrs. Grey around, she'll get him back, that she'll be able to control him again. She loathes that she isn't in control of him anymore and she'll do whatever it takes to get him back in her clutches and she believes that it's all Mrs. Grey's fault. That she ruined everything when she met and married Mr. Grey. Elena won't stop; she'll never stop until she gets what she wants! As soon as I have more information, something more solid I will give it to you. You have no reason to believe a word I am saying but I had to try, I had to know that I tried everything I could to prevent Mrs. Grey being hurt again at the hands of Elena Lincoln or whoever she's got to do her bidding.

That's the thing about Elena, she won't get her hands dirty herself, but she isn't bulletproof. She makes mistakes and I swear I have enough evidence to put her away for good. I just need to remember what I done with it! Please. Protect them." I tell him, my heart is racing as my eyes fill and cloud with tears that wont stop. They have to believe me, they have to protect her. I stare into Taylor's eyes and he gives me one solemn nod and I know. I know he'll do whatever it takes. He'll protect her.

"Don't contact Mr. Grey directly, contact me. You'll be hearing from me shortly Ms. Anderson." Taylor stops the recorder and slips it into his pocket then stands. The man I don't recognise knocks on the door to announce they are ready to leave.

"Mr. Taylor, what do I do if Elena shows up here to see me?" I ask him before they leave.

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it. No matter what she offer's the guard, I'll double it." I whisper my thanks as Joe opens the door and they file out of the room. I release a breath, relieved that I have managed to get them to listen. I can only hope that I remember where I've hidden all the evidence while in a fucked up state of mind, and I hope it's sooner rather than later.

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**A/N:** _I figured you all deserved another chapter for managing to go through the long wait for Chapter 5. I hope you enjoyed it even though it was rehashing most of the stuff we already knew, but you now know how Elena got so deep into Allyson's head and pushed her over the proverbial edge._


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